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2012-07-16 5:24 PM
in reply to: #4314523

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
blbriley - 2012-07-16 1:56 PM
AbbieR - 2012-07-16 12:13 PM

Classic dating moment in my life...."I think you are a beautiful woman, and you obviously have a lot to offer someone. Before we go any further, I need to disclose that my situation is atypical. In fact, I am not divorced, separated or single. I'm married, but my wife and I have reached an understanding"


Wow! Translation: "My wife has been sleeping around for a while, I just found out, so I get a "hall pass" too.

My $0.02, you can do better!

LOL, I have NO interest in dating him, just found it as another funny story in my dating life.



2012-07-16 5:25 PM
in reply to: #4314640

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
lisac957 - 2012-07-16 3:09 PM
AbbieR - 2012-07-16 2:13 PM

Classic dating moment in my life...."I think you are a beautiful woman, and you obviously have a lot to offer someone. Before we go any further, I need to disclose that my situation is atypical. In fact, I am not divorced, separated or single. I'm married, but my wife and I have reached an understanding"


Did he have a profile pic?

 

Yes.  I didn't meet him, the quote was from the email he sent to me.

2012-07-16 5:45 PM
in reply to: #4314666

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Master
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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
I actually know quite a few people in the poly community here. It's really not that outrageous. It might not be my cup of tea, but I pass no judgement on those that dig it.
2012-07-16 6:29 PM
in reply to: #4314704

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Sensei
Sin City
Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0

If I were a betting man, I would wager that HE has made an arrangement/agreement and she has yet to be made aware of it...  I have heard the line used before many a time here in Vegas.

2012-07-16 9:58 PM
in reply to: #4314704

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
DeannaS - 2012-07-16 5:45 PM

I actually know quite a few people in the poly community here. It's really not that outrageous. It might not be my cup of tea, but I pass no judgement on those that dig it.


A poly relationship means that the couple brings someone into their relationship and they all love each other. It doesn't mean the guy just goes around sleeping with other women on the side because he is allowed. Right? I don't think that guy is in a poly relationship.

That guy Abbie mentioned also isn't a swinger... again, the girl gets brought home. But some swingers play by themselves outside of their relationship. But typically the "outside" person is brought home at some point. Maybe. ????

What can I say, I watch a lot of HBO, LOGO, etc. And I have an acquaintance who is all about poly relationships. I don't know all the details of his life, but he has made it very clear he is not a swinger.

Honestly, that guy probably isn't allowed to cheat on his wife... but that's what he tells women. I told Abbie she needed to ask to speak with his wife... just to see what the wife said. Ha!





Edited by KSH 2012-07-16 9:59 PM
2012-07-16 10:00 PM
in reply to: #4273485

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
lisac957 - 2012-06-21 11:12 AM

"I have really long hair right now, I'm growing it out for the Locks of Love program. I am about 1" away from being able to cut it off. Just giving you fair warning."

Yet all of his photos are with very short hair. 
I'm almost intrigued enough to meet up just to see the hair.

  



The next question would be... how OLD are those pictures with short hair?



2012-07-16 10:02 PM
in reply to: #4314613

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
STut - 2012-07-16 4:51 PM

AbbieR - 2012-07-16 12:13 PM

Classic dating moment in my life...."I think you are a beautiful woman, and you obviously have a lot to offer someone. Before we go any further, I need to disclose that my situation is atypical. In fact, I am not divorced, separated or single. I'm married, but my wife and I have reached an understanding"


Would a woman really be interested in dating a guy that was already married, even if he had an "understanding" with the wife?

Honestly, how many woman would accept that in a marriage?  I've never met any in my life.



Most women who would take up on that offer probably.... 1) Don't want to be tied to one man or to get married. Guy is already married, so she gets a free dinner, some sex on the side, and doesn't have to wash his clothes. 2) Wants a man to take care of her financially, but again, doesn't want to worry about the commitment.

Of course, if this guy is wanting something on the side, and not paying for meals, etc.... then what's he offering exactly? HA!

2012-07-17 5:02 AM
in reply to: #4315084

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
KSH - 2012-07-16 9:58 PM

DeannaS - 2012-07-16 5:45 PM

I actually know quite a few people in the poly community here. It's really not that outrageous. It might not be my cup of tea, but I pass no judgement on those that dig it.


A poly relationship means that the couple brings someone into their relationship and they all love each other. It doesn't mean the guy just goes around sleeping with other women on the side because he is allowed. Right? I don't think that guy is in a poly relationship.




I don't think the definition of poly is quite so cut and dried. Poly-amorous just means loving more than one. It doesn't define how that love takes place, and, in fact, the poly people that I know rail against a strict "definition."

I have one friend that is a relationship with a couple, but also has relationships on the side that the couple are not a part of. And, yes, they ALL socialize at her parties together, the all know what's going on, and it works for all of them.

