When Do I tell? (Page 3)

Not to be harsh, and I could be off base on this, but judging by your logs, maybe you'd get more support from those around you if you showed a greater level of commitment to your training. If you want the people in your life to get more on board with this stuff, then perhaps you should as well.

(Of course, I guess it's possible you don't do most of your training logging on BT, but judging by other posts you've made, I think this is an accurate assumption. I do apologize if I am completely off base.)

Because then you post a question on BT asking when you should tell your parents that you plan to do an IM. 

Are you kidding?  It's the best thread I've read in a long time.   We've gone from slamming the guy for living at home (rightly or wrongly), and now we're gonna get all over his IM training plan.  Pass the popcorn, please

Right. Sorry.

I've been away for a while, so I need to get back up to speed...  

Ask your parents...

I know what everyone is saying, but just stop and think for a minute.  Think of all that money.......from the last X years.......in a big pile...........think of all the TRI stuff you could buy!

Also, I've met Todd but I don't really know him so I'm speaking generally.  Lots of people live with their parents for reasons ranging from financial hardships, bad divorces/abusive spouses, unexpected/ill children, aging/sick parents, etc.  I think ripping on someone for this is crap.  Maybe this was all covered earlier in the thread and should go back and read it all before I shoot my mouth off but I don't want to read 2 pages of ripping on Todd.  If I'm off base here let me know.  I hope none of you ever have a child who is not capable of living on their own when they grow up and you have to see them go through this kind of treatment from their peers. 

Obviously I'm not saying that Todd is not capable - just saying that you may not know all the details. 

****I've gone back and read the whole thread and am actually surprised that its only a few who I guess my post is directed at.  More people were not as judgemental as I would have guessed.****

Are you including yourself among the judgmental for having made that judgment?

Absolutely.  I'm no saint (or Saint, since I'm talking to you).  I proved that by posting my own judgemental error. 

dont' worry... I'm signed up for IMKY next year also and my first HIM is a few weeks away also.. I had to think about that a bit before signing up also...

I didn't say why he lived there, I said there may be reasons you don't know of and I gave examples of why some people do. 

This isn't just about Todd.  There are hundreds of people reading this and I'm sure more of them are adults living at home, or with children who need to live at home as adults.  I think some of the comments here, like "grow a set", are insulting to Todd and them.  It has a "you're not cool/a man if you don't live on your own" feel to it and I don't agree with that.

Suppose I have a friend with a parent who requires near constant care.  Can't afford a live-in nurse so he lives with his parents?  If you (generic you, not you you) say "Well, that's different" then thank you very much for applying your personal validation stamp on my friends life.  I'm so glad he isn't living at home for what you might think is "the wrong" reason.

I think the responses from people who related telling loved ones difficult things are much more useful to the thread.  And i'm not saying that all posts have to be useful (Lord knows most of mine would have to be pulled!), but we can at least refrain from making them insulting. 

you have a master's in CS, and you're at home!!!

dude you need to get out now, it will only get harder if you are learning to depend on your parents.  i was out of the house at 21yo, I could not imagine living with my parents at any time after that...

What sort of work do you do?  If it's programming, then you need to move, because I see a number of jobs looking for CS grads around here.

H_L, unless I misread some posts, I don't think anyone was saying that he should "grow some" because of living at home, but rather because of his fear of telling his parents.

I, for one, have no problem with someone living with ones parents.  I'm all for saving $$, paying off loan debt and whatnots.  The issue seems to be with the question of a grown man having a fear of telling his parents that he's competing in an Ironman.

The moving out aspects seem have to come up because one thought was that his parents wouldn't approve of the IM b/c they're giving him free or low-cost room and board and he's spending this money NOT on paying off the debts - meaning that is a reason why he fears telling his parents. 

Geez, but with a masters in CS.... you should be able to land you any job where you can afford to be on your own... but that's just me talking.  I could not live with having to ask permission past 21yo... I was on my own and poor, put myself through school alone and poor, and paid off my student loans while poor, LOL!!  Don't you want to be out on your own?? 

I have a CS degree, and there's tons of jobs in the city... I think... hopefully I won't ever have to look again, cause I'm not leaving this place, EVER!!!

Like I said, let me know if I'm off base.  Maybe I am.  In re-reading the thread I noticed at least two other people who commented about people ripping on him for still living at home.  So maybe I'm not.  I guess I'll leave it at that.