Mad Manatee Mentors 2013: CLOSED (exc/ Pop Tart bribes) (Page 87)

Originally posted by jogo

I have a little rant, mostly about myself. I am mad at me.

I am trying, honest I am, really trying to turn this whole trainer thing into a positive.  I still feel humiliated and like it was my fault.  I keep telling myself that I am the customer and part of me wants to be really mad.  I have looked back at all of the things that he did not do for me. He would only correct my form if I would ask.  He would only give me heavier weights if I asked.  He never talked to me about my goals of training.  He would talk to me about what his plan was for the day, if I asked,  but never a goal, never a focus, never a measure of progress.  There were so many things that I should have demanded.  I liked him as a person.  I had fun and never felt like I had to push myself or work hard around him.  Now I am kicking myself for wasting all that money. 

I should've had a clear goal for myself.  I should've demanded that he push me.  There are so many should have's.  What I shouldn't have done is been a friend to this a$$hole.  I shouldn't have listened to his stories about his boyfriend, or his kitchen remodel, or his reasons for dropping out of his triathlon training group (he was mad at another trainer).  I should've seen what kind of person he was.  I should've demanded a trainer that could be professional.   This has been such a learning lesson but I am more mad at myself than I am at him.  I should've thought more about myself and my goals.   I have to learn how to be selfish about my goals.  I never think I am good enough and by not working hard, I can keep coming up with an excuse as to why I don't progress.  This trainer was a total enabler and fed my low self esteem.  He enabled me to pretend I was working without really working.  I am totally mad at myself. 

No MORE!!  I am worth more.   I am worth hard work and someone who supports that, starting with myself.  Every day I am going to tell my self that I am worth this run, this bike, this swim.  I deserve it.  I deserve to give myself the gift of a goal and work towards it.  I am worthy of a goal. I am worthy of giving 100% to myself. 

I am going to start setting weekly goals in my log.  I will accomplish these goals.  I will measure progress.  I will demand more of me.  

I have let this get in my head all weekend.  Enough is enough.  Time to move on, learn and grow.   

Thank you for listening.  Head is clearer.  So happy I have a pod to help me process through this.  {{{MELONPRESSES}}}, and they are big melons, to everyone!!!   Thank you all!!!   I am making a promise to myself and you all to set goals and put the work in.  Enough whining.  Relentless forward progress!

Originally posted by jogo

I have a little rant, mostly about myself. I am mad at me.

I am trying, honest I am, really trying to turn this whole trainer thing into a positive.  I still feel humiliated and like it was my fault.  I keep telling myself that I am the customer and part of me wants to be really mad.  I have looked back at all of the things that he did not do for me. He would only correct my form if I would ask.  He would only give me heavier weights if I asked.  He never talked to me about my goals of training.  He would talk to me about what his plan was for the day, if I asked,  but never a goal, never a focus, never a measure of progress.  There were so many things that I should have demanded.  I liked him as a person.  I had fun and never felt like I had to push myself or work hard around him.  Now I am kicking myself for wasting all that money. 

I should've had a clear goal for myself.  I should've demanded that he push me.  There are so many should have's.  What I shouldn't have done is been a friend to this a$$hole.  I shouldn't have listened to his stories about his boyfriend, or his kitchen remodel, or his reasons for dropping out of his triathlon training group (he was mad at another trainer).  I should've seen what kind of person he was.  I should've demanded a trainer that could be professional.   This has been such a learning lesson but I am more mad at myself than I am at him.  I should've thought more about myself and my goals.   I have to learn how to be selfish about my goals.  I never think I am good enough and by not working hard, I can keep coming up with an excuse as to why I don't progress.  This trainer was a total enabler and fed my low self esteem.  He enabled me to pretend I was working without really working.  I am totally mad at myself. 

No MORE!!  I am worth more.   I am worth hard work and someone who supports that, starting with myself.  Every day I am going to tell my self that I am worth this run, this bike, this swim.  I deserve it.  I deserve to give myself the gift of a goal and work towards it.  I am worthy of a goal. I am worthy of giving 100% to myself. 

I am going to start setting weekly goals in my log.  I will accomplish these goals.  I will measure progress.  I will demand more of me.  

I have let this get in my head all weekend.  Enough is enough.  Time to move on, learn and grow.   

