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2005-12-06 10:04 AM

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The Original
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Subject: Date Update

Ok ya'll- here's an update since a few of you have been asking.  I went out with the guy on Friday and Saturday night.  I like his company and enjoy hanging out with him.  He treats me like a lady- opens all the doors for me (car doors and all) and pushes my chair in for me.  He even gave me a box of my favorite type of Cliff Bars.  It's good.  We get along great.  No issues there.  There's obvious chemistry.  We share the same interests.  Only I got a few red flags the other night. 

For one, he is very impatient and lets little things get to him.  When I ask him how his run was, he say "it sucked!  There were people everywhere and they kept getting in my way.  Or when I ask him how his swim was, he'll tell me how nasty the pool is, and rant on how those young kids working there need to get off their butts and clean it.  I am a pretty patient person and like to be positive and see the glass as half full all the time, not half empty.

Another thing- he doesn't really make me laugh- we don't have the same sense of humor.  For example, don't know if ya'll read the "Mr. Softie" thread, but IMO it was pretty funny.  Anyways, I saved the tag from my Mr. Softie seat cover because I thought it was darn funny.  I had that laying on my counter, and he saw it and asked what it was.  When I explained it to him, he didn't get it- at all.  Now mind you, this guy bikes so it's not like he'c ompletely out of loop.  I was surprised he didn't get the joke, and when I asked him if he thought it was funny he said no.  He didn't get why I thought it was funny that a seat cover was called "Mr. Softie."  I'm planning on giving him some more time, but if we don't have the same sense of humor I don't know if it'll work out.  I want to be with someone who makes me laugh, and vice versa. 

So there you have it- there's my update.  Details to follow.



2005-12-06 10:12 AM
in reply to: #299933

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Date Update
runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 9:04 AM

So there you have it- there's my update.  Details to follow.



Not if Jim has anything to say about it with some inappropriate comments that get the thread shut down.

Oh, and sorry to hear about that by the way. It's always a bummer when something starts off so nice and then a bump like that jumps up at you.

bts
2005-12-06 10:16 AM
in reply to: #299933

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The Original
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Subject: RE: Date Update
I often wonder- am I being too picky and not cutting the guy enough slack?  Am I just "looking" for something wrong so I can cut him off?  I mean how do I know what to tolerate and what not to tolerate.  Nobody is perfect (we all have our own faults) so I have to keep reminding myself that.
2005-12-06 10:18 AM
in reply to: #299933

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Date Update
My opinion:  The points you bring up regarding difference in humer and attitude are major.  If they bother you now they will only magnify with each encounter with him.
2005-12-06 10:19 AM
in reply to: #299962

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Date Update

runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:16 AM I often wonder- am I being too picky and not cutting the guy enough slack?  Am I just "looking" for something wrong so I can cut him off?  I mean how do I know what to tolerate and what not to tolerate.  Nobody is perfect (we all have our own faults) so I have to keep reminding myself that.

What does your intuition tell you? 

2005-12-06 10:20 AM
in reply to: #299933

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Pro
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Subject: RE: Date Update
Can him.. You need to have someone w/ a sense of humor in your life... You would be miserable otherwise.


2005-12-06 10:22 AM
in reply to: #299968

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The Original
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Subject: RE: Date Update

oipolloi - 2005-12-06 11:18 AM My opinion:  The points you bring up regarding difference in humer and attitude are major.  If they bother you now they will only magnify with each encounter with him.

I just keep thinking....ok so that was one bad joke he didn't think was funny.  But that pretty much reflects my sense of humor.  If he was around me enough he would realize that I'm a big dork.  I don't see him appreciating my dorkiness.  He's a little more serious than me,  Which can be good, but I want a guy who can be dorky sometimes.  Ill give it more time.  Maybe I'll throw out a dorky comment or do something dorky and see his reaction.  I don't think he would think it was funny if he knew I was infatuated with burritos.  That's something I can hide for much longer

2005-12-06 10:22 AM
in reply to: #299933

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Queen BTich
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Subject: RE: Date Update

Ok, I am going to repeat what I said last night just for the sake of everyone else's opinion.

