Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 43)

Since you asked....I would take out everything about PRs and  30 days of running.  That's way too intense for most women to think about, and they may stop reading right there.  Yes, you want an active woman, but keep in mind many are not going to be that intense about running.  Would you be ok with meeting a woman who runs 3 miles, 3-4x days a week?  All of that running might be intimidating for some.  Personally I'm a 7x Ironman and go back and forth between listing that in my profile vs just saying "I'm a triathlete".  Currently I have Ironman in my profile, but I follow it up with "You do not need to be a triathlete, introduce me to what you like to do"

Overall, you may also not be getting as many responses since you are just "looking to date".  Great that you are honest about your intentions but many women who are looking for a relationship might pass you by.  

not single (sorry i cannot help but check this thread sometimes!  i like you guys) but i want to change this paragraph so badly.  if i met you at a party and this was your introduction, i would roll my eyes at how BRAGGY this is and walk away.  even as a triathlete/runner, i find it off-putting.

try: I am a 41 but feel 31. I like to try new things and am very active. Last August, I completed my first Ironman Distance Triathlon. I like to run a lot and am building to a marathon. 

So much less abrasive and braggy but still communicates that running/fitness will be a priority.

x2 to the ladies above me. I actually skipped right over that PR stuff when I read it.
And I ran 3 marathons last year so it's not like I'm "not into" running - I just don't care to read about PRs.

Not a chick, but I just say that I do triathlons.  Girls don't really care that I can run a sub 40 10K or a sub 1:30 half.  Most women will simply require a guy that takes care of himself.  

Compare that to the meat heads that brag about how much they can bench press and squat.

I'll weigh in. I'm currently active on match.com (have been for a couple of weeks now) but haven't been out with anyone yet- I'm too busy and no one is interesting enough.

To the guy that asks why girls send an email or two and then radio silence... you weren't interesting or charming enough in your emails. Your profile got them interested, they wanted to see what you'd have to say in an email, and then somewhere in your response you lost them. An intriguing profile or shared interests isn't enough... if these girls are anything like me, they want to make sure you're worth meeting. And if your email game isn't very tight, they'll use that as another filter and just drop off. In fact that happened with a guy last week. He seemed interesting enough, wrote me an email, I wrote back, he wrote another one that was sooo dull and uninspired that I didn't bother to write back. Just because he and I share interests doesn't mean he's worth meeting.

So perhaps you need to up your email writing game. Be witty, share another piece of information about yourself that isn't in your profile, comment on something in theirs in a clever way. Maybe add a humble brag in at this point. Don't be boring and write two sentances along the lines of "Oh cool about that thing you just mentioned. So what do you do?" BORING. Not worth meeting. Next!

That's why I try to get a number as quickly as possible to set up a date.  The chance is too high of a girl getting bored after a string of emails, and it shouldn't take 5-10 emails for a girl to be interested in a first date.

I agree, but if I'm talking to someone I want to meet, then I'd rather see them ASAP than keep going back and forth online.  Different strokes, I suppose.

Preferably taken in the bathroom mirror. And making a duckface.
 

Wow - that version of my profile was not meant to sound "braggy" at all, but I see how it can be taken that way.  I re-wrote that profile a couple days after my PR and I was really proud of it.  Last year, I ran that 1/2 marathon in 2:04...this year 1:36:55....  I was way stoked about that.  

This however leads to another of my points about the frustration of online dating.  You really can't get to know someone by what is written in a profile.  It is easy to misunderstand something that was written.  

A total jerk can sound like a great guy or girl, and the exact opposite can happen also.  

In real life, I've been told that I'm very charming, witty, funny and I can flirt with the best of them. I have also been told I'm good looking.  I'm easy to talk to, and women usually feel very comfortable talking to me.  I don't have a problem talking to women and getting their phone #'s in a bar setting or at a party.   In the online world, it doesn't seem to matter what I write in my profile, or on what dating site I write it... I can't get a date to save my life.  

I will re-work it, based on some of your suggestions.  I doubt it will matter as I've had versions of my profile that didn't even mention running or triathlons...I still didn't get responses.  I've had women that know me help me change it...still nothing.  I do however appreciate all of your feedback.  

I will not change the part about looking for my soul mate.  I don't ever want to mislead women.  Also - if it wasn't clear before...I am not bothered by not hearing back from women.  I figure they saw something in a profile that they didn't like.  No biggie - I don't take it personally.  If I'm not someones cup of tea...oh well.  I don't need the validation of a woman on a dating site to know I'm a good guy, and will be a good catch for some lady some day.

Did I mention that I am confident?  LOL

LMAO... I won't even email a girl if all she has is pictures of her face...  I learned that lesson the hard way! 

I'm quite sure that is not the issue.  I usually say something witty, charming or funny.  I always ask a question about something in their profile.  I almost always mention something about myself, and I always end with my first name.  

I've literally tried all angles....  at the risk of being lambasted by the ladies in this forum...I"ll post a couple of opening emails I've sent out.... (I can take it ladies, I have pretty thick skin.)  

You ask for advice, get GREAT advice from actual females who are active on dating sites, and proceed to tell them they are wrong? What are we in Tri Talk?

OK - here it is...the new and improved profile.  Per the suggestions of the ladies (and the 1 dude) on this forum... I made it less braggy and per TJ - I tried to tap into that humorous side a little bit.  

I'm posting the link to my profile...you can see what pics I have posted as well.  Let me know what you think...don't hold back.  (Oh god, what did I just ask for?)  

Chad's profile

LMAO Lisa...  Very funny.  

The reason I'm quite sure that the issue was not my lack of being witty or charming or funny is because she emailed me back and told me.    

She said that after reading through my profile..the reason she didn't set up a date was because she prefers to workout in the gym, and I prefer to workout by running.  She finds it very attractive to workout with a man who "knows his way around the gym" and in one of my emails I mentioned that of all the activity I do, the gym is my least favorite.  

I didn't tell freckle_face she was wrong.  I said "I'm quite sure that is not the issue."  I also said I would post a couple emails...  I said that, because even though "I'm quite sure" that I'm being funny or charming, maybe I'm not.  

As promised...here is a couple of sample emails.... I am also linking the profile of the lady I emailed. Feedback is appreciated

Profile 1

Email:

Profile 2

Email:

WTF - a woman on my "match" list that lives in Gig Harbor! I didn't think such a thing existed.   You had me at football, working out, cars and snowboarding. Oh wait, that's not how that line from the movie goes.  I eat healthier when I am training, but food is a weakness for me. I still love junk food.  Do you snowboard often?  Chad