Funny things your kids say (Page 2)

That reminds me of one of my cousins. My aunt had bought him an "action figure" (doll) of Sheriff Woody from Toy Story. My cousin was in the kids' seat of a shopping cart while they went through the grocery store and said (loudly, according to her) "mom, can I play with my Woody?"

My favorite nephew was about 8 years old and we were playing the board game Stratego. I let him win by intentionally getting killed by his bombs. As we were putting the pieces away he said to me very politley: "Gee Uncle Tom maybe next time you should use your brain."

His mother was mortified and made him apologize, and we did laugh about it later.

Several years later another nephew was in day care leearning exciting new words. One day he was playing with this game that you had to put the various shaped blocks in the correct holes. well he had the cylinder in the correct hole but it was tilted. So he is hitting it with the mallet saying: "Come on you little F**er get in there." 

That was his last day at that day care.

I had probably told this story before, which sounds like Urban Legend, but my friend claimed that he overheard it in a subway train in Hong Kong.

Kid: mommy mommy I need to go pee.
Mom: Well, you have to wait for a bit.  Couple more stops and we'll get off the train.
Kid:  I really need to pee.
Mom: Sorry, but there is no bathroom in the train.
Kid (shout): I have to pee!  NOW!
Mom (annoyed) and how are you going to do that here?
Kid:  Pee in your mouth.
Mom (angry): where did you learn to say such nasty thing?
Kid:  from dad
Mom (angrier):  you are a bad boy!  Will tell dad tonight and you will be punished!
Kid (cry):  but... but... I saw dad peeing in your mouth last night....

Dad, I got picked up for underage drinking in the park. You have to come to the police station and get me.

You know what, that was so funny after all. NM.

Me to my 4 year old: Buddy go clean your room.  You can't even walk in there.

Shane: Yes I can. I just pay attention to where I step.

Me: Well clean it up anyway.

Shane: If you say so, but I promise I can get in there.

When the original Shrek came out my daughter was 4 or 5 and she just had to watch that movie everyday. So she is walking up the stairs one night and I ask her to tell her brother to come down so I can talk to him. She stops dead on the stairs and turns around and says:

"Dad I'm a delivery boy not a messenger boy!!!"

I lost it she was so seriouse, I couldn't stop laughing. 

Thanks for this thread it brought back a really good memory. Bravo to the original poster, Bravo!!!

Our 4yo son was singing a song one evening after pre-school. He goes to a Christian school and they had Chapel that day. He was singing a popular Christian song that my wife and I both knew well so when we heard what he was singing we had to ask him to repeat it. 

The song is "Here I Am to Worship."

He was singing "Here I am to learn $h!t."