Can I gripe for just one freakin second.

Brandy...meet your HR department. HR...Brandy.

Seriously...don't for a second put up with that crap. Talk to someone. 

1. Oh, I hear ya. I'm a youngun in my office too. No, I don't want to tell you about my bday, because then you make a big deal about being 10-15 years older than me. SO ANNOYING.

2. Throw it back at em, sarcastically.  After they ask you to do something or for help or whatever and use a term of endearment, answer with the SAME term of endearment. That should nip that in the bud.  Worked for me. The only person allowed to call me honey is my husband. the only person allowed to call me by my nickname is my parents, no exceptions.

I do, I correct them on the spot in a very stern voice and serious mean glaring eyes. It's just annoying.

If you ask them to cut it out, and they don't, they should get their hats handed to them. It's harrassment and it's illegal.

If they don't cut it out, and if your HR people don't do anything about it, find an attorney.

Sorry...but I hate this crap. 

Yeah, I've told myself that if they do it again after a second warning I will report them. No one has yet to cross me. It's just what is it about my look that makes people want to be nice to me? I'm not a nice person, I am strictly business. Period.

It's mostly the older women that work for me though. And I know I am in the south and that is just apart of how they were raised, but I am your supervisor, I am NOT your friend, show me a little respect.

speedball - 2005-12-16 12:32 PM OK so you have been there 7.5 years...23 minus 7.5 is 15.5. What kind of business is this and how did you get started at 15? Sweetie.

Well my birthday is in a few weeks, I'll be 24, I started at 16, and I work at the bank that Capital One just bought from Louisiana - Hibernia.

What's your nickname??? 

I bet it's pebbles.

Bettylou you seem to know my exact dilema. I seem to have no problem telling the men to call me by my name, but it's the women, that I know they are saying harmless words. It just feels like when people use those words it is lowering me.  I don't know.

Oh my! that's the best!

Brandy,

Take a deep breath and try to step away from the problem for a moment. See it from the point of view of How to be an Effective Manager versus a personal attack on you.

Demanding that someone else communicate with you on your terms is folly. Trying to demand respect is folly. No one is going to give you respect unless they feel respect for you.

Try to give them a little latitude. Adopt a sense of humor. Be less brittle. If they call you Sweetie, reply with "Babydoll" or "Sugarcakes." Be friendly. Being friendly, even if especially when someone is trying to push your buttons, is a simple way to gain an advantage. When you are looser and more at ease, you have the advantage. Being uptight and easily provoked gives them the advantage.

A good manager relates to many different types of personality. Their subordinates happily comply with their direction/work orders. A rigid manager demands that everyone relate to her (or him) on her own terms; this manager is often ridiculed, ignored and undermined. Which manager do you want to be? An effective manager or an ineffective manager?