Weird Ride Sightings (Page 3)

Okay - so today at the gym she(?) is there again - this time wearing a different pair of high heeled dressy sandals.  Last time gold with sparkles, this time pastel purple.    Keep in mind we're talking about the WEIGHT area of the gym - a place where open toe shoes are just not a wise idea.   So it gets worse.  I go in the locker room and she is NAKED rubbing lotion all over her body.   IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE!!!!   I head out to the pool to do my swim and try to go to a happy mental place.   Head back to the locker room after the swim and there she is again in a thong.  How lovely.    I see her shoes lying on the floor and look at the label and they are FRIGGIN PRADA.   The woman(?) is wearing like $400 sandals to work out at the gym.  

Okay I'm resurrecting this one because yesterday on our long ride (so long I thought I might have been hallucinating), hubby and I spotted a man walking a donkey on a leash.  Just walking down the road with a donkey.... like one would walk a dog.

After a minute, I realized we missed the golden opportunity to yell at him, "Hey, nice @ss!". 

Somewhere near the end of the Bike Ride Across Georgia we came upon a small farm with 10-15 smallish cows tied around the neck to stakes in the ground. Each cow was staked in front of it's own giant "doghouse", all withing 50 feet of the road. No one else seemed to find that odd.

We also came across thousands of roadkill critters, each one adorned with a set of mardi gras beads.

LOL, they were cattle chained to doghouses, they were veal calves.  That is how they are raised.

While on the oliver 1/2 Iron, noticed a sign for a local winery. THE GOLDEN BEAVER!

I freakin near pissed myself!

Ok this one's good.

 I recently pasted by a farmer burning something in his field. As I got closer I noticed a very distinct smell! (kinda like being at a stone's concert) There was the farmer burning this huge pile of "stuff" while his son (I can only guess) sat crying on the ground.

Several months ago we saw a loose bull on the country roads after a storm. The fence got knocked down by a storm. It had humungous horns. There was no way I was going to Pampilona, baby.

A couple weeks ago on the same route I saw a black bear. As soon as it heard us chattering it started running. It was FAST!

A number of years ago I was riding along and spotted a VHS tape on the road.  For some reason I stopped to pick it up.  It was a porn video.  I ride a little further and find another one.  This goes on for about a mile, and I've picked up about 5 or 6 tapes, before I come across a pretty expensive radar detector.  OK, so I grab this too, now I'm 20 miles from home riding down the road one-handed with an armload of porn vids and the radar detector when suddenly from the other direction comes a guy on a motorcycle.  He spots me carrying all the loot, stops and tells me it all fell out of his backpack which was bungied to the seat behind him, but has popped open, spilling the contents.  I give him his stuff back.  In retrospect, I didn't know what I was going to do with it anyway, riding single handed like that, not being able to shift.  I shoulda stashed the stuff in the bushes before motorcycle guy came, then I could have returned later in the car to pick up my ill-gotten booty!

When you were a kid, didn't you ever sing the "Finders keepers, Losers weepers" song?  This would have been an ideal time to impose the widely-accepted children's law on ill-gotten booty. 

I live in a rural area; farmland/ranches. Today during my run, I get the sh#% scared out of me by a huge doberman, who luckily was behind a sturdy horse fence.  Then I turn a corner on to a highway frontage road, still shaking from the man-eating doberman, when I see a couple of chickens along the side of the road.  No big deal.  I've seen chickens before.  I live in the country.  I'm a country guy.  Then I see a rooster.  No big deal.  I've seen roosters before.  I live in the country.  I'm a country guy...   Well Mr. Country Guy passes the rooster.  And Mr. Rooster, who must've thought I was trying to take his chickens, gets angry and starts chasing Mr. "Country Guy"...  FAST....  I'm kinda laughing, at first.  And the rooster is sqawking like crazy, and gaining on me.  I pick up the pace, and start zig zagging in the road, trying to lose the rooster.  Did I say he was FAST?  Anyway, he stayed on my heals for about 1/8 mile, and I was sure he was going to peck the heck out of my calves, but he finally stopped and turned around.

You know, I think he was just tormenting me.  Because, I'm  pretty sure he could've caught me if he wanted.  I'm not sure if anyone saw what was happening, but there were probably a few drivers on the freeway wondering why some wacko was zig zagging down the frontage road like a madman.

brad 

Over by where I work, there is a huge retirement community and right next to it (and I mean like within 10 feet or so) is a cemetary.  Id hate to be the person who  gets the window view to the cemetary....."Ahh, nice day out today.  Oh look, the tombstones are sparkling in the morning sunlight!"