Can men & women be friends? (Page 2)

Absolutely.  I've always had girls as friends and hopefully always will.  I often prefer female company and can honestly that I don't look on any of them in any other way than a good friend.  A few of my friends are models and great people to boot but I've found the person I want to be with and respect her and myself too much to throw it all away for a bit of slap and tickle.  Not to mention the fact I'm a Dad.

I'm lucky enough to be in the best marriage and I'm a pretty confident bloke anyway.

I don't need to look for what I might not be getting from home and I don't need my ego massaged by going out on the pull every now and then.

That said, I think this is a minority position and in the most cases you're right.

I can understand situations where the relationship may be more of a mentor or a big brother type situation where you have known each other for many, many years.

Are these the type of guys that would invite you on a wild Vegas binge without their spouses and PGCG (he's got me by an inch, btw)? Would your spouse and their spouses let you go, because your "just friends". Or does the freindship stay within the confines of a Sunday afternoon football game with the gang?

 Maybe we have different definitions on what qualifies someone as a friend. 

Personally, I have never had a guy tell me that he wants to meet this girl across the bar because he wants to be her friend.

**sniff**

I thought we were FRIENDS!!! It hurts Lane, it hurts. Did that subway cookie at mile 23 mean nothing to you???

On the surface...no I don't think they can just be friends...I think feelings get in the way.

However, I think there are conditions in which it can happen.  Most of them stem from the impetus of the relationship.  I am friends with a number of women that I met through work.  IMHO, the reason the friendship works is because I met them under those circumstances.  I never viewed them from the lenses of hook-up or dating potential.  I formed a professional relationship with them prior to being friends. 

Second, and this is not always the case, but men and women can coexist when one of them are in a relationship.  Yes, this is thin ice.  But I have found that my relationships with a number of women have strengthened when they began dating someone...or they get married.  Sometimes, strong emphasis there, they can co-exist.

The key is that I believe people surround themselves with others who look, think and act similiarly.  This means people surround themselves with people they are attracted to.  Lust is perfectly natural.  Developing feelings is a seperate issue.  Feelings can exist without action.

I have a number of female friends that i have some level of feelings toward.  But I would never act on them in order to preserve the friendship.  Then again, I have made out with or hooked up with nearly all of my female friends too...so I digress
 

Saying boys quietly/secretly want to have sex with girls does not preclude the possibility of having a friendship. Frankly, I'd be insulted if my male friends didn't think I'm hot. Of course, I'm hot! Of course they'd love to get their hands on me! But that's not the point.

The point is that, in spite of us all having normal, healthy sexual urges, we aren't obligated to act on it, nor are we at fault for having these urges. We can still see each other as human beings with whom we can bond and trust each other with our flaws and defects. We can trust each other with our wonderful vivacity. If we are trustworthy.

It's not about the gender. It's about the person. IMO. Which is the only one that counts. :D

Now I am offended.  And I was going to roady to hang out with you too!!!  I guess the question is answered.  We can not be friends with the opposite sex as women as soooooo unsensitive!!

I have to change my perspective...can two gay men be friends...for a long time my best friend tried to cross the line...and it did put a lot of pressure on our friendship...I have a rule about not "sleeping" with friends...well there are some exeptions to this, but that would get the thread yanked and lower my opinion rating on this site...I have also had quite a few straight guy friends that, I honestly started the friendship because they were hot...and I just wanted to look at them (knowing it would never go further)...funny thing is...once I got to know them...the sexual urge was replaced by a stonger bond of friendship and comraderie.  They were still fun to look at...but even if they offered (which only has happened once, darn it!) I decline...friendship is more important than a one night fling that may put stress on a good friendship.

wow...started babbling... maybe I should stop typing.

Yeah, I mean. I think you're hot. Yet I can still be your friend. Crazy!

Yes, but YOU are smokin-hot! And I can say that without ulterior motives. We don't have to sleep together if you don't want to.

Of course men and women can be friends. But when the other is an ex, chances are it won't work. Just my two cents. 

Again...I am not sure that men and women can coexist as simply friends.  To me, the bigger issue is how those feelings manifest themselves.  It is perfectly natural to have feelings for people that you are friends with.  

To me the key is honesty.  I previously dated two of my best female friends.  Do I still have feelings for them?  Sure.  And I am sure they both have feelings for me.  But I would NEVER act on them.  We had our chance and it didn't work out.  I don't keep either of them close in hopes of one day working things out.  We are also able to candidly discuss things.  I have become a sound board for both of them.  It doesn't bother me to see them date, meet guys, etc.  I want what is best for them and want to see them happy.  One of them recently got engaged.  I have met her fiance a number of times and couldn't be happier for her. 

I also agree with the belief that this burden falls on men more often than women.