TAN#155: TANkful Yanti's still alive (Page 49)

ha, go back to thinking poorly of others.  i've had a traumatic year as well, and if people haven't been supportive i've basically shut them out of my life.  I figured if they can't respect the fact that i am the one actually physically and emotionally suffering every day, I just don't need to deal with them. 

i respect your thoughts gymbo, but when other people are being selfish in my hour of need, i'm done with them.  i give plenty when i'm able but when the love bank is tapped, i'm out.

I am hoping to pick up that dream where it left off...

I like the idea of that, but in my case, I really don't have that many girlfriends. ONE has checked in on me in the past month, admitting to being a bad friend. ONE.

But what do you do when you don't have great friends to begin with? I don't want to get rid of the only ones I have...

i am talking about a specific crisis, and the people that are in my friends and family realllly show their true colors.  i have ALWAYS valued good friends over many friends.  it takes time and work from both sides to grow those relationships.  and i recognize that my closest friends are my friends from college, and i don't work very hard on developing deep friendships here, and that sucks sometimes but it's partly my fault.  and some of my very best friends have betrayed this and it hurts but they aren't my friends anymore.  acquaintances?  riding buddies, work friends, whatever, are not really held to this standard because i don't really tell them important things, i lean hard on my closest friends and families. 

unfortunately, i can't dump my mom or my aunt.  so i just avoid.

I'm just saying, in the case of my brother, we never talked that much anyway.  It's always been sort of awkward.  Now that there is a "semi" serious and awkward issue?  I know it's probably VERY hard for him to find any words.  So I can't get mad at him for being the way he is.  Does it sort of hurt?  Sure.  But if he's not comfortable, I can't MAKE him deal with it.  Does he care?  Of course he does.  We are brothers.

I'm not going around looking to make everyone at ease.  I'm just saying that I try to understand who they are and HOW they are and let them deal with it how they want.  Not how I would deal with it or expect them to deal with it.  If that makes sense.

ok, this is more clear.  this is basically what i'm saying, too.  except i don't have nearly as calm or mature of a response to it ;-)

alright, home time for this one. 

I could get used to not working full days...

Havea good one, everyone.

A couple statements are exactly what I was thinking the last few days.

"true colors" could NOT be more true.

"can't dump family" is up there.

What I found as impressive and hopefull was all the well wishes and concerns from SO many people I barely know.  Many times strangers.  So I was just as shocked at the support from many people, as I was shocked at the LACK of support from some of my family.  It's a weird thing.  That's why I realized that people are poeple and they are who they are.  Stangers can be outgoing and compassionate, since that's how they are, and family can be distant.  BUT, the family probably care MORE overall.  God forbid anything bad happen, the family will be far more hurt than a stanger who will probably say "that sucks" and move on in a day.  So I have to look past the actions of some if I know they really care.   

don'tcha hate when tan gets all serious-like?

bewbies.

try redtube....

Well, better not! 

for my mom to not acknowledge my miscarriage.  kills me.  every day.  i don't care how uncomfortable it makes her.  it was her first, and so far, only grandchild.  and she refuses to talk about it.  even when i'm having a bad day and just want to cry to my mommy.  she changes the subject.

that's pretty close to unforgivable to me.  maybe once the grief process is over it will change, but i can't stand talking to her right now.  again, i'm the one emotionally, and at times, physically suffering but i have to respect her discomfort?  i disagree.

more bewbies pls...

(I can give you my gmail, if needed)

Sorry I set the tone in TAN.  :-(  I may go shoot things up in Unchartered3 or MW3 now.

hahahahah it's ok kido.

BAJINGO!

WHERE'S LISA?  we need a minipoll maybe?

Yay!  Time to head home for the day... or in my case out for dinner and then shopping for decorating the flat to make it all happy and festive. 

I should probably have my wallet taken away from me. 

that is heavy. I'm so sorry MEH. Easy for me to say over the inter-webs but I really am. 

Gramma update: her blood count was so low they had to give her 3 units of blood yesterday. She is still vomiting/sick, they are not sure why. Doing a string of tests today but a sonogram and chest xray showed it was likely NOT her heart. Will know more tomorrow.

I will ponder a mini-poll to lighten our spirits. 

Meh - I'm so sorry to hear about this.  Not only what you went through with the miscarriage itself, but also the aftermath with your mom.  I can only hope that one day the rift between you two will begin to mend, but that's something that I wouldn't be able to forgive without the benefit of time and a lot of time apart either.  

That is a lot of blood. My prayers remain with her and your family. I know it's tough as you'd like to be with her.

where is she (relative to you, that is)...i know you don't live near most of your family, right? 

and thanks lisa and monica.  i'm sorry is pretty much all there is to say in this situation....