Brings back memories...
I drew the shades tight. I put a movie in the VCR in my daughters room and guiltily slunk out.... tip-toeing down the hall, I ignored the dogs with their flapping ears and windshield-wiper tails. I was wired tight and hurrying. I heard a creak and froze, looking back and all around. I heard the ticking of the clock and the far off noise of a child laughing. I continued my dirty little march and slid into into the kitchen. Maniacally I burst into action: knife, peanutbutter, crunchy AND creamy. Concord grape jelly. Kosher pickles. Bread.
I take out 4 slices. Yes, 4. I toss them on the plate and furtively reach for and catch one that went to far and fell off. A flash of light from the knife in the darkened kitchen, glinty and forboding... Spinning lids fall and clank, but I don't hear. I am a machine, predernatural, a raging beast with one goal: the kill, the first magical bite the last pregnant middle of the sandwich.
Sandwich 1: Crunchy peanutbutter with grape jelly. I resist the urge to take a lick of the knife. I walk a delicate line here, between satiation and gluttoney and I know it. No snacking. I am a pro and have fallen victim to these pitfalls before. I close the bread and rince the know and wipe it with apaper towel.
Sandwich 2: Creamy peanut butter, slices of kosher pickles, another slather of peanut butter on slice two (otherwise the pickles slide around. Close sandwich.
I hurridly throw the lids back on, furtively trying to match the correct lids to the correct jars. 1, 2, 3, 4! Refrigerator...SLAM... Cupbopard...SLAM... Pantry... SLAM!
Wait, something its wrong. I pause, plate in hand. I hear birds... I hear Ogres yelling at Donkeys... I hear the panting of two completely mesmerized Golden Retrievers... What is it... What... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!
MILK...! I have almost forgotten the cherry on top of the pie. The dairy to wash down my rich haul. Wshew. Swing... SLAM. gurgle gurgle...glop glop glop. Hand full I sit at the table and set everything down... Where to start.... ummmmmmmm ummmmmmmm... ummmmmmmm.... smack, slurp unnnnunn...gurgle, gurgle...smack....
AHhhhhhhhhhhhhh