Taboo Subject

Yes indeedy.  Has it ever been an issue - say with her so-called "peers?"

SweetK, I've encountered what you mention many times... yeah, I'm already talking about  the minority of men with enough self-confidence to get past that bit themselves.  The ones insecure about their "manhood"probably don't even count me as female!

An issue with her peers?  Not that I'm aware of.  No one has ever asked much about it.  But....I'm a highly entertaining person, and do well in group settings.  Her current coworkers always ask if I'm going to be meeting up with them all later when they go out for drinks.

Her parents weren't real thrilled about her marrying a bartender (at the time).  But that had nothing to do with money. 

Interesting.

Now I'm gonna have to go and ask my wife if I do enough around the house...... 

Exactly.  I purposely LEAVE OUT much of my life when I'm meeting new people -  I was raised by professors, have lived in Europe, went to Big Fancy Law School, and so on.  How many people feel like they can relate to that?

Exactly, not many... but I am one of the few.  My current best friend is a Salvadorean woman who works at a dry cleaner.  And has lived with me in my house for over two years.  For most of that time our third roommate was a girl from exactly the background you describe:  black, grew up in "housing," family members in legal trouble, constantly profiled at the grocery store.  (It was our gallows humor:  SWB = "shopping while black."  They stopped her no fewer than 3 times outside of our local grocery store to make sure she hadn't stolen anything.  That and booty jokes:  I'm a white girl who has one!)

I have a diverse group of close friends because I go to a diverse church that emphasizes relationships.  Our common faith & purpose become more important to use than the typical markers of class, race, and so on.  But it's easier to explain lower-"status" friends than boyfriends.

Thanks for being honest.

Oh, my first kiss was a Whitney, he was slumming it at a middle-class summer camp.    Of course at 12 I didn't know any difference until my mother nearly fell over when I told her about my new friend "____ Whitney, who lives in _____.  They have horses!"  

You cite your theoretical Miss Whitney's family as the barrier.  What if Miss Whitney didn't care?  Would you move forward with a relationship where the girl's family DIDN'T accept you, but she did? 

I agree with you on all of that.

My only thing is the white middle-class people hanging with the poor inner-city black people.  Here's another question along those lines:  How many middle class suburban black people hang out with poorer inner-city black people?  Probably not many there, either.  But that would be more of an opportunity thing.  I live in a poorer neighborhood, and it is predominantly black.  For the most part, everyone is fairly civil to each us, although occasionally we have run-ins with less than desirable people (local crackhead likes to stand outside our house and yell into the night).  We don't really hang out with anyone though.  No one really seems to hang out with anyone, except the kids. 

Okay, cool.  Notes to self:

* If it happens, make sure he's a neatnik.  Cleaning not being my strong suit, he'll be forced to pick up the slack! 

* Make sure we're both good communicators & can come to an understanding about everything important.

Both are good advice in general, actually.  Thanks all!

My best friend has a law degree and married someone with only a couple of semesters of college. She quit her very profitable job to be a SAHM and is just now going back a few hours a week.

It works for them. Her DH is very intelligent and they challenge each other's minds, but he just didn't go to college.

All of our friends, including us, come from the same socio-economic class as our spouses, although we are friends with some outside of our so called class.

I did date a guy in HS that came from a poor mill village type family. He had 2 brothers. The three boys are now a doctor, a dentist, and a CPA.

Interesting topic...