Subject: RE: Becoming SoberSo in the interest of being honest (we're only as sick as our secrets, right? ), I had a slip last Thursday. I had been thinking about having a few drinks for days ... but I went to extra meetings, made phone calls, prayed my off ... all the stuff that's supposed to save you. But I made the decision to drink anyway. The reasons aren't that important. The funny thing is that it wasn't as fun and interesting as I thought it could be. And it wasn't the horror long-timers say it will be if I drink again ... it was much more subtle than that. Nothing awful happened that night. But it's the aftermath that's been the teacher: I felt terrible the next day, missed some work, didn't eat as cleanly as I like, missed a workout, and I am still dealing with some sluggishness and brain fog. I'm trying hard to not live in this place of guilt and regret too long, but I know it is important to look at what happened so I can make the necessary adjustments so I can handle myself better in the future.
I have to say, though, that my Type A personality is so peeved that instead of being on day 114, I'm on day 4. My sobriety date was the exact same as my first day free from compulsive eating and smoking and now I have two different days to keep track of. This drives me crazy. I know it's silly, but it's true for me.
Anyway ... here we go ... day 4 (again ). |