Too funny.

There is a guy at my gym with his gelled hair and fake n bake tan that parks far away from the entrance to the gym... so he has enough time to smoke his whole cigarette before he gets inside to do his usual swing the weights and make it look like I am doing something routine. 

The other day, I saw a guy get undressed after his workout, take his clothes with him into the shower area, and stuff them into the swimsuit spinner. He spun them for a few seconds, pulled them out and stuffed them into his gym bag.

He then turned to the guy behind him, who was watching with a horrified expression, and proudly said "See? Now I don't have to do laundry tonight."

(shudder)

Going to the gym to people watch is almost as entertaining as Wal-Mart.

I have noticed a lot of this. Some pretty creepy dudes. I always felt very sorry for the women that had to put up with this kind of harrassment.

I see that a lot lately; guys with gallon jugs of water. A gallon? Really?

I always like the 4 sweatshirt guy.  Yea buddy you're huge!

Or the guy that holds his arms out to the side because his muscles are so big.  You know the guy that that thinks he need 6 feet of clearence to accommadate his muscles.  "Here let me turn sideways so my biceps don't knock you over".    

ahh so many funny stories here! I have seen some, if not all of these types of people at either 24 hour or LA fitness in my past memberships. What got me laughing sometimes was seeing these skinny, geeky looking (like I am one to talk I know), teenage boys who come to the gym and then see some good looking group of girls, get a dazed look on their faces and proceed to follow the group around the gym using whatever machine is near them, no matter what it is. It is not their fault really, the hormones and all, but it always made me laugh inside. Someone mentioned lip syncing while treadmilling I used to do that, I also like to sing under my breath when I run outside (I dont use my MP3 player when I run outside though).

something that did not happen at the gym but still makes me laugh, I was getting off the bus in the bus tunnell in Seattle and heading towards the stairs and this guy behind me start pushing people out of the way apologizing because he was in a hurry and late for work etc...well he gets to the stairs and has a choice, stairs or escalator...you guessed it, escalator all the way, which he had to wait in line for. I was all the way up to the street and walking down the side walk before he made it to the top, Priceless!

I know to the people in my gym I am one of the weird ones.  I've got all kinds of freaky tan lines on my arms and back and I swim for an hour and a half non-stop or do hard intervals on 10 seconds rest, etc..  Mostly have floaters at my pool so swimming freestyle for more then 1 length is kind of unusual. 


I'm hoping somewhere there is a forum with creepy old guys complaining about the guys that don't air dry their junk in the locker room.  I'm sure they think it prevents getting jungle rot or something.


My gym has most of these types of people (except those hot girls in skimpy clothing, man I gotta change gyms) but there is one guy that stands out.  I'm sure this guy is a fine law abiding citizen but he wears those 70's style rapist glasses and comes to the gym just to sleep in the chairs by the pool.  He sits in the hot tub for ten minutes then sits around and reads or falls asleep for longer then I care to wait around and find out.... at least the hour that I'm there.  I've never seen him workout and he's certainly not in good shape for a guy that I see at the gym every day.

Edited by protoplasm72 2009-09-01 10:33 PM

By sheer coincidence, I received this email this afternoon:

http://www.goldsgym.com/healthy/newsletter/2009-09/fitiquette-8-rules-of-gym-courtesy.php?ref_id=2183&ref_t=Z&originid=54520158

Hey if you have a problem with me just tell me, OK?

I am at a new place for me for a few weeks.

Old naked guys being well naked in the hot tub, whirlpool, spa whatever you want to call it.

Do you count Nascar jacksets, hats and shirts at the gym also

I thought you were talking about ME!

I used to work out on campus at a decent-sized university, complete with frats and sororities.

- They had specific times that various sororities were "allowed" to use the gym. Enforced, of course, by the members of said sororities. "AKA b8!ch better not think she can use the adductor until 10:25!"

- These chicks, whatever else you want to say about them, could seriously crank on the adductor/abductor machine. Whoa.

- Their talk about their food intake, though, was horrifying. Like, out-of-Hollywood horrifying.

- They did the incline to 100 and hang on thing, too. I was like, "Um, you are walking flat, but tilted backwards. Why not just walk flat?"

- Now the boys, they were fun. Oh, the stink eye I got when I dared to venture down towards the weights. I steered clear of there. And no self-respecting frat boy would EVER be on the cardio machines. Plenty of non-lettered guys were, but I never saw one guy rockin' his letters on ANY cardio equipment. Same as I never saw a single lettered chick in the weight area.

Fortunately, most college girls are rather modest/embarrassed about their bodies, so the nekkidity in the locker room was pretty low. Except for the profs. Seriously, Dr., I will NOT be able to take you seriously in your next conference talk if I've seen you nekkid. Put on clothes!!!

Now, I will say that for about two weeks there, some of y'all may have wandered into my gym and snerked at the chick on the stationary bike spinning at about a 35 cadence with zero resistance with her head on her arms. Honestly, that girl had NO business being at the gym. Hopefully, you wouldn't have noticed my tears, too. D@mn, patellar tendonitis HURTS, but the athletic trainer was right, the spinning helped!

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The worst is having to ask people to get your wallet out, because you can't reach your jeans pockets.

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I hate to say it, but I'm a "no leg day guy", only during the spring/summer when I'm hitting the bike and running. I save the leg days for the colder seasons.

Was thinking about trying to scrape up the cash for a gym membership, but after reading this thread, think I will pass.........

How do these guys wipe their ?

But it's more fun than watching TV while you workout. 

Love all the stories so far, these could be told endlessly as far as I'm concerned.

I always joke with my wife that the ones who like to check themselves out a lot are signed up for Strut Class.  Strut Class runs all day long, and while you don't get a good workout, you sure feel good about yourself when you are done.

We have a Red Auerbach guy that I see about once a quarter - Looks like he is literally enroute from Boston to Sarasota and stops by for a quick spin on the recumbant every 3 months.  Older guy mid to late 60s, over weight, white shoes, white zanzabelts pulled up to his Nipples,  and some kind of velour shirt, but the money item is the unlit cigar hanging out of his mouth for the entire ride.