Thank you for listening.  Head is clearer.  So happy I have a pod to help me process through this.  {{{MELONPRESSES}}}, and they are big melons, to everyone!!!   Thank you all!!!   I am making a promise to myself and you all to set goals and put the work in.  Enough whining.  Relentless forward progress!

Originally posted by kgore

I agree with what they said. You are worth SO MUCH more attention than what you received! Having to ask for improvement/changes/feedback is NOT how to be trained! Please go talk to the gym, and then get back into it--find another trainer (if you wish to keep using one, that is), and shop around--find one that is a good fit and will work with/for YOU--not for their own interest. You deserve it.

Originally posted by jogo

I have a little rant, mostly about myself. I am mad at me.

I am trying, honest I am, really trying to turn this whole trainer thing into a positive.  I still feel humiliated and like it was my fault.  I keep telling myself that I am the customer and part of me wants to be really mad.  I have looked back at all of the things that he did not do for me. He would only correct my form if I would ask.  He would only give me heavier weights if I asked.  He never talked to me about my goals of training.  He would talk to me about what his plan was for the day, if I asked,  but never a goal, never a focus, never a measure of progress.  There were so many things that I should have demanded.  I liked him as a person.  I had fun and never felt like I had to push myself or work hard around him.  Now I am kicking myself for wasting all that money. 

I should've had a clear goal for myself.  I should've demanded that he push me.  There are so many should have's.  What I shouldn't have done is been a friend to this a$$hole.  I shouldn't have listened to his stories about his boyfriend, or his kitchen remodel, or his reasons for dropping out of his triathlon training group (he was mad at another trainer).  I should've seen what kind of person he was.  I should've demanded a trainer that could be professional.   This has been such a learning lesson but I am more mad at myself than I am at him.  I should've thought more about myself and my goals.   I have to learn how to be selfish about my goals.  I never think I am good enough and by not working hard, I can keep coming up with an excuse as to why I don't progress.  This trainer was a total enabler and fed my low self esteem.  He enabled me to pretend I was working without really working.  I am totally mad at myself. 

No MORE!!  I am worth more.   I am worth hard work and someone who supports that, starting with myself.  Every day I am going to tell my self that I am worth this run, this bike, this swim.  I deserve it.  I deserve to give myself the gift of a goal and work towards it.  I am worthy of a goal. I am worthy of giving 100% to myself. 

I am going to start setting weekly goals in my log.  I will accomplish these goals.  I will measure progress.  I will demand more of me.  

I have let this get in my head all weekend.  Enough is enough.  Time to move on, learn and grow.   

Thank you for listening.  Head is clearer.  So happy I have a pod to help me process through this.  {{{MELONPRESSES}}}, and they are big melons, to everyone!!!   Thank you all!!!   I am making a promise to myself and you all to set goals and put the work in.  Enough whining.  Relentless forward progress!

Originally posted by amd723Although I've never tried this technique , I understand that it can be really valuable for self esteem - every morning look in the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful, worthy, strong etc you are. Supposedly, you feel silly at first, but then it starts to take hold. Maybe that would work for you.

Originally posted by jogo

I have a little rant, mostly about myself. I am mad at me.

I am trying, honest I am, really trying to turn this whole trainer thing into a positive.  I still feel humiliated and like it was my fault.  I keep telling myself that I am the customer and part of me wants to be really mad.  I have looked back at all of the things that he did not do for me. He would only correct my form if I would ask.  He would only give me heavier weights if I asked.  He never talked to me about my goals of training.  He would talk to me about what his plan was for the day, if I asked,  but never a goal, never a focus, never a measure of progress.  There were so many things that I should have demanded.  I liked him as a person.  I had fun and never felt like I had to push myself or work hard around him.  Now I am kicking myself for wasting all that money. 

I should've had a clear goal for myself.  I should've demanded that he push me.  There are so many should have's.  What I shouldn't have done is been a friend to this a$$hole.  I shouldn't have listened to his stories about his boyfriend, or his kitchen remodel, or his reasons for dropping out of his triathlon training group (he was mad at another trainer).  I should've seen what kind of person he was.  I should've demanded a trainer that could be professional.   This has been such a learning lesson but I am more mad at myself than I am at him.  I should've thought more about myself and my goals.   I have to learn how to be selfish about my goals.  I never think I am good enough and by not working hard, I can keep coming up with an excuse as to why I don't progress.  This trainer was a total enabler and fed my low self esteem.  He enabled me to pretend I was working without really working.  I am totally mad at myself. 

