How is this happening???

All of the hot, cool, tri chicks with boyfriends are too busy to hang out since they`re cross training with thier SO`s. Either that or their boyfriends get jealous when they see their girl looking at me in my speedo.

Just a theory.

You know, it's a personal observation after being in sports for 30 years that the divorce rate seems higher for athletically inclined people. For those of you that are divorced or have gotten divorced and perhaps have remarried:

1. Do you feel that involvement in sports was a major contribution to the breakup?

2. Was just one of you athletic while the other one couldn't care less about it?

3. Do you feel it's necessary for both partners to be involved in sports?

4. If #3 is "No" then how much support do you get/expect from him/her?

5. Do you both need to be at the same level of involvement/expertise?





Edited by max 2005-08-26 10:59 AM

From a review:

"Hacker's Two Nations focused on the growing racial divide in America. Here, he explores how men and women in America have also grown apart. He builds his argument from a wide range of statistics: divorce rates, age at marriage, male-female income ratios, homosexuality rates, sex ratios of college grads, numbers of people never married and so forth. Women, with more education and better earnings opportunities than in the past, have been marrying later than they used to. More confident and more demanding in their relationships with men, they're increasingly unwilling to "limit their ambitions to make life more congenial for men." Men, he says, have responded with their own sort of "liberation" movement, abandoning responsibility for supporting wives and children, and leaving them for younger, more compliant women. "


I don't entirely buy Hacker's thesis (that socioeconomic change that has given more opportunities to women makes formerly dominant men unwilling to enter into relationships), but it's interesting at the very least.

I have to agree max. I'll take the survey. My big breakup happened at the beginning of this year:

1. Yes
2. YES
3. Yes
4. no

Oh, for god's sake man, change the avatar! I'm begging you here!

maybe all the single BT people should move to the same town. I suggest somewhere in Florida. I hear real estate is cheap after a place gets hit by a hurricane We can live by Renee.

An honest answer, I think Max has it right Lane. I know it takes a certain motivated, patient, driven, goal-oriented man to keep up with me much less even get my attention. Thats why I'm single. I honestly am not going to waste my time with someone who isnt athletic in at least one sport I like. Meaning: I'm not going to date the guy who just plays softball once a week and considers watching baseball or football on tv liking sports. He has to participate.  He can be a runner or biker or something, but when I put myself "on the market" a tri guy is on the top of my list. ...wheewww....sorry everyone...

You are absolutely right!  I agree completely.  That is why I guess this question was always in my head, because of myself and the relationships that ended because of these same things and the fact that I am now being more selective, if you will, of who I date.  or it might just be that I am too picky!  But hey, why should we have to settle for the "best available"????  Then again, I may be 90 before I find "that girl" at this rate.

Edited to add:  But the point of this was to say that after getting to know some of you women here on BT (and seeing pics), I am completely amazed that any of you are single!  Then again, I better check that www.sheaspsychobitch.com website.....maybe I will find the answer there!  kidding of course.....I just think there are some severely ignorant guys in Atlanta, Augusta, Las Vegas, Birmingham, Florida, etc.........what are they thinking????

Edited by Cavu9 2005-08-26 11:26 AM

You know what?! I think when were all in our 70's-80's and were the only one in our age groups, we'll find love. I mean, at my last race there was an 82 year old man. SO CUTE!! He was just trotting along. I had so much respect for him.
Now imagine...80 years old. Single. You're doing your sprint tri, your 300th or something...you look across at the finish line and see a single little old lady, 75 or so, the only one in her age group....you look into her eyes....so sweet!!!  THEN, you'll know.

yeah baby!  younger women...now your talkin'! 

I like that, Haley! That's about when I'll be ready for another relationship.

That article quoted above nailed about half of it for me: successful women being unwilling to "limit their ambitions to make life more congenial for men." For me this includes spiritual life, community involvement, AND health/fitness, not just my career as a lawyer. Frankly about 99% of men just can't keep up with me, no matter how "fascinating" they may find me.

Then of course the other half of MY problem, personally, is that I'm totally, certifiably loony. That's enough to drive away the other 1%, at least so far. Guys either can't KEEP up or they can't PUT up with me, so to spare myself and potential victims, I've excused myself from the dating scene altogether. But I think this problem is less common among the general population.

I second that motion!  I think everyone can agree that you have the worst avatar!!

