Feelin' stupid? I know I am!

I thought you were going to say you left a fork in the microwave. Done that before. Zap zap zow!

I thought he was going to tell us how sick he got after eating chicken left out all day.

remote in freezer

not sure that needs any more explanation than that.

Not even close.. been there and done that.

How about paying for food at the  first window of the drive through and driving right past the pickup window.. son giving me a quizzical look as we are about to leave the parking lot.

Yeah got mine last week in an OWS!  Dammit!

Forgot that I was hard boiling eggs on the stove...

FYI - eggs actually do explode if they've been on the stove for too long and the water has long since boiled away.  The fire department also comes due to the smoke alarm going off. 

OK I will play.

I was cleaning out the ash pan or our wood stove and I wound up dropping a bunch of ash on the floor.  My bright idea... clean it up with the vacuum cleaner, I mean it is just ash right.... Wrong!!! There were still live embers in the ash and I ended up setting the vacuum cleaner on fire.  I was not allowed to touch the vacuum cleaner for years after that.

My son and I were manning the Scouts' Christmas tree lot yesterday.   $5 a foot.  One customer came in and selected a nice big tree.

Me (measuring):  "OK, 10 feet, that'll be $60."

Customer: "I thought you said it was $5 a foot?"

Me:  "That's right.  $5 a foot, that'll be $60."

Customer:  "But it's 10 feet."

Me:  "That's right.  $5 a foot, 10 feet, that'll be.... oh geez"

This is a while back, but it's still funny. Was out running and some cute girls in a convertible beeped at me. I turned to smile and wave, and ran into a stop sign.

In the same vein, last year we had a lot of flooding on the MUP, and I tripped over a sandbag anchoring the sign while reading the warning about flooding.

This wasn't me but still funny...

I good friend bought a large watermelon and placed it, along with several other items, in the trunk of his car for a pool party in June. We never ate the watermelon and he left if in the trunk. After about a month of rolling around in the trunk, the dehydrated melon finally succumbed to the pressure and exploded.

The smell lasted for over three of the hottest months [July, August, September] where you HAD to have the windows down or else you couldn't breath.

P.S. I know I have done some stupid things. I tend to have a selective memory and block them out.

And you want us to believe you did not do this on purpose?

Next thing you are going to tell us is that you "forgot" you were boiling eggs and they exploded, and now you are not allowed in the kitchen...oh, wait....

These gals are geniuses!

Only once, and I didn't make it all 30 minutes to work before I remembered.  But, I have left the papers for a meeting on the dining room table and had to return to the house and get those also.

I've done the same thing as a gas station. I've gone inside, paid cash for gas, got in my car and drove away without filling up.

Ha!  After having the smoke detector go off for the SECOND time in a month... I'm definitely NOT allowed in the kitchen anymore.  However, I've gotten really good at dismantling said smoke detector in record time.   

I stopped at a gas station to fill my tank and the pump wasn't working. After turning it on and off a few times I decided I should go inside to ask if there was something wrong with it . When I turned towards the building I realized that it had burned down. I tried to fill my car at a gas station that had burned, literally, right to the ground and didn't even notice.

Yeah, I'm pretty good at this game.