Funny gym sightings...

Not the funniest but most annoying.

 Posted 2006-04-25 10:41 PM (#406648 - in reply to #406228)

This has been done before, but its been a while. There are some funny things that people post.

I have to admit the guy that was in the pilates class I took a couple of weeks ago was pretty funny. Looked kinda like Napoleon Dynamite, had a headband, short cotton shorts, tucked in t-shirt, and socks pulled up, and he was really, really pale. He left the room for a bit and a girl took his machine (she didn't know it was his). When he came back he scolded her, and got the teacher to kick her off the machine. It was hard not to laugh...I had to look away.

I always used to enjoy the chicks who came to the gym in make-up, touched up the make-up before actually leaving the locker room, pretended to jog for 5 minutes, checked-their make-up, went to the drinking fountain, did 3 pec-flies with 1kg weights, went back to the drinking fountain, checked their make-up again, did 3 lat pull-downs, checked their make-up, stretched for 5 minutes, checked their make-up then vociferously announced that they were exhausted and headed for the showers. Of course, it's probably jealousy on my part, because during their performance I was doing a great impression of an exploding beetroot on the treadmill.

So, actually, this is probably my issue, not theirs!!

There was a guy at my old gym in Ft. Collins who pretty much did nothing but bicep curls in a million different variations... The funny thing was, he was perfectly silent; he'd never grunt, but he would go through soooo many facial expressions over the course of one rep. It was so funny. Like Jim Carrey imitating a musclehead or something. He'd contort his face around in ways that I didn't know were possible. It was like an o-face gone awry.

He was my favorite gym goer and I'd get really excited whenever he was there. Yey!!! Funny face guy!

Why you gotta dis' my workout like that?  Hater.

2 quick ones.  I used to go to the gym at opening 5:30 to get on the treadmills.  the normal crew was always there, on their assigned treadmills inc;uding the guy that wore the same thing every single day.  Same Shirt, same shorts, same compression shorts under, same headband, and same knee high white socks....

 Then there was heavy breathing guy on the bike.  Nuff said.  it really was hard to hear the music.

HA!  I had the same experience this morning!  I show up at the Y and go into the locker room to drop off my stuff before my workout.  Here's this guy (buff and in great shape so kudos there, but...) standing naked right in front of the mirror oiling himself up.  His eyes NEVER left the mirror.  He was so into himself it was hysterical.  I put my stuff in a locker a few aisles over and had to pass him on the way out again.  Still there... staring in the mirror... oiling up....

One more funny from today. 

There's this lady that strolls into the gym with a tank top (no midriff) and tight shorts.  First off she has no business showing off her midriff... its more a mid-drift since it wanders all around.  Anyway she hops on a treadmill and starts to run.  She has to be the most flat-footed person in the world.  Every step made a "slap."  Everyone was looking around trying to figure out if there was a broken machine or something.  It sounded like shoes in a dryer.  smack-smack-smack-smack

It was really annoying after 30 seconds.  Made me want to suggest a running class for her.

I shall address this as delicately as possible.  It applies to both men and ladies.  First the men:  dude, please don't wear spandex shorts or tights that are 2 sizes too small.  We all know that as one who has a Y chormosome, you have a phallus.  The rest of us do not need to see it's outline under your spandex in intricate detail.

Ladies, (applicable to the South Beach crowd) congratulations on your plastic surgery.  If your operating physician were present I would give him a high five.  However, there are plenty of therapists available with whom you can work out your very small self esteem.  You don't need to wear toddler sized sports bras to show off you $6000 boob job in order to garnish the attention that you were apparently lacking as a child.  The "if you got it, flaunt it" phase died in the 80's.  You and everyone else has gotten similar work.  For some of us men, we are more impressed with those who are proud of what god gave em to begin with.

 OK...flame off.

Ha!  There's one of these types at my gym, 'cept his spandex is white and...um, after he's been sweating profusely...well, between the tightness of his spendex and the sweat soaked condition of his spandex becomes nearly transparent and it's clearly rated XXX. 

Zilla, if you like men in tight spandex, check out these photo galleries.  Not for the weak stomached.....

http://www.spandexman.com/gallery/