Has BT become "Really not funny" -- Comet conversation

I agree. I have had the moderators contact me about a particular phrase or thread as being slightly out of line, or to tone it down, but I understand that I was pushing it at those times too, even though I think I am still pretty funny.

My point in agreement is that I notice if a person replies to a topic in a manner that might be more caustic, less eloquent, or maybe even harmless, you see a host of people jump on to flame. If we have to be thoughtful about everything we say out of fear of "offending" someone, then we all should not talk. I understand watching phrasing for decency standards, but there is too much of a sppech police thing here that is less imposed by marma and ron and more by people who look for an opportunity to pounce. If you can't stand the jabs, get out of the ring and go to another thread.

I agree with both parties.  There is always some good hearted ripping going on in here.  But I doubt anyone does it to be mean or hateful.  Sometimes you just need to take it and suck it up.  If you think its getting old then speak up and say something and hopefully, we are all adults.

On the otherhand, I was doing some posting last night and in several different threads say the same reference to Comet and porn.  Now come on, that just gets old.  If there is a thread talking about it, thats one thing, but to bring it up in every other thread on COJ, in the same night.

I agree with you-to a point. However, I wrote that post after thinking about this that was written about me:

I find it very offensive and it was not the first time something like this has been joked about. I realize it was a joke however, it has gone too far.

I stood up for myself. I wasn't even in the 'ring' as you call it but got jabbed anyway. I had not posted on that thread. I don't even read every thread so it made me think what else has been said that I have not caught. A host of people didn't come to my defense either.

So, if I follow your suggestion of getting out of the ring, that would be COJ or BT completely.

Yall have jumped on Tyrant for bringing this to everyones attention. You guys are being like the class bullies here for the responses.  Its inconsiderate when someone is genuinely offended.

Here, like on any other forum on the web, it's awfully difficult sometimes to convey sarcasm with written words.  What might fly as good natured ribbing in face to face conversation is often taken the wrong way in text.  When in doubt, it's probably better to err on the conservative side.

Hmmm...I seem to have missed the original post which started that.  Like Comet says, we don't all read every post of every thread.  I do agree though that any light-hearted ribbing ought to take place in a thread where both parties are able to see the comments.

I really can't say it much better than Max did, but I will say that you know if I thought you were geniunely being attacked and were offended by it, I would be at the front of the line to defend you. 

It's incredibly hard to convey emotions with written words at times, especially on a forum where we joke around so much.

Exactly.

Thanks Chris.

This post is not specifically about Comet, but the ladies (tri-goddesses, hoss chicks, etc.) in general.

Seems to me triathlon/multisport has a high percentage of women involved compared to other sports.  Seems to me like that's a good thing.  Seems to me like we'd have to be complete jacka$$es to screw that up and chase them off by offending them.

Just sayin' that's what it seems like to me.

Tyrant - as far as your issue goes, I've winced a few times at some of the stinging posts sent your way but that's a tough call because you seem to give as good as you get and even sometimes egg it on a little.  I hope you'll keep posting because I think you're pretty funny. 

I don't think I was being "attacked." I think the one post on its own was meant as a joke. However, its being said over and over again. I am offended, thats it.

Again, how would you feel if these SAME jokes were being made about Laurie? Over and over again?

If people are offended, back off. If someone does or says something that offends you, a sincere PM will dollars-to-donuts nip the problem in the bud.

I used the term "retard" in a thread once, and someone (I forget who) PMed me and told me it wasn't cool. They were right, and you won't see me using the term again (excpet, like here to make a point).

As others have said, sarcasm is hard to convey in print (again: sarcasm font, please, Marma!). BUt I do think that by-and-large, any ribbing that goes on here is good natured and not meant to offend or hurt. But sometimes we do go too far.

But if you call us on it, we'll back off. And if not, contact the moderators.

Comet -  it's unfortunate that my name is associated with that post that offended you so much.  It was posted after I left work last night.  I saw this thread before I saw that post.  It is ironic in that I have come to your defense in the past and I really don't know what else to say.  I'm sorry my post unintentionally led to this.

For us to now sacrifice all the hilarity and fun because of a few mistakes is unacceptable. Comet you certainly do not deserve to be harassed with inappropriate postings but in the same turn you cannot misconstrue good natured joking around and characterize it as "bullying".
And tyrant get your butt from behind Comets coattails and come out swinging (barbs that is).

So here's to COJ always being COJ.