That being said, if it's a good poly relationship, there should be no problem with asking to meet the wife before anything happens. Everything should be open and honest.

And, there are rules, the primary one being that everything should be safe, consensual and communicated. Additional rules depend on the individuals involved.
2012-07-17 9:36 AM
in reply to: #4315084

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0

KSH - 2012-07-16 10:58 PM
DeannaS - 2012-07-16 5:45 PM I actually know quite a few people in the poly community here. It's really not that outrageous. It might not be my cup of tea, but I pass no judgement on those that dig it.
A poly relationship means that the couple brings someone into their relationship and they all love each other. It doesn't mean the guy just goes around sleeping with other women on the side because he is allowed. Right? I don't think that guy is in a poly relationship. That guy Abbie mentioned also isn't a swinger... again, the girl gets brought home. But some swingers play by themselves outside of their relationship. But typically the "outside" person is brought home at some point. Maybe. ???? What can I say, I watch a lot of HBO, LOGO, etc. And I have an acquaintance who is all about poly relationships. I don't know all the details of his life, but he has made it very clear he is not a swinger. Honestly, that guy probably isn't allowed to cheat on his wife... but that's what he tells women. I told Abbie she needed to ask to speak with his wife... just to see what the wife said. Ha!

I go to school with a guy that has used that "we have an arrangement" on EVERY SINGLE GIRL in our cohort (there are only 10 of us, and almost all of us are married/engaged/living with a boyfriend of several years).  Unsuccessfully, every time of course, and I have met his wife and she is just lovely and wish I could tell her what he is up to but the one time I met her and he was there, what was I supposed to do? 

2012-07-17 9:52 AM
in reply to: #4315607

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
mehaner - 2012-07-17 7:36 AM

 

I go to school with a guy that has used that "we have an arrangement" on EVERY SINGLE GIRL in our cohort (there are only 10 of us, and almost all of us are married/engaged/living with a boyfriend of several years).  Unsuccessfully, every time of course, and I have met his wife and she is just lovely and wish I could tell her what he is up to but the one time I met her and he was there, what was I supposed to do? 

Go up to her and say, "hey I think it's cool that you and your guy have this special arrangement. He's been putting in a real effort with all the girls here at school trying to get something going" Smile

2012-07-17 10:00 AM
in reply to: #4162190

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Alpharetta, Georgia
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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0

For you single ladies above... let's say... 30 years old. How would you take this sentence in an email?

I think that someone who gets to be your age and doesn't get married must be very in tune with what they want in life.

 



2012-07-17 10:05 AM
in reply to: #4315658

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
lisac957 - 2012-07-17 8:00 AM

For you single ladies above... let's say... 30 years old. How would you take this sentence in an email?

I think that someone who gets to be your age and doesn't get married must be very in tune with what they want in life.

 

HAHA How old was the guy that said this?

2012-07-17 10:06 AM
in reply to: #4315658

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
lisac957 - 2012-07-17 11:00 AM

For you single ladies above... let's say... 30 years old. How would you take this sentence in an email?

I think that someone who gets to be your age and doesn't get married must be very in tune with what they want in life.

 

I'd take it as a failed "compliment" that's truly an insult.

2012-07-17 10:08 AM
in reply to: #4315670

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2012-07-17 10:27 AM
in reply to: #4315665

Alpharetta, Georgia
Bronze member
Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
Big Appa - 2012-07-17 10:05 AM
lisac957 - 2012-07-17 8:00 AM

For you single ladies above... let's say... 30 years old. How would you take this sentence in an email?

I think that someone who gets to be your age and doesn't get married must be very in tune with what they want in life.

 

HAHA How old was the guy that said this?

Profile says 39

2012-07-17 10:30 AM
in reply to: #4315709

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
lisac957 - 2012-07-17 8:27 AM
Big Appa - 2012-07-17 10:05 AM
lisac957 - 2012-07-17 8:00 AM

For you single ladies above... let's say... 30 years old. How would you take this sentence in an email?

I think that someone who gets to be your age and doesn't get married must be very in tune with what they want in life.

 

HAHA How old was the guy that said this?

Profile says 39

So he is really 44? Ya he was trying to say that you must know what you are looking for in life or a mate but he said it all bass aackwards.



2012-07-17 10:58 AM
in reply to: #4315715

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
Big Appa - 2012-07-17 8:30 AM
lisac957 - 2012-07-17 8:27 AM
Big Appa - 2012-07-17 10:05 AM
lisac957 - 2012-07-17 8:00 AM

For you single ladies above... let's say... 30 years old. How would you take this sentence in an email?

I think that someone who gets to be your age and doesn't get married must be very in tune with what they want in life.

 

HAHA How old was the guy that said this?