The Mr. Softie joke was between you and Jim and BT. So what if he doesn't get it? Not everyone gets the same things as everyone else and not everyone thinks the same things are funny. Instead of repeating to him "you don't get it? really?" you should have explained it to him and given him a chance to think it was funny. Don't know why you were embarrased to tell him the joke, the only reason I can see is because it was a penis reference and since you're not having a physical relationship with him, that would have been uncomfortable...anyway, I don't think because he said it reminded him of ice cream that you should knock him for it since you didn't offer any explanation.

I think you're too picky and your standards are a little to high (about little things, not important things) and not everyone is perfect.

2005-12-06 10:24 AM
in reply to: #299970

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The Original
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Subject: RE: Date Update
oipolloi - 2005-12-06 11:19 AM

runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:16 AM I often wonder- am I being too picky and not cutting the guy enough slack?  Am I just "looking" for something wrong so I can cut him off?  I mean how do I know what to tolerate and what not to tolerate.  Nobody is perfect (we all have our own faults) so I have to keep reminding myself that.

What does your intuition tell you? 

Intuition tells me no.  But then I don't want it be weird if I see him at the pool or gym.  I guess it's bad because I do enjoy spending time with him.  But...that's just it.  I enjoy spending time with him, but can't really see him being my boyfriend or anything.  I guess I know what I need to do, I just don't want to do it.  Maybe I can just do a few things like in that movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days"- he,he!

2005-12-06 10:25 AM
in reply to: #299968

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Subject: RE: Date Update
oipolloi - 2005-12-06 9:18 AM

My opinion:  The points you bring up regarding difference in humer and attitude are major.  If they bother you now they will only magnify with each encounter with him.


Big time it agreement with Mike here. Think about it, the rest of your life listening to someone gripe about stuff that doesn't bother you? Or looking at you with a blank stare while you're telling a story that's so funny to you that you're choking back tears?

Different food preferences, sure. Different movie tastes, fine. But being unable to relate on that kind of personal level is a killer.

When you find the right guy you'll know... everyone else is just pointing you on down the road towards him (with thanks to Rascal Flats).

bts

Edited by Brett 2005-12-06 10:25 AM
2005-12-06 10:25 AM
in reply to: #299975

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The Original
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Subject: RE: Date Update
TriComet - 2005-12-06 11:22 AM

Ok, I am going to repeat what I said last night just for the sake of everyone else's opinion.

The Mr. Softie joke was between you and Jim and BT. So what if he doesn't get it? Not everyone gets the same things as everyone else and not everyone thinks the same things are funny. Instead of repeating to him "you don't get it? really?" you should have explained it to him and given him a chance to think it was funny. Don't know why you were embarrased to tell him the joke, the only reason I can see is because it was a penis reference and since you're not having a physical relationship with him, that would have been uncomfortable...anyway, I don't think because he said it reminded him of ice cream that you should knock him for it since you didn't offer any explanation.

I think you're too picky and your standards are a little to high (about little things, not important things) and not everyone is perfect.

But Comet- I didn explain it.  He flat out didn't think that was funny. He said that it reminded him of soft served icecream which isn't funny at all.  He said that he didn't find anything seually humorous about it being called "Mr. Softie."  Even if he's not a BT'er, I would think that most guys would get it.  I think...



2005-12-06 10:28 AM
in reply to: #299979

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Date Update
runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:24 AM
oipolloi - 2005-12-06 11:19 AM

runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:16 AM I often wonder- am I being too picky and not cutting the guy enough slack?  Am I just "looking" for something wrong so I can cut him off?  I mean how do I know what to tolerate and what not to tolerate.  Nobody is perfect (we all have our own faults) so I have to keep reminding myself that.

What does your intuition tell you? 

Intuition tells me no.  But then I don't want it be weird if I see him at the pool or gym.  I guess it's bad because I do enjoy spending time with him.  But...that's just it.  I enjoy spending time with him, but can't really see him being my boyfriend or anything.  I guess I know what I need to do, I just don't want to do it.  Maybe I can just do a few things like in that movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days"- he,he!

Or maybe just try running a 10K with him.  See how his attitude is WHILE his mind of off of trying to look or be cool.  Sometimes guys get a little "hemmed up" when around new girlfriends.  Maybe he was a little nervous around you and wasn't himself.  Exersize is the best wasy to lose all those personality querks.

