how young is too young?? (Page 2)

In general, if there is a 10 year or more age difference with adults, there are usually some oedipal/electra issues that are unresolved.  Does that matter?  Depends on how aware the two parties are of these issues, and how unresolved those issues are. The other potential issue with a much older male member of the dyad is that in the normal course of life, the female partner will outlive the male by a significant margin.  Also if the younger party decides they want kids, it means that there is a greater chance of the kid(s) losing a parent at a relatively young age.

 I'm not makeing judgments, just observations from both a professional (psychiatry) and personal point of view.  My parents were separated by 12 years, my brother and I were born when our father was in his mid to late 40's, and he died when we were in college.

I figure that by marrying me, she get two for one.  Since women live longer, she will outlast me.   And since I have a head start, she has a chance to remarry while still reasonably young...

win/win

So I did the age/2 - 7 thing and was startled to learn I should be dating a guy who is 26.  Eek!

Then I realized, the assumption was that the male would be older.

My sister is married to a man 19 years older. I think he was 49 and she was 30 when they met. They've been together more than 20 years.

One of my nephews has been together with a woman 21 years older. He was 20 and she was 41 when they met. They've now been together for about 8 years.

Age is just a number. If the relationship is right age will not be a factor at all.

I think it goes both ways.  But it's not who you SHOULD date, but a sociably acceptable low end.

If you are 20, you shouldn't date younger than 17.  30 would be date someone as low as 22.

40 would be 27, 60 would be 37.  (you know the math)

All those 'sound' ok to me.  Whether it was a man dating younger or woman dating younger...

the first works with the formula, the second, not so much...(but if they are together long enough it will eventually workout!  The gap gets wider the older you get...)

But I agree.  Age is just a number.

I know a guy that I wouldn't rule out...I am 27 and he is in his early 40's.  Big difference...yes.  Statistically he would die quite a bit before me...yes.  But seriously, life is fleeting and you should focus on living it, not the statistics and what ifs. 

 I'd claim great genes, but then I'd get hit by a bus..   most people in my family live well into their nineties and are still active mentally and physically..  so maybe I do need someone younger.. Akido man is convincing me   !!!!!!!

What defines mentally active in your book?  Still able to work the interwebz and sign up for another tri?

I have a 42-year old wife.  Thinking about trading her in for two, 21-year olds!

 actually I wouldn't trade my wife for anyone!  She puts up with me so that says a lot.  I do think anything over 10-years is not good in the long run.  I think a seventy-five year old guy would have trouble keeping up with a 60 year old woman.  sheesh...she might even be changing his diapers!    anyway, if you are looking for a long-term relationship I think that's too young.

 oh, I am 6-years older than my wife.  she's the mature one!

I like what Mae West (the original Cougar) said

You are only as old as the man that you feel.

Don't forget to factor in the money.  If she's 87, has 30 million in the bank, and I only have to take her out of her iron lung for an occasional weekend drive, then I'm OK with that.

I think age is only a #; however, I agree with what another poster said about it may not be a big deal now but when he's 80 and I'm a fresh young 60 it may.    I'm 32 and my sweetheart is 52.  We've been together about 2 years.  I think about what may happen in the future but not much.  I'm happy and hopefully I'll be happy wiping the drool off his chin in another 20-30 years

 The one thing I probably worry about most is, in years to come, will he be able to hang during long rides & runs

My fiance is a lot older than me but it still meets the age/2 +7 formula for him. 

I think that is why I always want pizza more than him.  Other than that it hasn't been a problem.  He looks VERY young and is very handsome.  We get along great.

Once in awhile I wouldn't mind having a 30 or 40 year old version of him to play with!!

Maybe you could apply for the pool boy position I was going to post!

Wow.  My 9 years younger than me wife was already 1.5 year TOO old when we married.  Now, 9 years later the formula shows that she is 6 years TOO old.

Jim, what state accepted your marriage license?