Tuesday Funnies

> >A Husband's excuse for infidelity..................
> >
> >The wife comes home early & finds her husband in their master bedroom
> >making love to a beautiful, sexy young lady!
> >
> >"You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare you
> >do this to me, the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm
> >leaving this house, I want a divorce!"
> >
> >The husband, replies "Wait, Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least
> >listen to what happened"
> >
> >"Hmm, I don't know, well, it'll be the last thing I will hear from you.
> >But make it fast, you unfaithful pig, you!"
> >
> >The husband begins to tell his story . . . "While driving home this
> >young lady asked for a ride. I saw her so defenseless that I went
> >ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed that she was very thin, not
> >well dressed and very dirty!; She mentioned that she had not eaten
> >for 3 days.
> >
> >With great compassion I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas
> >that I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because you're
> >afraid you'll gain weight; the poor little thing practically devoured
> >them."
> >
> >"Since she was very dirty I asked if she wanted to take a shower. While
> >she was showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes
> >so I threw her clothes away. Since she needed clothes, I gave her the
> >pair of jeans that you have had for a few years, that you can no longer
> >wear because they are too tight on you, I also gave her the blouse that
> >I gave you on our anniversary and you don't wear because I don't have
> >good taste."
> >
> >
> >"I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you
>
> >will not wear just to bother my sister and I also gave her the boots
> >that you bought at the expensive boutique that you never wore again
> >after you saw your coworker wearing the same pair."
> >
> >The husband continues his story . . . . .
> >
> >"The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the door.
>
> >When we got to the door she turned around and with tears coming out of
> >her eyes, she asks me: "Sir, do you have anything else that your wife
> >doesn't use?"