Men vs Women (Page 2)

surfwallace - 2008-06-05 8:48 AM 

 You get angry and show it to your wife? Man, I show no emotion. Nothing phases me ever. Until she does something crazy stupid, then I show just my fangs (can't show too much emotion) and because I am always so laid back about EVERYTHING she knows she is wrong. It is kind of like when the dog just lays there when the kids are running around screaming and he is trying to sleep. When they cross the line he just snaps a quick growl and shows his teeth. The kids get the point and we don't get mad at the dog. Now on the flipside when your wife gets mad at you for the countless idiotic things you do, just apologize (even when you really don't mean it). A woman PMS'ing is nothing to play games with. I found the female species is pretty rational at all other times. At least mine is

kproudfoot - 2008-06-05 9:36 AM

 Several months ago I was at best buy with my son.  He was watching tv in their little makeshift living room and I was talking to the sales guy.  I could see him the entire time.  Well I walked behind the wall to get him and lost site for litterally 3 seconds in which time he got up and became lost in the store.  First mistake was telling my wife and she just gave me the "You need to keep an eye on him" speach.  I agreed and we went on.

Now few months later she takes my son to one of my races and does not pay attention crossing the street and he gets hit by one of the pro triathletes on his bike and has to go to the emergency room.  If I even started to say something to her she would cry and say not to say anything she feels bad enough.  WTF??  I get crap for almost losing him and she get him almost killed and I can't say a word!!!! Ahhhh!!!!

kproudfoot - 2008-06-05 9:36 AM

Now few months later she takes my son to one of my races and does not pay attention crossing the street and he gets hit by one of the pro triathletes on his bike and has to go to the emergency room.  If I even started to say something to her she would cry and say not to say anything she feels bad enough.  WTF??  I get crap for almost losing him and she get him almost killed and I can't say a word!!!! Ahhhh!!!!

akustix - 2008-06-05 10:21 AM

We learn how to fight and reconcile from our families of origin generally speaking. 

run4yrlif - 2008-06-05 11:15 AM

So what exactly would it accomplish by throwing it back in your wife's face at that point?

The thing at Best Buy is a teachable moment...it's good to discuss when things *could* go wrong. Your son getting hurt at the race sucks, but the teachable moment had passed. Unless you don't think she knows she screwed up.

1stTimeTri - 2008-06-05 9:46 AM

Until the batteries die.

trixie - 2008-06-05 7:52 AM

 

Damn straight! And they are available ALL the time and for repeat performances 

TriToy - 2008-06-05 12:02 PM

 

drawer full of batteries

and one toy is rechargeable and works whilst plugged in..... 

chadtower - 2008-06-05 11:49 AM She didn't need to be taught to watch the kid. She needed to do it. He's entitled to express his anger that not only did she fail but the kid got hurt as a result. Now, how much anger he should express is really up to him but he has legitimate reason to be angry at her failure.

run4yrlif - 2008-06-05 12:07 PM

But also to be compassionate for her feelings.

Marriage isn't a competition, it's a partnership. If we treated our SOs more like our friends, I expect we'd treat them a whole lot better.

TriToy - 2008-06-05 11:02 AM

 

drawer full of batteries

and one toy is rechargeable and works whilst plugged in..... 

Renee - 2008-06-05 7:50 AM

You only need to apologize when you've done something to apologize for.

She is responsible for her actions. Her bad behavior does not entitle you to bad behavior, however. As long as you express your anger without being abusive, I'd say you have nothing to apologize for.

So do you think you'll be asking your wife to start wearing her big-girl panties anytime soon?

chadtower - 2008-06-05 12:13 PM  There's also the consequences here. It's not like the kid got lost in a store for a minute. The kid was needlessly hurt. Plus he totally effed up someone's race day. All because she didn't watch. If there's a time for this issue to be a fight this is definitely the instance. What if next time it's a car instead of a bike? The kid's safety is more important than her feelings, IMO. It's just as unhealthy to not communicate that anger as it is to fight about it. Moderation. That's the key. Get your point across without being an a-hole.

run4yrlif - 2008-06-05 10:59 AM

I understand, but you don't think she gets that she screwed up? I mean, if not, OK. But seriously, what possible good could come out of starting a fight about it? You'll make her feel more sh!tty than she already does, but after that, what? You think that by throwing it in her face she's going to be extra careful next time, whereas seeing her son hurt wouldn't have that same effect? She screwed up, no doubt. But dollars to donuts she won't do it again. With or without a fight.

edit: starting a fight for the sake of starting a fight is no good for anyone. Except maybe divorce attorneys.

run4yrlif - 2008-06-05 12:59 PM

But dollars to donuts she won't do it again.

chadtower - 2008-06-05 1:42 PM You must be more comfortable with risking the kid's safety than I am. When someone does something they already knew they weren't supposed to do they tend to do it again at some point. I've seen it way too many times from too many people, myself included.

SuzanneS - 2008-06-05 1:56 PM

If she already knows she was wrong and is suffering from that knowledge, how can telling her she's wrong and bringing home the point, do anything more but hurt her even more?

surfwallace - 2008-06-05 6:08 AM Women, can't live with 'em, and they can't pee standing up. -Some other guy