2005-12-06 10:30 AM
in reply to: #299986

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The Original
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Subject: RE: Date Update
oipolloi - 2005-12-06 11:28 AM
runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:24 AM
oipolloi - 2005-12-06 11:19 AM

runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:16 AM I often wonder- am I being too picky and not cutting the guy enough slack?  Am I just "looking" for something wrong so I can cut him off?  I mean how do I know what to tolerate and what not to tolerate.  Nobody is perfect (we all have our own faults) so I have to keep reminding myself that.

What does your intuition tell you? 

Intuition tells me no.  But then I don't want it be weird if I see him at the pool or gym.  I guess it's bad because I do enjoy spending time with him.  But...that's just it.  I enjoy spending time with him, but can't really see him being my boyfriend or anything.  I guess I know what I need to do, I just don't want to do it.  Maybe I can just do a few things like in that movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days"- he,he!

Or maybe just try running a 10K with him.  See how his attitude is WHILE his mind of off of trying to look or be cool.  Sometimes guys get a little "hemmed up" when around new girlfriends.  Maybe he was a little nervous around you and wasn't himself.  Exersize is the best wasy to lose all those personality querks.

We're going running tonight so I'll see. 

2005-12-06 10:33 AM
in reply to: #299994

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Date Update
runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:30 AM
oipolloi - 2005-12-06 11:28 AM
runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:24 AM
oipolloi - 2005-12-06 11:19 AM

runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:16 AM I often wonder- am I being too picky and not cutting the guy enough slack?  Am I just "looking" for something wrong so I can cut him off?  I mean how do I know what to tolerate and what not to tolerate.  Nobody is perfect (we all have our own faults) so I have to keep reminding myself that.

What does your intuition tell you? 

Intuition tells me no.  But then I don't want it be weird if I see him at the pool or gym.  I guess it's bad because I do enjoy spending time with him.  But...that's just it.  I enjoy spending time with him, but can't really see him being my boyfriend or anything.  I guess I know what I need to do, I just don't want to do it.  Maybe I can just do a few things like in that movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days"- he,he!

Or maybe just try running a 10K with him.  See how his attitude is WHILE his mind of off of trying to look or be cool.  Sometimes guys get a little "hemmed up" when around new girlfriends.  Maybe he was a little nervous around you and wasn't himself.  Exersize is the best wasy to lose all those personality querks.

We're going running tonight so I'll see. 

Push the pace hard and see how he reacts.  If he sprints ahead and laughs at you because he's winning, then end it.  If he let's you win and comments on how fit you are, then maybe give him another chance.

2005-12-06 10:37 AM
in reply to: #299954

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Giver
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Subject: RE: Date Update
Brett - 2005-12-06 10:12 AM Not if Jim has anything to say about it with some inappropriate comments that get the thread shut down.


Well...someone's gonna ask about spooning and kissing eventually, so it might as well be me.

BUt that's not inappropriate.


2005-12-06 10:48 AM
in reply to: #299999

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The Original
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Subject: RE: Date Update
oipolloi - 2005-12-06 11:33 AM
runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:30 AM
oipolloi - 2005-12-06 11:28 AM
runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:24 AM
oipolloi - 2005-12-06 11:19 AM

runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:16 AM I often wonder- am I being too picky and not cutting the guy enough slack?  Am I just "looking" for something wrong so I can cut him off?  I mean how do I know what to tolerate and what not to tolerate.  Nobody is perfect (we all have our own faults) so I have to keep reminding myself that.

What does your intuition tell you? 

Intuition tells me no.  But then I don't want it be weird if I see him at the pool or gym.  I guess it's bad because I do enjoy spending time with him.  But...that's just it.  I enjoy spending time with him, but can't really see him being my boyfriend or anything.  I guess I know what I need to do, I just don't want to do it.  Maybe I can just do a few things like in that movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days"- he,he!

Or maybe just try running a 10K with him.  See how his attitude is WHILE his mind of off of trying to look or be cool.  Sometimes guys get a little "hemmed up" when around new girlfriends.  Maybe he was a little nervous around you and wasn't himself.  Exersize is the best wasy to lose all those personality querks.

We're going running tonight so I'll see. 