I'm really not trying to cry out "poor me" or anything. I know that 99% of the posts in COJ are sarcastic, I participate. I don't mind people making fun of me, I can take many jokes.

However, THIS PARTICULAR joke has gone too far. Thats it. If you don't have anything else to say about me then don't say anything.

Again, I know that (or want to believe) that the individual jokes were meant in jest, but as a whole they're offensive.

1. That is not what I am saying and you know it. I love COJ and am by no means saying to back off all jokes about people. Its this ONE joke. Don't take it that far.

2. Thats funny.

I agree- I think that COJ has the same old jokes that aren't so funny. 

If you notice, its the same people making what they think are "jokes" about the same Bt'ers. 

I just sick of the people who make me look like some kind of freak by cracking "jokes" about me when they're just trying to look funny and entertain others.  I mean honestly- what are you trying to prove by doing that?  Some of these aren't jokes, but jabs at my personal character.  Which the thing I don't get, if these people KNOW that's something you're sensitive about (per RL conversations), why keep posting it on BT?  To me that's just immature.

If you want to make people laugh that's fine- the humor on this website is great.  Just don't do it in a way that will compromise my character or others.  I'm not saying that I (or others) can't take a joke.  You just have to be careful because some jokes go in the direction of personal attacks and that's not what we want here.

Ok- venting over.

If I can't take the heat, I'll get out of the kitchen.  So for those of you who are going to tell me to lighten up, don't bother  

I know you're not...I know you better than that.

But that's kind of my point. Going to far doesn't happen often, but when/if it does, just shoot the person(s) that posted the offensive thing a PM, and they'll back off. Easy peezy.

I don't understand what people aren't getting??  Comet doesn't like joked references her and porn.  There.  If you're considerate enough, you won't waste your time trying to convince her that it's funny, or that she's being too sensitive, etc.  She doesn't think it's funny.  I wouldn't like it either.  Leave it alone.  What's so hard about that?

Well, there were multiple offenders with the jokes. I took them for a while, not being offended and going with the 'joke.' However, it went too far when I wasn't even participating in a thread.

Like Janelle said. I'm offended. Stop. Thats it. No big deal.

OK, I think we have made some good points on here today.  Sometimes, things do get taken a little far. 

So now, lets just take a deep breath and relax.

Totally agree. About 8 months ago, I posted an "Advice for Nebies" thread. Here's what I said:

OK. I'm going to preface this by saying I'm not the king of BT, nor of web forums in general. I'm just a guy that hangs out here a lot, and have spent time on lots of other web forums as well. This is well intentioned. My idea isn't to call anyone out. I'm not an elitist and I believe in free speech and equal access.

But I wanted to throw some ideas out there. Hopefully others will read this and take it to heart. Offer contradictory opinions at will. Call me an @sshole, what ever response you have to reading this is welcome.

Here's my list:

• First and foremost, this is a TRIATHLON forum. It's why 99% of us are here.
• Make sure you introduce yourself in "Introduce Yourself."
  
• If you're a newbie, hang out in the "tri talk" forum. Hopefully, if you're a new triathlete, that's really why you're here. Ask questions. Seek advice. Any tri related question is fair game. It may have been answered before, and if it has we may tell you to do a search, or we may just answer your question anyway. If you're not a triathlon newbie, pitch in with some advice. This is why the site is here (IMO...I'm not Ron).
• Post an avatar, but keep your shirt on (pot, kettle, I know, but hear me out). If you were to walk into a group of strangers at a party, you wouldn't do it without a shirt, would you? But if you're at a party with a hundred of your best friends, you just might take your shirt off. Or pants. See what I'm sayin'?
  
• Tri Talk is a great place to hang out and get aquainted with people on the site.
• Cup of Joe is an integral part of the site. Even the most diehard triathlete here needs to talk about something else on occasion.
• If you're a newbie and find your way into cupajoe, lurk. Post sparingly. Observe the threads. After a while, you'll see that people sometimes post stuff that they are not entirely 100% serious about.
  
• Think of Cup of Joe like a party where everyone knows everyone else. Imagine someone walking into the party that knows no one. Imagine that person jumping into a conversation and offering girls massages. Looking for a hook up. It's not cool.
• Get to know somone before you offer sex. That's just common sense.
• Along those lines, BT isn't a dating service. It's not hookup central. Hook ups happen, sure, but we like to get to know each other first. But it's not what this site is about (again, IMO. I'm not Ron).