Edited by runnergirl28 2005-08-26 12:08 PM

I can tell you why it's happening to me in Augusta!  It's because the guys here aren't so active- there's not a huge market for triathletes.  So, for me, I am more athletic than most of the guys here, which is threatening to them.  They say they're athletic and then when they actually find out how much I log each week for trianing, they think I'm crazy and it's not cool because they can't do it.  The southern guys would rather have a stick thin girly- girl who doesn't like to sweat because that would mess up the hair and makeup.  All they want is some girl who will make a great "trophy wife" and look good wearing red and black hanging on their arm while tailgating at a GA footaball game.  I'm not trying to be mean- it's true.  Non-athletic Augusta guys don't appreciate natural beauty, muscles, and sweatty girls.  It's not that I'm a tom boy because I do clean up well.  I like to get manicures/pedicures, and pamper myself, get my hair highlighted, host pampered chef parties, and all that other girl stuff.  And...I have found that being active has a positive correlation to independce.  The guys in my town are very traditional, and in their eyes, independence is not a good thing.  Don't get me wrong- I am sure there are a few guys here who don't think that way, but from what I've experienced the most of them do!  I have learned that I definitley don't fit the mold of being the "typical" Augusta girl, thus I am still single.  Sorry for my ranting- I have to let it out every now and then.  I feel much better now- I'll get back to work!

Edited by runnergirl28 2005-08-26 12:25 PM

Ouch!  I am from the South and completely disagree with you!  Actually, I only disagree with you about myself, but you are probably dead on about the non-active southern guy comment.  I hate it, but it is probably true.  Too bad for them...they seem to be the ones missing out!

Maybe it is the red&black thing too!  I am a Tennessee guy!  How bout orange??? 

and for the record...athletic sweating women are hot!  oops, wrong thread...that should go in that confessions thread that never happened!

Edited by Cavu9 2005-08-26 12:30 PM

Who wants a girl that doesn't like to sweat?

I know plenty   I had one guy tell me that I was too active for him and had too much energy!  Like I said, I'm just talking to the wrong guys!

Well, you're here, so you must be a triathlete, so the looney bit is just assumed . . .

I know guys who don't like to sweat themselves!

I'm kind of like runnergirl28, to a further extend.  I don't do the girl-stuffs    But I guess I'm lucky to have a semi-couch-potato BF who is quite supportive. 

I think people are single for two reasons:

They want to be and

They have to be

A lot of people say they're in the former but really are in the latter. They're not mature, selfless or committed enough to be with anyone else much less be married.

It doesn't surprise me that many women on B.T.com are single (not for the reasons stated above) but more for the reasons Hacker speaks about - upwardly mobile women making more money than most men etc, the higher up the pyramid the more difficult it is to find a single guy and one that's not intimidated by you. Look at Oprah.(Yeah, yeah there's Steadman but c'mon isn't he just a paper tiger?) I know as an African-American woman trying to find a black man that is:

a. post-secondary educated, b., makes more enough money , c., isn't intimidated by my a and b is difficult. Because if he does have a and b the competition is so fierce among black women that I don't even try. Not that I would try anyway. My friends yell at me about that. I complain that I don't score touchdowns but yet I spend most of my time out of the game - triathlon, writing, working, training, racing, REI etc.

So when you lop off like 2/3 of eligible prospects  to marriage, jail/penal-realtaed, and intimidation factor etc., what do you have.

A woman that's in category A of single. I have opened up myself to rainbow dating (dating outside my race) more choices but I don't know. I guess I'm just weary. So I don't date, I train and then I think the universe will plop Mr. Right in my lap and all will be good. No worries.

Edited by infosteward 2005-08-26 6:04 PM

I got into triathlons after my marriage ended.  That said:

1 - No
2 - yes - As in, I was active and wanted to do active things, and he defined the notion of couch potato.  This was a problem.
3 - No, if you mean competitive sports, but yes if you mean both partners should be active.  At something.
4 - Well, now -a lot.  I would support him, and I would expect he would support me (when I do find another relationship) otherwise, what's the point?
5 - No.

I think in the triathlon scene it's hard to meet people.  I mean, there might be (and probably are) tons of single guys, but it's hard to meet/flirt when all you're thinking about at that moment is training/racing.  It's not a venue that lends itself to sitting, chatting and getting to know someone, let alone the all important phone number exchange.  And if you use the excuse "I'd really like a training partner" then the first thing he's thinking is "She probably is too slow to train with me."

I usually meet men to date on the internet, or just randomly.  I used to go to bars a lot, and I met a lot of guys, but the problem with that is, you meet guys who like to hang out in bars (which is so not my scene.)

Hmmm... maybe someone should put on a "singles only" triathlon - with a BBQ afterwards?

I want to know what that black line is in the back ground?  Is that a mannequin with an extra rod to support it?  An electric cord?  A gap in the fabric of the universe?

But seriously, cut the guy some slack.  It's a whole 'nother world over there in Japan. 

Yeah, for all you know, he could be a hero in Japan...sort of like a Hooters girl.

Ladies, after reading the various post on this thread, I have something to say. So if I may please have your attention:

Some of us men dig sweaty women who can look hot in anything they wear, that are better educated, make more money then us, that are independent, self confident, know what they want out of life and who wont settle for less.

Thank you, that will be all.

Bravo...well said!  I mean that is what is attractive right?....a woman that is sexy even when sweaty, who cares how much money she makes, even if it is more, has to be independent and is determined toward her goals in life!!! 

DINGDINGDINGDING WE HAVE A WINNER . . .