Push the pace hard and see how he reacts.  If he sprints ahead and laughs at you because he's winning, then end it.  If he let's you win and comments on how fit you are, then maybe give him another chance.

He's definitely faster than me and we both know it.  One cool thing is that he never brags about how fit he is.  He likes the fact that I'm athletic and work out all the time.  I'll try picking up the pace and see if he lets me win



2005-12-06 10:48 AM
in reply to: #300005

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The Original
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Subject: RE: Date Update

run4yrlif - 2005-12-06 11:37 AM
Brett - 2005-12-06 10:12 AM Not if Jim has anything to say about it with some inappropriate comments that get the thread shut down.


Well...someone's gonna ask about spooning and kissing eventually, so it might as well be me.

BUt that's not inappropriate.


If you would have gone to the pool last night and swam you could hvae asked him then- ha,ha!

2005-12-06 10:56 AM
in reply to: #300023

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Giver
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Subject: RE: Date Update
runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 10:48 AM

If you would have gone to the pool last night and swam you could hvae asked him then- ha,ha!



I could see asking him that, esp. in the context that he doesn't know who the hell I am, or that I even know you.

Hey buddy...do any spooning this weekend?"

Reminds me of a story.

A guy moves into a new house and is unpacking when there's a knock at his door. He answers it to find one of his new neighbors welcoming him and inviting him to a party.

"A party? Sure sounds great."

The neighbor says "There's gonna be music, so I hope you like music."

"I love music," the new guys says.

"There's also gonna be some dancing"

"I'm a great dancer."

"There's gonna be some drinkin', too."

"That's cool. I like a drink once in a while."

"And there may be some drugs..."

"Well, I don't do drugs, but I don't mind if others..."

"And, if it gets really wild, there may be some sex."

A little nervously, the new guy says "well, I like sex as much as the next guy..."

"Great! See you at 8 then," the neighbor says.

As the guy's leaving his doorstep, the new guy thinks and asks "Oh...what should I wear?"

"Whatever you want, it's just gonna be the two of us."
2005-12-06 11:02 AM
in reply to: #299933

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Master
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Subject: RE: Date Update

Hee heeee.

heh.

2005-12-06 11:03 AM
in reply to: #299933

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The Original
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Subject: RE: Date Update
BTW- he doesn't think an M Dot tat is very cool   Tatoos came up in one of our conversations.
2005-12-06 11:04 AM
in reply to: #300052

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Giver
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Subject: RE: Date Update
runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 11:03 AMBTW- he doesn't think an M Dot tat is very cool Tatoos came up in one of our conversations.


What'd he say about tats in general?


2005-12-06 11:06 AM
in reply to: #299933

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Champion
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Subject: RE: Date Update
Are you seriously making personal decisions based on BT'ers interpretations of your interpretations of some poor guy's behavior?
2005-12-06 11:06 AM
in reply to: #300054

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The Original
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Subject: RE: Date Update

run4yrlif - 2005-12-06 12:04 PM
runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 11:03 AMBTW- he doesn't think an M Dot tat is very cool Tatoos came up in one of our conversations.


What'd he say about tats in general?

He doesn't like them at all.  I told him the only tat I would ever get is an M Dot tat after IM FL.  And he flat out said "Don't get a tatoo.  I don't think it would look good at all."

2005-12-06 11:06 AM
in reply to: #300056

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The Original
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Subject: RE: Date Update

possum - 2005-12-06 12:06 PM Are you seriously making personal decisions based on BT'ers interpretations of your interpretations of some poor guy's behavior?

No- it's just lame discussion.  Way to kill time.  I can make decisions for myself.

2005-12-06 11:10 AM
in reply to: #300058

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Giver
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Subject: RE: Date Update
runnergirl29 - 2005-12-06 11:06 AM

possum - 2005-12-06 12:06 PM Are you seriously making personal decisions based on BT'ers interpretations of your interpretations of some poor guy's behavior?

No- it's just lame discussion. Way to kill time. I can make decisions for myself.



Janelle...you're proving the llama boy's point.

And if you tell people that your posting threads looking for relationship advice when you don't actually want any and in fact have already made your mind up, thereby causing your fellow BTers to waste their time responding to a pointless thread, then...wow.


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