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tupuppy

2006-03-16 7:49 AM

COURT JESTER

12230

ROCKFORD, IL

Subject: Thursday Funnies

I just don't understand women. After the last child was born, my wife
told me that we had to cut back on expenses -- and that I had to give
up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker; maybe a 12 pack on weekends...

Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day she came home from
grocery shopping and when I looked at the receipt, I saw $45 for
makeup.

I said, "Wait a minute! I've given up beer and you haven't given up
anything!"

She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you."

I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"

I don't think she'll be back.

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Two women friends had gone for a "girls night out". They both were very

faithful, loving wives... however, they had gotten a bit over enthusiastic

on Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to

pee, so they stopped in a cemetery. One had nothing to wipe with so she

decided to take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however, was

wearing expensive panties and didn't want to ruin them...luckily she had

squatted next to a grave that had a fresh wreath with a ribbon on it...so

she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls completed their

"business" they continued toward home. The following day, one of the

women's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was

still in bed and hung over. He P honed the other husband, and said "These