Profile says 39

So he is really 44? Ya he was trying to say that you must know what you are looking for in life or a mate but he said it all bass aackwards.

 

Yep I agree with Big Appa. 

2012-07-17 11:22 AM
in reply to: #4162190

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
Need your opinion...started dialogue w a guy from a dating site online (he's not a triathlete). One Friday night I'm at the gym and he texts me but I can't respond due to dead phone. It was just a "hey there" text, so whatever. When I get home an hour later, he had emailed me on gmail, then on the dating site's email, and finally a phone call. Each message got more intense, almost jealous why the heck wasn't I responding on a Friday night, etc. I didn't bother responding, felt like this was surely a red flag. Controlling and jealous already, no patience, anger management, and obviously not athletic or supportive of my lifestyle. the next day he again emailed "don't bother contacting me when he starts being a jerk." Who was he talking about, my spin instructor? I then told him he was a freak and I was turning down dates to train for my next race, and so what if I had been on a date, he didn't own me! He then got super nasty. Do you also think he was a freak? I think if a person doesn't respond to a text etc you don't bomb them with email and calls. What a turn off.
2012-07-17 11:23 AM
in reply to: #4315858

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0

HonoluluAngel - 2012-07-17 9:22 AM Need your opinion...started dialogue w a guy from a dating site online (he's not a triathlete). One Friday night I'm at the gym and he texts me but I can't respond due to dead phone. It was just a "hey there" text, so whatever. When I get home an hour later, he had emailed me on gmail, then on the dating site's email, and finally a phone call. Each message got more intense, almost jealous why the heck wasn't I responding on a Friday night, etc. I didn't bother responding, felt like this was surely a red flag. Controlling and jealous already, no patience, anger management, and obviously not athletic or supportive of my lifestyle. the next day he again emailed "don't bother contacting me when he starts being a jerk." Who was he talking about, my spin instructor? I then told him he was a freak and I was turning down dates to train for my next race, and so what if I had been on a date, he didn't own me! He then got super nasty. Do you also think he was a freak? I think if a person doesn't respond to a text etc you don't bomb them with email and calls. What a turn off.

Run, run away very fast.

2012-07-17 11:30 AM
in reply to: #4315861

Alpharetta, Georgia
Bronze member
Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
Big Appa - 2012-07-17 11:23 AM

HonoluluAngel - 2012-07-17 9:22 AM Need your opinion...started dialogue w a guy from a dating site online (he's not a triathlete). One Friday night I'm at the gym and he texts me but I can't respond due to dead phone. It was just a "hey there" text, so whatever. When I get home an hour later, he had emailed me on gmail, then on the dating site's email, and finally a phone call. Each message got more intense, almost jealous why the heck wasn't I responding on a Friday night, etc. I didn't bother responding, felt like this was surely a red flag. Controlling and jealous already, no patience, anger management, and obviously not athletic or supportive of my lifestyle. the next day he again emailed "don't bother contacting me when he starts being a jerk." Who was he talking about, my spin instructor? I then told him he was a freak and I was turning down dates to train for my next race, and so what if I had been on a date, he didn't own me! He then got super nasty. Do you also think he was a freak? I think if a person doesn't respond to a text etc you don't bomb them with email and calls. What a turn off.

Run, run away very fast.

x2. This happened to me on a smaller scale. Nothing nasty, but multiple texts/calls while I was on a long ride, lots of questions, short fuse. I'd been out with him twice, and never talked to him again. I am not looking for a relationship that is controlled and monitored - and little things that early on are huge red flags to me.

Another example... a few weeks ago I'd been emailing a guy on Match. I told him I might be out Saturday night and if I was, I might text him to meet up. No solid plans. When I stayed in and didn't text him, I get an email Sunday saying "I'd like to know what happened, I don't normally get upset about these things but we're both adults ETC ETC ETC" - it wasn't nasty, but the reaction totally turned me off. Never emailed him again.

2012-07-17 11:35 AM
in reply to: #4162190

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Honolulu
Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
Yes there's gotta be some kinda etiquette on phone/txt/email bombing. The sad thing is we weren't out getting action and get accused of it. BTW this guy was a photographer and when I sent him my pic, he photoshopped it and sent it back to me. Makes me wonder how much he fixed his own pics. I bet he had man boobs anyhow, too much time on the computer


2012-07-17 12:06 PM
in reply to: #4315858

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
HonoluluAngel - 2012-07-17 11:22 AM

Need your opinion...started dialogue w a guy from a dating site online (he's not a triathlete). One Friday night I'm at the gym and he texts me but I can't respond due to dead phone. It was just a "hey there" text, so whatever. When I get home an hour later, he had emailed me on gmail, then on the dating site's email, and finally a phone call. Each message got more intense, almost jealous why the heck wasn't I responding on a Friday night, etc. I didn't bother responding, felt like this was surely a red flag. Controlling and jealous already, no patience, anger management, and obviously not athletic or supportive of my lifestyle. the next day he again emailed "don't bother contacting me when he starts being a jerk." Who was he talking about, my spin instructor? I then told him he was a freak and I was turning down dates to train for my next race, and so what if I had been on a date, he didn't own me! He then got super nasty. Do you also think he was a freak? I think if a person doesn't respond to a text etc you don't bomb them with email and calls. What a turn off.


