Why is it...

i'll give this a whirl...

it's normal to be nervous when you start dating someone and to worry about how it's going.  BUT, you can't spend your valuable time worrying that you have done/will do something to screw it up.  be yourself!!!  either she accepts you and your idiosyncrasies and you do the same with her or maybe you aren't meant for one another.  no one loves everything about their mate and a mistake/doing something wrong shouldn't be a deal breaker.  you're allowed to make mistakes!  i think the most important thing you can do is trust that you are the best man that you can be.  the fact that you even worry about it tells me that you have a leg up on a lot of men.  the other thing you need to remind youself of is that she's sticking around!  she wants to get to know you more so you must be doing something right!  i hope this helped...good luck!!! 

You've got a point - she hasn't bailed yet, so that's a good sign.

She also said that she'd rather see me complete my first tri on Monday (30 May) than be in Destin with a friend, even if I will be in lycra/spandex.

What freaks me out the most is that neither of us have been in a relationship for a long time.  She's happy with her job and her life, and started dating again just to make sure she could do it without thinking she'd actually find somebody she enjoys being with.  On Wednesday, when we last saw each other, she told me how much she enjoyed her life, how happy she was in all facets of it.  She then proceeded to tell me that I challenged her notion of what happiness could be.  Wow.  That made me feel good. 

We're both busy people and have decided to continue seeing each other, even if it means rearranging various parts of our busy lives.  I'm just worried (un-necessarily so, probably) that she'll decide she was happier with her sans-Steve because of something I did or that she'll be actively looking for an excuse to bail back into her very personalized niche of a life that she has. 

I guess I need to just let it go roll with whatever happens.  This is all probably just my INFJ Meyers-Briggs type rearing it's perfectionist head.

Thanks for  your response, Cristin.  I hope no one minds me rambling.

SR  

yeah.  she likes you!

independent women don't change their plans or challenge their notions unless they like you!  i must admit that spandex is a strike against a guy, but i'm sure you'll persevere!!    

so, good luck in your race on monday and with your girly girl!!

Yeah, at least I'm aware of the fact that most things running through my head are of the over-analytical nature.  It's just been an fairly long time since I've been around a woman whoose presence I truly enjoy that I'm working hard on not fu(^!ng it up.

The reality of the relationship thus far is that we both dig each other.  I think that's pretty cool.

SR

"...I'm working hard on not fu(^!ng it up..."

Just be yourself.  If you "work hard" at being someone else, eventually you will revert to your real self and that is when problems may occur. 

Maybe I should have been a bit more specific: I'm working on not fu(^!ng it up by limiting my over-analysis everything.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have an exceptional ability to second guess alot of what I do.  That's what I'm trying to limit.  I need to learn how to just roll with everything as it occurs and take everything in stride, rather than trying to figure out what I "should've said", what she "could've meant", etc.

Does that make sense?

SR

Five days after we both say we're looking forward to seeing each other again and after she spends a "weekend in hell" with some friends of hers, she tells me that dating shouldn't be so hard in the beginning.  She's tired of trying so hard and doesn't feel like the start of a relationship should be difficult.  With that, it's over.  Needless to say, I'm kind of bummed about it.

Dating sucks.  'Nuff said.

SR

That's it.....on the next race(s) I am taking my own marker and going to add an "S" just under the age group marking on the back of my leg.  Wonder if the race directors will mind???

I went old school and sent some flowers today.  I'll keep y'all posted as to how it goes.

I'm game for adding an S.

SR

Sent the flowers, they got delivered on Saturday, called last night (no return call), gave up. 

Went out for a ride today on the Silver Comet and started at a trailhead way out in the semi-boonies.  As I'm checking my bike getting ready to go, I hear "you've got to be kidding me".  It's her.  We chat, I say I couldn't give up so easy, she says no thanks.  I say take care and good luck, and split to go on my ride. 

Bummer. 

The best part was that I had a great ride.  Ended up pulling a dude behind me for several miles at around 21mph.  That's never happened before.  We swapped places a few times, but he just wasn't cruisin' at the speed I felt comfortable at, so I ended up just taking the lead for the final 7 miles. 

And now the search begins anew. 

SR