Becoming Sober (Page 30)

Welcome. Have a seat. Stay a while.

There is no magic "definition", there are only markers. One thing for sure is, it's progressive. The more you have, the more tolerance you build. The more tolerance, the more you need to drink. The more you drink, the more tolerance you have.... there is nothing you can put in your body that moderation is not needed. Moderation was never my strong suit. Going to sleep drunk 75% of the time is not moderation. That's only a problem if you think it is.

Heya Tony!  Congrats on the 6 days.

If you are, you are what is called a "Functional Alcoholic".  This can be somewhat tougher for you because the ability to function allows us to delude ourselves from seeing what is really happening.

I fell (fall?) into that same category.  Always made it to work, never missed a day. Always got things done that needed to be done.  However, that stuff is not what determines alcoholism.  What determines that is what happens to me when I take a drink.  What it meant for me was almost two decades of trying to figure out how to control it, because if I can go to work and all that, then surely this is just something that needs to be figured out... right?!  Wrong.

If you are an alcoholic, you need to accept that there is absolutely ZERO chance that you will EVER be just a social drinker.  Think of alcoholism as an allergy.  You cannot teach your body to not be allergic to something.  Whatever it is in that compound, there is something in it that triggers a compulsion within us.

Best of luck to you in finding your way.  Keeping AA in mind as a place to go a is a great idea.

I also suggest this to help you think about things.  It is a standard questionnaire for you to answer about your drinking.  BE as BRUTALLY HONEST with yourself as you can stand when answering this and hopefully it'll give you some clarity:

http://aa.activeboard.com/t8081209/whome-aa-pamphlet-johns-hopkins-hospital/

(it is from a pamphlet published by Johns Hopkins)

p.s. I'm not feeling very articulate right now, so hopefully someone like powerman or Yanti come along and help clarify anything I've left muddled

G'Luck!

BAHAHA! No sir, my job is to muddy the waters Popeye there (cgregg) gave you some good thoughts. It's not what or how much you drank (regardless of what you were or were not able to achieve as an active drinker) ... it's what drinking does to you.

Doug, welcome to this thread and to becoming sober. I shall pray for you! Man, one of the BT originals. I've missed you!

Sounds like a good course of action. Just so I've put it in your head ... you may want to peruse the Big Book online:

www.aa.org/bigbookonline

I'd recommend Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism, for starters. Has a lot to say about the types of drinkers and what, in AA's experience, alcoholism is.

Part of it recommends trying controlled drinking on several occasions to test whether you're an alcoholic, and that sounds a lot like what you plan to do after Lent.

I wish you all the best.

Thanks Yanti!  Looks like a great resource! I will keep everyone posted on my progress. As always - this is why I love BT - great support!!!

Just to show it works, 30 years clean and sober today.

Get a Big Book, get a sponsor (and use them both regularly), and take the steps.

Wow, awesome (in the true sense of the word).

Congrats!

I don't have a pic of a cake... but I did just eat a piece.

Big congrats!!!

Wow, that's awesome! Congrats!

AWESOME!  I'm 28 and a half years behind you!  Thanks for the inspiration!

Hi Annie thanks for checking in.  I'm doing great and attending meetings regularly.  It's good to see people show up and start to clean up.  

5 plus weeks for me!   Right on plan.  I have had 2-3 really difficult nights, but other than that it hasn't been a biggie!

Really glad to hear that. I had been thinking of you!

Thanks all for responding.

I bump this thread when I can't stand all the bad news and rants about- insert issue- and need to hear from people doing what they can to make a change in an area for which they themselves can take responsibility not matter how ding dang blasted difficult it is!

I sure wish the OP would show up again but from what you all have said, sometimes it takes several tries and reaching a certain level of *&^%$!.

So with your examples before me I'm off to do something useful and decent for myself or someone else!

Hi!!!

Here's what I can tell you, it's not easy.  I have fallen off the wagon many times over the past year.  But I only look at is a failure if I don't get back on.  As of today I am 67 days sober, and I am working hard to make it stick this time.

A part of me didn't come around here, because I was ashamed of "failing" and didn't want to admit that it happened.

I will keep checking in here weekly, I promise.

I am VERY VERY happy for you all that are here, and continue to make the changes you need in your life. You're all an inspiration to me, and everyone around you

A very good friend of mine struggled with this (heck, don't we all on some level?).  For almost the first six years of my sobriety, he would come to meetings, sit at the same table as me, even help me cook breakfasts at a Saturday morning meeting.  He knew all about the program, the Big Book, etc... yet, he still struggled with staying sober.  He could darn near recite Dr Bob's Opinion from the Big Book, yet even showed up to a few meetings completely drunk.  It was the difference between having knowledge in his head vs in his heart.

Somewhere along the way about a year ago, it clicked for him. He finally got Step 1 and inherently knew in his heart that he was powerless over alcohol, and that he finally wanted to stay sober more than he wanted to drink.  For years, he came around because a part of him KNEW that he didn't drink like others, that he needed to be there.  He kept going back out because only PART of him felt that way.  When the rest of him quit fighting it - surrendered and accepted that he was completely powerless - and trying to find ways to work around it, it finally clicked.

The point is, he kept coming around.  Even if he wasn't always doing the right thing, he was at least putting himself in the right places as best he could at the time.  Good to see ya, Tyler

I'm doing well these days.  Just got back from a tropical vacation where I did my first HIM.  Returning to the office today and cooking at a breakfast meeting tomorrow.  ALL are things that I wouldn't be doing if I were still drinking.  Life is Good.

Ah Rushtogether, it is so very good to hear that you are picking yourself up each time and giving it another shot.  Thanks for checking in.

The thread you started has really cheered me and inspired me on many an occasion.

Here's to another day of sobriety (I'm raising a glass of water in toast) to y'all.

Thanks for asking.

I couldn't be better, and I'm doing my best to help the still suffering alcoholic like many have done for me.  You know who your are!  It feels good to do something for someone else...

I'm doing well

I've been getting to more meetings that I have in a long while, and I'm kinda cooking at a Saturday morning breakfast meeting again.  I cooked there for about 3 years, but gave it up because I simply burned out on it, but I've been back lately and am kinda looking forward to keeping it going.

Overall, life is good!  How about yourself?

Don't give up.  You're, by FAR, in the toughest year.  It gets a lot better and a lot easier.

For me, one of the keys was in finding balance with everything - including A.A. -  because I can complicate the Hell out of, and over-do, anything.  After awhile, like anything else, you'll find your groove.  I'm sure of it.