TAN #203: TANese New Year - Horsing Around (Page 41)

Road trips are so much fun. Different than when I was a kid though. Driving to Colorado last week we had a Wifi hot spot in the car, a charger pack and car charger cords for all devices ensuring no one ran out of juice -- Kindle, iPad, iPad mini, 4 iPhones, laptop, and sattelite radio. 

BACK IN MY DAY we had to read a book, sleep, or talk to each other. Weird.

Also, people have many relationships in their life, so do they do that to all of them?  Again, do they keep it up when a new relationship starts so they are stalking a half dozen people at once?  Or just move on to the next target?  Or is it just one "lucky" person.

Also, what is his goal?  Is he trying to get you back or just being mean?  Is it an attempt at reconciliation or is it revenge?  I'm curious about the motivation.

Sadly to say, I SORT OF stalked a girl for a week in college.  I didn't think she was telling me the truth about the breakup so hid out in the bushes to see if she went out on a date (and I was right).  Not proud of it - stupid kid stuff.  Now I wouldn't waste my time (well, at least I hope so.  never know how you feel after a breakup).  I had a dream the other night that my wife left me and woke up in a panic.  Rolled over and spooned her for about 2 hours until the alarm went off.  So if she just left out of the blue?  I'm sure I wouldn't just "let her go" without understanding or a fight.  (not a violent fight, but I think you know what I mean).

I'm 50/50 on them.  I LOVE traveling and trips with friends.  But any amount of time in a car for this guy?  Get's a bit uncomfortable.  Now if it was an RV or something?  Giggity...

Road trip to Vegas - There are a couple TANers here at this very moment.  The wife may see them at her show before I even do.  I'm not sure I want to go to the show AGAIN... 

I think the problem with social media is people need to know what others think of them too much.  We all have the desire, I'm not knocking that.  But I have learned that if I'm not going to like what I see, then I don't look.

It's probably hard as a kid.  You want to be on social media.  They can't just not do it.  But if someone says they are ugly or other negative stuff?  They get hurt.  Basically, all that stuff happened before, but not you KNOW about it!

I'm going to teach them about the "block" function and "unfriend" ASAP.

My sis does not let her kids do social media at all. She and her husband deleted all of their accounts to set an example. The oldest one is 13, in 7th grade, and he is literally the only kid anyone knows who does not have accounts, but you know what? He is one of the most popular kids in school and is fighting off the girls like crazy. Go figure. 

Well, that would be my first choice but I was also being realistic.  I'm glad someone pulled it off. 

I would think it would be next to impossible to keep kids from doing it.  Just got to keep them safe if they do.

Wow, remember when that phrase was used for a different type of HS activity?

That's the million dollar question. I have NO IDEA. His last contact with me was unsolicited advice about how to keep myself safe (not from him, just in general). Weird. And the one before that was asking that I remove a photo of him from a Google + album because he doesn't want to be associated with - well - I can't repeat what he called me on BT.

I think there's just some disconnect where he can't NOT contact me. There must be. I also think he's now trying to be nice (despite the fact that it's a criminal offense every time he contacts me) so that I drop my order against him. 

Love them. Love them solo, with friends, with dogs...

Duke and I are headed cross country in May so he can live with my parents while the Army takes over my life again. We are going to have SO MUCH FUN!

One of the best road trips was a few years ago with a guy I was dating. We drove down to the keys and listened to Tina Fey's Bossypants audio book. Hilarious. I highly recommend that one.

Not that I need to tell you, but don't do that...

Does it show up on his files/records or something?  Is there a reason he wouldn't want it there (OTHER than to bother you?).

I would thing that if he's not planning to bother you, then it shouldn't matter if it's there or not.  That would be like if I was banned from a bar I never went to.  Doesn't matter if they won't let me in if I never plan to drink there.

One of the most memorable trips I ever took was to clear my head after a breakup.  Threw my MTB, a tent, and bought a new 35mm camera and drove to Moab and Arches national park.  Road slickrock and 4 wheeled and hiked through Arches.  AMAZING.  I did wish at times I had company to share the experience with, but still, I'll never forget it.

I have a different sort of perspective on Facebook, mySpace and BT.  I was back in college myself and my own kids were also in college when the social media started.  I just went with the flow.  I signed up for accounts but was not active, more a social scientist (another word for lurker), than a user.  I saw how the students I worked with used it and dealt with problems when they happened.  It was interesting adaptive behavior.  I knew what my kids were doing better than I would have otherwise both because of being close to a college community myself and because I saw what they were posting.  My girls are pretty conservative and very private so there is and never was anything to delete.  Not so for some of the kids at the Combustion Lab at Georgia Tech.   There will never be another first generation of young people on social media.  It was fun to be around.  

Yeah as a communications professional I would have a hard time cutting off communications outlets from my kids. I think at some point the kids will start to feel "left out", but maybe not. Maybe it's just not that big of a deal. The other kids that age I hang with are always "on" their accounts, but I'm not sure it's as big of a deal as some people think it is to them. 

Getting deep here, but I think it's more of a "keep-me-entertained" thing than a social thing, at least for middle schoolers. They really don't have that many meaningful interactions, but they jump from account to account constantly looking and watching, almost ADD-style. No offense to anyone with kids who have actual ADD, but I think the non-stop entertainment requirement is growing so rapidly and becoming so commonplace. 

It will show up as a civil offense on background checks - which can prevent you from purchasing a firearm, and may prevent you from getting certain jobs. 

I'm trying to get his against me dropped, mainly to protect my military career. His against me is like your example of being banned from a bar you never want to go to...

What a slacker! :-P

You have one on you too?  Was that payback or were you doing anything?

I figured you needed to have proof of harassment (phone messages, texts, FB posts, witnesses) to get one.

Can you just get one for anyone even if they never did anything?  Just walk into the police station or whatever and say "I want a restraining order against such and such"?

It was payback. I've got e-mails from him saying basically that.

You have to list what happened and when - but it varies by judge on who makes you show proof. I showed up with ~30 pages of messages/texts/e-mails to get mine. He listed that I did something that I didn't do - and I can prove that I did not call him that day, nor was I even in AZ. The lawyer I went to was surprised a judge would even sign off on that order.

They are VERY easy to get - but to have it upheld in court, the plaintiff has the burden of proof. 

Well, you got yourself into a fine kettle of fish...

And THAT'S why I lock myself indoors, play solo sports, and don't talk to people... 

I'm going to be a nun, I think

As a present to myself, I bought a shiny new phone, and it's going to have a shiny new phone number to go with it!

I know people resist, but I'm a big fan of changing your phone number every now and then. I've changed numbers 3 or 4 times in the past 10 years and I have no problems staying in contact with the people I want to stay in contact with. There's been one or two instances where my grandma dialed an old number, but it was quickly resolved. The idea of old boyfriends/friends not having my most current number is a big appeal to me!

What kinda phone??

Nexus 5. My friend who is a tech god (in my eyes) suggested that and a switch to Ting. So, I'm trying the whole no-contract thingy. They use Sprint's network, and you pay for what you use each month. There are "bins" for talk minutes, text and data, and you get billed based on that. In theory, I like it. We'll see if I like it in real life