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Friday Funny
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 2006-02-17 7:34 AM |
Elite  2673     Muskego, WI |  Subject: Friday FunnyTHESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE BUT ... THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE: Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pissed. I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you are not. I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies! My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? My feelings for you no words can tell Except for maybe "Go To Hell". What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime |
 2006-02-17 8:27 AM in reply to: #348067 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-02-17 8:28 AM in reply to: #348067 |
Queen BTich 12411 , | Subject: RE: Friday Funny |
| 2006-02-17 8:54 AM in reply to: #348067 |
| Elite 2673 Muskego, WI | Subject: RE: Friday Funny Yep, those first two are most certainly the winners. |
| 2006-02-17 8:58 AM in reply to: #348067 |
| Crystal Lake, IL | Subject: RE: Friday Funny A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unphased, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the! stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more. "I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any" "But I always buy it here," says the blonde "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.. "YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant" Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container......... " TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM " |
| 2006-02-17 8:58 AM in reply to: #348067 |
| COURT JESTER 12230 ROCKFORD, IL | Subject: RE: Friday Funny morey1 - 2006-02-17 6:34 AM I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother. If you can't keep it in your pant, at least keep it in the family. |
| 2006-02-17 9:00 AM in reply to: #348067 |
| COURT JESTER 12230 ROCKFORD, IL | Subject: RE: Friday Funny (Robe.jpg) (Married.jpg) Attachments ---------------- Robe.jpg (18KB - 6 downloads) Married.jpg (71KB - 7 downloads) |
| 2006-02-17 9:24 AM in reply to: #348067 |
| Elite 2673 Muskego, WI | Subject: RE: Friday Funny Can I pick up a copy of that magazine somewhere? Those headlines really looked interesting.  |
| 2006-02-17 9:42 AM in reply to: #348067 |
Resident Curmudgeon 25290 The Road Back Gold member | Subject: RE: Friday Funny There should be an article on "How to Convince Her That You Need a Tri-bike" for some of the wimpier posters here. |
| 2006-02-17 9:47 AM in reply to: #348199 |
| Elite 2673 Muskego, WI | Subject: RE: Friday Funny the bear - 2006-02-17 9:42 AM There should be an article on "How to Convince Her That You Need a Tri-bike" for some of the wimpier posters here. ...psst...can you write that article for my wimpy friends? I, OF COURSE, do not have that problem, nosiree. But they'd be very interested. Give it to me to pass along after you write it though...just to make sure you didn't miss anything. |
| 2006-02-17 9:55 AM in reply to: #348067 |
| Master 4101 Denver | Subject: RE: Friday Funny Wise sayings: *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run in front of car get tired. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run behind car get exhausted. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with one chopstick go hungry. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who scratch *** should not bite fingernails. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who fart in church sit in own pew. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Crowded elevator smell different to midget. |
| 2006-02-17 9:56 AM in reply to: #348199 |
| Queen BTich 12411 , | Subject: RE: Friday Funny the bear - 2006-02-17 10:42 AM There should be an article on "How to Convince Her That You Need a Tri-bike" for some of the wimpier posters here. No sh*t. They should get the bike anyway, buy the wife something she'll like, and if she's still mad just think of how fast you can ride away from her... |
| 2006-02-17 10:01 AM in reply to: #348067 |
| Queen BTich 12411 , | Subject: RE: Friday Funny |
| 2006-02-17 10:36 AM in reply to: #348067 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-02-17 10:45 AM in reply to: #348215 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-02-17 10:51 AM in reply to: #348250 |
| Resident Curmudgeon 25290 The Road Back Gold member | Subject: RE: Friday Funny oneword - 2006-02-17 10:45 AM TriComet - 2006-02-17 9:56 AM the bear - 2006-02-17 10:42 AM There should be an article on "How to Convince Her That You Need a Tri-bike" for some of the wimpier posters here. No sh*t. They should get the bike anyway, buy the wife something she'll like, and if she's still mad just think of how fast you can ride away from her... What if the SU (Spousal Unit) is a hot buff tri chick and she catches you and kicks your @ss? Then you're too wimpy even for the magazine. |
| 2006-02-17 10:56 AM in reply to: #348256 |
| Crystal Lake, IL | Subject: RE: Friday Funny the bear - 2006-02-17 10:51 AM oneword - 2006-02-17 10:45 AM TriComet - 2006-02-17 9:56 AM the bear - 2006-02-17 10:42 AM There should be an article on "How to Convince Her That You Need a Tri-bike" for some of the wimpier posters here. No sh*t. They should get the bike anyway, buy the wife something she'll like, and if she's still mad just think of how fast you can ride away from her... What if the SU (Spousal Unit) is a hot buff tri chick and she catches you and kicks your @ss? Then you're too wimpy even for the magazine. I say just enjoy the pounding.
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| 2006-02-17 10:57 AM in reply to: #348256 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-02-17 11:02 AM in reply to: #348250 |
| Elite 2706 Hurst, Texas | Subject: RE: Friday Funny "What if the SU (Spousal Unit) is a hot buff tri chick and she catches you and kicks your @ss?" Then you are married to Desiree Ficker and life is good! Edited by OldAg92 2006-02-17 11:02 AM |
| 2006-02-17 11:04 AM in reply to: #348263 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-02-17 11:13 AM in reply to: #348067 |
| Elite 2706 Hurst, Texas | Subject: RE: Friday Funny |
| 2006-02-17 11:15 AM in reply to: #348271 |
| Subject: ... This user's post has been ignored. |
| 2006-02-17 11:23 AM in reply to: #348067 |
| Elite 2706 Hurst, Texas | Subject: RE: Friday Funny I'm still a Desiree fan, but this is for you. Happy Friday! (jessi-1a.jpg) Attachments ---------------- jessi-1a.jpg (69KB - 3 downloads) |
| 2006-02-17 12:08 PM in reply to: #348067 |
| Queen BTich 12411 , | Subject: RE: Friday Funny Brandt, why do you keep posting pictures of me?! |
| 2006-02-17 12:28 PM in reply to: #348332 |
| Champion 5615 | Subject: RE: Friday Funny TriComet - 2006-02-17 1:08 PM Brandt, why do you keep posting pictures of me?! If that's you, we are going to *demand* that he post those "special" pictures too. |
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