WOW. And now you know why he's single!

2012-07-17 12:07 PM
in reply to: #4315880

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
lisac957 - 2012-07-17 11:30 AM

Big Appa - 2012-07-17 11:23 AM

HonoluluAngel - 2012-07-17 9:22 AM Need your opinion...started dialogue w a guy from a dating site online (he's not a triathlete). One Friday night I'm at the gym and he texts me but I can't respond due to dead phone. It was just a "hey there" text, so whatever. When I get home an hour later, he had emailed me on gmail, then on the dating site's email, and finally a phone call. Each message got more intense, almost jealous why the heck wasn't I responding on a Friday night, etc. I didn't bother responding, felt like this was surely a red flag. Controlling and jealous already, no patience, anger management, and obviously not athletic or supportive of my lifestyle. the next day he again emailed "don't bother contacting me when he starts being a jerk." Who was he talking about, my spin instructor? I then told him he was a freak and I was turning down dates to train for my next race, and so what if I had been on a date, he didn't own me! He then got super nasty. Do you also think he was a freak? I think if a person doesn't respond to a text etc you don't bomb them with email and calls. What a turn off.

Run, run away very fast.

x2. This happened to me on a smaller scale. Nothing nasty, but multiple texts/calls while I was on a long ride, lots of questions, short fuse. I'd been out with him twice, and never talked to him again. I am not looking for a relationship that is controlled and monitored - and little things that early on are huge red flags to me.

Another example... a few weeks ago I'd been emailing a guy on Match. I told him I might be out Saturday night and if I was, I might text him to meet up. No solid plans. When I stayed in and didn't text him, I get an email Sunday saying "I'd like to know what happened, I don't normally get upset about these things but we're both adults ETC ETC ETC" - it wasn't nasty, but the reaction totally turned me off. Never emailed him again.



There seem to be a lot of men with emotional issues on those dating websites!!!!

2012-07-17 12:32 PM
in reply to: #4315658

Expert
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San Luis Obispo, CA
Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
lisac957 - 2012-07-17 8:00 AM

For you single ladies above... let's say... 30 years old. How would you take this sentence in an email?

I think that someone who gets to be your age and doesn't get married must be very in tune with what they want in life.

 

Was his next "compliment": "for someone who exercises so much, I thought you'd be skinny"?  Sounds like a guy that doesn't have the best social skills.  NEXT!

2012-07-17 1:07 PM
in reply to: #4315955

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Subject: RE: Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0
KSH - 2012-07-17 10:07 AM
lisac957 - 2012-07-17 11:30 AM
Big Appa - 2012-07-17 11:23 AM

HonoluluAngel - 2012-07-17 9:22 AM Need your opinion...started dialogue w a guy from a dating site online (he's not a triathlete). One Friday night I'm at the gym and he texts me but I can't respond due to dead phone. It was just a "hey there" text, so whatever. When I get home an hour later, he had emailed me on gmail, then on the dating site's email, and finally a phone call. Each message got more intense, almost jealous why the heck wasn't I responding on a Friday night, etc. I didn't bother responding, felt like this was surely a red flag. Controlling and jealous already, no patience, anger management, and obviously not athletic or supportive of my lifestyle. the next day he again emailed "don't bother contacting me when he starts being a jerk." Who was he talking about, my spin instructor? I then told him he was a freak and I was turning down dates to train for my next race, and so what if I had been on a date, he didn't own me! He then got super nasty. Do you also think he was a freak? I think if a person doesn't respond to a text etc you don't bomb them with email and calls. What a turn off.

Run, run away very fast.

x2. This happened to me on a smaller scale. Nothing nasty, but multiple texts/calls while I was on a long ride, lots of questions, short fuse. I'd been out with him twice, and never talked to him again. I am not looking for a relationship that is controlled and monitored - and little things that early on are huge red flags to me.

Another example... a few weeks ago I'd been emailing a guy on Match. I told him I might be out Saturday night and if I was, I might text him to meet up. No solid plans. When I stayed in and didn't text him, I get an email Sunday saying "I'd like to know what happened, I don't normally get upset about these things but we're both adults ETC ETC ETC" - it wasn't nasty, but the reaction totally turned me off. Never emailed him again.

There seem to be a lot of men with emotional issues on those dating websites!!!!

I would say people in general not just the guys.

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