Depression and Moods- Check in! (Page 30)

Hey everyone,

It's been a while since I've been here. Some who've been around may remember me. Things have been tough for me...again. I kind of dropped out of the tri scene and BT when my wife died in 2008 of cancer. My work schedule, raising 3 kids, etc was killing me. I did a little training and racing but that was it. Got remarried on Jan 1 2010 and thought my life was turning. Then on Jul 1, six months after getting married and almost 2 years after my late wife died (Jul 21), I got my cancer diagnosis. Went through 5 weeks of radiation and radical surgery to remove a muscle from my back and rebuild it with my latisimus muscle. As part of my recovery I'm training for IMTX.

The stress of cancer treatment, a new marriage, blending of 5 kids, etc. has nearly pushed me over the edge again. I'm on multiple meds now. My NP thinks I have not only depression but anxiety and maybe bipolar. So I'm on Wellbutrin, Lexapro and Seroquel XR. The Seroquel makes me dang tired - which isn't good for IM training. I've tried other drugs in the past. Cymbalta was good, but some of the others didn't do so well for me.

Anyhow, just wanted to say hello to friends old and new, and catch you up on where I am.

Best wishes to you all.

Sometimes its kind of nice to know I"m not the only one feeling blue.

So far in 2011:  stress fracture in the foot, pulled muscle in the neck going on now a month from shoveling (ugh. really?), and now I have to have arthroscopic surgery on my knee.  

  I thought I did this sport to improve my health?

wow.  I feel small after what I wrote...you're a strong man.  Good for you for kicking cancer in the butt with taking on an IM.

TriAya - 2011-02-24 5:08 PM

mman - 2011-02-25 4:33 AM

Hey everyone,

It's been a while since I've been here. Some who've been around may remember me. Things have been tough for me...again. I kind of dropped out of the tri scene and BT when my wife died in 2008 of cancer. My work schedule, raising 3 kids, etc was killing me. I did a little training and racing but that was it. Got remarried on Jan 1 2010 and thought my life was turning. Then on Jul 1, six months after getting married and almost 2 years after my late wife died (Jul 21), I got my cancer diagnosis. Went through 5 weeks of radiation and radical surgery to remove a muscle from my back and rebuild it with my latisimus muscle. As part of my recovery I'm training for IMTX.

The stress of cancer treatment, a new marriage, blending of 5 kids, etc. has nearly pushed me over the edge again. I'm on multiple meds now. My NP thinks I have not only depression but anxiety and maybe bipolar. So I'm on Wellbutrin, Lexapro and Seroquel XR. The Seroquel makes me dang tired - which isn't good for IM training. I've tried other drugs in the past. Cymbalta was good, but some of the others didn't do so well for me.

Anyhow, just wanted to say hello to friends old and new, and catch you up on where I am.

Best wishes to you all.

 

Well hi again Greg ... it's always good to see you, and you're never forgotten here. I also think moving past post #666 is a very hopeful move on your part

I am really sorry for what you've been through, and I wish you lots of strength and peace now, too, and big cheers for taking on Texas.

How long have you been on the Seroquel? It does get less tiring over time.

Glad to be back in the tri world and among my friends here who get it.

I've been on Seroquel for about 2 months. Started at 50 mg and got used to it. Moved to 100 mg with no real issues. Never have adusted to 150 mg. My NP says "take it 12 hours before you want to wake up." I'd be taking it at 4 in the afternoon and asleep by 7. Not real conducive to supporting my wife and five kids. When I explained my training schedule to her, she was a bit stunned. LOL. I need something for the anxiety or I can't sleep. When I take something for the anxiety, I can't wakeup. So I take varying doses depending on what time I'm getting to bed and what time I need to wake up. I keep trying to push through it, but the exhaustion it causes is too much.

sorry I can't help y'all with med advice...I had really bad side effects on Seroquel and have never been on cymbalta.

I've been struggling with depression in varying degrees for the last couple of years.  Tried lots of different meds with lots of bad results.  Also been through several drs.  I am now tinkering with meds that have the least negative effects/some positive effects.

I have been having other health issues too and last week I slipped on an icy hill and messed up my back.  The meds are just taking the edge off the pain and I can hardly do anything.  Really bummed because I was just getting back into cycling.  I think I need to go back to the dr.

I feel this way everyday!  But then I just get back on the proverbial horse.  Any significant thing happen to make you feel this way?

I hear you.

{{MELON PRESS}}

It's great that you're hanging in there and checking in here. Sometimes this thread is really active, sometimes not, but there are always people who check in and also respond.

You know the drill ... just keep on, keeping on for a couple weeks to see how the Wellbutrin kicks in.

As for me ... I may feel the cloud (I describe it as a thick, black velvet curtain that's descended), but I don't have to act accordingly. I can STILL get out of bed, STILL do something vaguely productive, still do what I want to do (or really, okay, I don't want to do it, I don't want to do anything, but I make myself do the sorts of things I know I used to like to do and I usually feel a bit better for it).

Good luck ... let us know how you're doing.

From personal experience Wellbutrin saved my life.  Between that and xanax I was good to go, and then able to sleep like "normal people", not too much and not too little.

Ah the wonders of modern phamaceuticals

YAAAAAY Greg! Congratulations! man ... you have come such a long way. Inspirational.

Are you going to file a race report?

Done.

Here's a few suggestions:

Hunt around BT. Find people who seem cool or whose posts you like. Add them as friends in your blog (write something in your blog, anything, how you feel that day, what you did, training, etc.), and inspire them in their blogs. You will soon have a plethora of friends here.

Join one of the open mentor groups and be active. Doesn't matter that you're not a newbie. MENTORS have joined other mentor groups ...

When May hits, join one of the challenge groups. Ditto for the above ...

So Cup of Joe is kind of a black hole, but I will say that the TAN folks are friendly and ALL of us are mentally interesting, so to speak.

Greg! I remember you! I remember when your wife passed away... Jeez it's been a long time. I will be down in TX too... to jockstrap the race. 

I'm so glad you've found love again! And I'm happy you beat your own cancer and are doing so well. Good. Good. Good. 

Have fun this weekend. Maybe I will see you there. 

LW