Two words: In. Sane.

By far, the most challenging swim of my life. As the starting gun fired, I launched hard and immediately pulled out in front as I made my way to the first buoy around 800 yards away. I was amazed at the speed at which I was closing on this first buoy! I almost didn't have to stroke at all. Riding the strong current and winds, large waves kept pushing me closer and closer - it almost felt like body surfing.

As I rounded the first buoy, I began the short 100 yards or so to the second turnaround buoy. Now I was swimming perpendicular to the winds and immediately started feeling queasy as I rolled sickeningly sideways over the swells. I was relieved to finally reach the second turnaround buoy and make my way back. The relief was short lived because now the real challenge began!

Swimming head-on into the wicked chop, I could only imagine those crab-fishing boats that you see on TV being tossed around like toys in the Bering Sea during a particularly violent Opilio season storm. Every time I turned my head to take a breath, I was "bitch slapped" in the face by a large wave. Basically my swim pattern was this: Turn head, take a breath, choke on water, cough and sputter while exhaling, attempt to sight, get another face full of water, repeat as necessary...

The wind was whipping whitecaps and spray everywhere! Because of the swells, I lost sight of all the buoys and even other swimmers! I had no idea where I was on the course or if I was making any forward progress. Sighting was all but impossible. Every now and then random chance would put both me and the buoys at the crest of a wave and I got a quick glimpse to get my bearings. Astoundingly, my navigation was pretty good. Depressingly, my forward progress was not.

After what seemed like an age, I rounded the last buoy, having no idea how I did compared to the others. I felt like I was the only person out in the water. All I know is that I was shooting for a sub 40 minute swim and ended up swimming a 49. Considering the conditions though, I think that was pretty damn good for me.

I exited the water, glad that it was over, and a bit more tired than usual, not to mention dizzy and disoriented from the cold and the waves. I shambled clumsily into T1, relieved to be finished with the first leg of this insane journey but seriously worried about the next leg.

Nothing. I am actually glad I did this swim. I can safely say that after this, I will never, EVER be anxious about an open water swim again. I think I handled myself very well. I kept calm. I kept focused and I navigated well.

This was the kind of transition where you had to pack all your gear in a bag before leaving so speed wasn't really important. This day was going to be all about finishing, not breaking records! Frankly, I was glad to have the extra time to settle down and get my balance before heading out.

Put chloroform in my helmet so I would have passed out and not have been able to start the ride.

I started the swim with two words. For the bike I'll give you three:

Hoe. Lee. Shit.

With out a doubt, the toughest 70 miles I've ever ridden. The wind was relentless and ferocious! Because of the nature of the course (gullies, berms, and lots of sharp turns) the wind could not pick a direction. It seemed to blow in every direction at once. Violent and sudden gusts threatened to blow me off the road on numerous occasions. At times, it took all my concentration and focus just to hold my bike in a straight line.

Climbing hills was torture! At one point, climbing an 8% grade with 40mph winds pushing me back, I could barely move forwards. Exhausted, I was probably cruising at a blistering 4mph. With around 20 miles to go, my body was starting to shut down.

The temperature had climbed to 91 degrees and I was starting to feel nauseous. Every time I tried to slake my bottomless thirst, I had to fight the strong urge to vomit. This feeling of nausea only intensified as the miles crawled by. Not only had my fatigue surpassed anything I'd ever experienced (even during the Ironman), but my mind was so tired of trying to just stay focused in that perpetual, blustering, furnace.

But even beyond the fatigue, beyond the exhaustion, I mostly felt annoyed. Just imagine how raw your nerves would become if some obnoxious jackass kept flicking your ear with his finger for four and a half hours while loudly singing the theme song to "Jeopardy" - nonstop. That's how I felt. There weren't enough curse words in all the languages ever spoken in the history of mankind to satisfy the rage for the wind that had welled up inside me!

By the time I rolled into transition, I'd spent 4 hours and 20min on the course. I was toast. I also felt as sick as a dog. The thought of running 8 miles straight up the side of a mountain almost made me want to start crying.

Sleep the deep sleep that only a helmet full of chloroform can grant you.

I stumbled over to an aid station, took a swig of gatorade and promptly vomited all over the asphalt. Game over, man. The world was spinning and all thoughts of finishing this thing oozed away like the pool of my puke slowly making it's way back down to the transition area. In past races, my body has begged me to stop and I ignored it, but this time it wasn't begging. It was demanding. I had no other option so I reluctantly agreed. I will live to fight another day....

I made the right choice. There was no way I could continue. Aside from that, my body was also fricasseed from the sun and another hour plus under that supernova would have roasted me alive. Time to start training for my next race in three weeks.

I plopped down into the lake and cooled off before heading to the finish line to cheer on the truly EPIC athletes who actually made it to the end!


Primarily, it was the conditions of the day that brought me down. I think I must have lost count of the times I heard the phrase "holy crap, that was the hardest thing I ever did!" at the finish line. But also, I was truly not prepared for this race. It was my first race coming back from the off season, and I was only doing half-assed training up to that point anyway. I wanted a good butt-whoopin in the early season, and by Jove, I certainly got one!


I have to first acknowledge two things:

1)My wetsuit - I have a Nineteen Pipeline and even though it is only their "entry level" suit, it is awesome! I've had three different wetsuits so far and this one is by far the most comfortable and the best performing.

2)My trisuit. A big thanks to Epix Gear for providing me with one of the only comforts I enjoyed in this sufferfest. My one piece airflow suit was comfortable and kept me cool even in these insane conditions. Also NO CHAFING!

About the Leadman event:
Aside from the severe ass kicking I received, the event was awesome! First class treatment of the athletes all the way! The swag was out of this world, the course was well marked and supported, the transition area was straight out of the Olympics, and the finish line party was top-notch! Considering that I only paid $125 to enter (with a coupon code - thanks Jordan Rapp!) as opposed to $625 for an Ironman event, Lifetime put on a much better show than WTC.

My two critiques: they should have started the race at 6:30 as opposed to 10:00. The winds always intensify in the afternoon and the extra time would have changed everything. Secondly, I wish there would have been some nutrition options on the bike course. My flask was out of gel about 2/3 into the ride and I was hurting. Big thanks to all the volunteers - it was a brutal, brutal day out there!