Family Cemeteries

My wife's Aunt just died last week and we were talking about this very thing over the weekend.  I think society in the US has made it more difficult to have the family cemetery's anymore.  For example, my Dad was married and divorced 4 times and my mom 3 times.  There are various kids from different spouses scattered all over the country.  I grew up in Sioux City, IA but live in Omaha, NE and consider it home.  

I'd prefer to be buried near where I live and consider home if it were necessary.  Also, I think its important to be close to the surviving immediate family members so they can visit the site if they want to.

So, moral of the story is I think its complicated now.  Families used to live generation after generation in the same area and they don't anymore.

That's really cool.

I've always said "part me out, burn the rest". Where would I like said ashes to be laid to rest? Hmm...

I guess I've kind of envisioned a (highly illegal) Viking funeral of being pushed off shore in a wooden longboat, and having a flaming arrow light my pyre. Not that I've identified with the sea all that much. I'm more of a desert person. Maybe add my ashes to the desert sands...

Cremation for me.

I'm assuming that I'll leave enough money behind for my requests to be carried out, and assuming all my kids are alive at the time, I'd like them (at least one of them) to spread 1/4 in the Caribbean ocean over a reef off the coast of Belize, 1/4 at the top of the Rockies/Tetons/Sierras (their pick), and a quarter either on the amazon or somewhere near Machu Pichu.  Then they have to pick a group vacation tour and all go together and throw the rest of me out somewhere of their choosing.  The legacy I want to leave them is a sense of adventure.  My wishes being carried out or not will prove whether I accomplished that or not.

My wife wants to be cremated and spread under a single giant oak in the middle of a field.

My dad has a plot already bought in a family cemetery in AL.  My dad's only request is that he is buried in his car that he loves so much.  He even stipulates in his will that my mom is not allowed to cremate him.

My mom wants cremation for herself.  I will take her ashes out to Walker Lake near Hawthorne, NV where she grew up and spread them out in the lake.  

I also want to be cremated when I go.  I would like to have the ashes placed in the ocean.  Although I see my husband putting me in a Folger's can and my ashes being spread a la "the dude".   

I'm actually conflicted by the cremation or no cremation.  I recognize that it makes absolutely no difference for me once I'm gone, but I think about the legacy aspect.

If I'm cremated and spread around then I only live on in the memories of my loved ones and when they're gone my memory is gone too.  Whereas if I'm buried somewhere and my great great great great grandkids want to look me up they can.  

I have visited my great great grandparents graves and its hard to explain.  Obviously I don't know them or have never spoken to them, but I feel like I have a small connection to them.

My wife on the other hand wants to be cremated and spread in her garden, which I think is downright creepy.  lol

Sold

couple of reasons I like cremation: 1) I have no use for myself once I'm dead  2) I can be "buried" in places they don't allow burials 3) It's cheaper 4) I don't really like the idea of rotting away in a box, if it was just in the dirt, w no box or concrete or anything, I'd probably be more open to it 5) burial just doesn't fit my paradigms.

I kind of look at this way.  A headstone isn't me.  It's a symbol of me.  And that symbol doesn't really reflect anything about me.  The only thing that reflects me is my kids mostly and then my family and friends on a secondary basis.  Nothing of me will live on through a headstone, but a little bit of me will live on through them, and then less and less as the generations pass until eventually nothing.  I'm ok with that.  As I said, my lasting legacy I'm trying to leave my kids is a sense of adventure, and so when my great, great grandkids ask, "Who was grandpa Justin?", I want for the answer to be, "he was just some bat-sh*t crazy old man that made your great grandpa and your grandpa travel all across the world to spread his ashes in places like.........." because I made them have a memorable (if not unforgettable) experience.

Plus, if they are going to visit a headstone, I'd just assume that "headstone" be at the top of Grand Teton National Park rather the Bubba Bo Bob Cemetery.

I get that people like burials though.  It is good for the grieving process.

Now I can't stop thinking about the scene in Poltergeist with the swimming pool....that's what I'm afraid of, what if someone doesn't move your body and builds a subdivision over it??  

Yep.  The wife is on board, so to speak, and the boy will be trained as an archer.

Or you can do what we did with my dad.  He was cremated but we put him in two places.  My mom really just wanted to float his ashes out into the ocean in front of our beach house where my great uncle and my grandfather's ashes went (the house has been in the family for years.)  One of my brothers rally wanted to have a spot to go visit.  We split the ashes and buried some in a small box and put the rest in a special device made for sending ashes to sea and floated him out in front of the family beach house.

As my Norwegian grandfather used to say he never could get rid of Uncle Bill.  Every day with the tides it was, "God Dag Bill", "See you later Bill", "God Dag Bill".....

Hah - reminded me of my dad's idea for his funeral.  We were at his sister's wake and were trying to make some jokes to alleviate the sadness.  My dad said he wanted to have a contraption rigged up to his casket so that whenever someone walked up to look in at him he would be popped up waving his hand and a recording of him saying "God Dag!" would play.  Ah, Norwegian humor.

I do not like clowns....I would rather lay in a pit of snakes then deal with a clown.  We went to the circus and one came towards me, I told him to back off or I was going to have to explain to my daughter why mommy punched a clown.  

Like all good liberals, my family has strict instructions to not report my passing so they can continue to collect large government checks...and have me vote for at least five more election cycles.  

Seriously though, take the good parts to help folks out (Gift of Life organ donation) and don't waste time with a morbid funeral...have a party!  I'll leave instructions...don't worry, there won't be Twilight Zone-esque masks left behind to uglify good-for-nothin' family members.  Don't mourn death, celebrate life!  

one more thing...I had a relative die and I remember hearing stories of various relatives visiting her vacant house to vulture everything they could get their hands on.  I'd set strict rules for what's to be taken, and who gets it...if the rules aren't followed, the booby-traps will take care of that problem.  

ok, that made me laugh.  :-)