No MORE!!  I am worth more.   I am worth hard work and someone who supports that, starting with myself.  Every day I am going to tell my self that I am worth this run, this bike, this swim.  I deserve it.  I deserve to give myself the gift of a goal and work towards it.  I am worthy of a goal. I am worthy of giving 100% to myself. 

I am going to start setting weekly goals in my log.  I will accomplish these goals.  I will measure progress.  I will demand more of me.  

I have let this get in my head all weekend.  Enough is enough.  Time to move on, learn and grow.   

Thank you for listening.  Head is clearer.  So happy I have a pod to help me process through this.  {{{MELONPRESSES}}}, and they are big melons, to everyone!!!   Thank you all!!!   I am making a promise to myself and you all to set goals and put the work in.  Enough whining.  Relentless forward progress!

Originally posted by Artemis

JOGO starts today!  I am 1/1.  Did 26 minutes on the bike and then did my 20 minute run after.  My legs are toast!  I forgot what it was like to do a brick.  Or, more likely, I blocked the memory of what it was like.

I'm a little frustrated with myself - probably being too hard.  I feel like a poser on my bike.  I haven't ridden in 2 - 3 years.  My engine sucks!  I want to be better and faster NOW like I used to be, so I feel down on myself the entire time I am riding.  I know it's not a good thing and I need to be more patient with myself, but it's hard when I'm remembering how I used to be able to ride for much longer.

Originally posted by TriAya

It'll come back. Faster than it did before, faster than it took to build it in the first place. You know that, that's what you would tell me if I posted it

I had to remember today how freakin' excited I was to be able to shuffle down the street in flipflops as a first outdoor sojourn after one of the whopping illnesses.

There may have been a small cat following me, now that I think about it.

Originally posted by TriAya Oh dear. I meant to save the last of the take-home cake for Mutti, but it was so cold and lonely and afraid, so I had to nestle it in the comfort of my warm belly.

Originally posted by amd723

I immediately thought of this little ditty:

 

http://www.oocities.org/earthfiles/austinpowers-getinmybelly.wav

 

 

 

Originally posted by rrrunner

Skrat posted on his blog that he had to make the difficult decision to do the HIM instead of the full.

Whenever you check in, Skrat, know that we're behind you either way!!!! (Still a great view)

Originally posted by jogo

I have a little rant, mostly about myself. I am mad at me.

I am trying, honest I am, really trying to turn this whole trainer thing into a positive.  I still feel humiliated and like it was my fault.  I keep telling myself that I am the customer and part of me wants to be really mad.  I have looked back at all of the things that he did not do for me. He would only correct my form if I would ask.  He would only give me heavier weights if I asked.  He never talked to me about my goals of training.  He would talk to me about what his plan was for the day, if I asked,  but never a goal, never a focus, never a measure of progress.  There were so many things that I should have demanded.  I liked him as a person.  I had fun and never felt like I had to push myself or work hard around him.  Now I am kicking myself for wasting all that money. 

I should've had a clear goal for myself.  I should've demanded that he push me.  There are so many should have's.  What I shouldn't have done is been a friend to this a$$hole.  I shouldn't have listened to his stories about his boyfriend, or his kitchen remodel, or his reasons for dropping out of his triathlon training group (he was mad at another trainer).  I should've seen what kind of person he was.  I should've demanded a trainer that could be professional.   This has been such a learning lesson but I am more mad at myself than I am at him.  I should've thought more about myself and my goals.   I have to learn how to be selfish about my goals.  I never think I am good enough and by not working hard, I can keep coming up with an excuse as to why I don't progress.  This trainer was a total enabler and fed my low self esteem.  He enabled me to pretend I was working without really working.  I am totally mad at myself. 

No MORE!!  I am worth more.   I am worth hard work and someone who supports that, starting with myself.  Every day I am going to tell my self that I am worth this run, this bike, this swim.  I deserve it.  I deserve to give myself the gift of a goal and work towards it.  I am worthy of a goal. I am worthy of giving 100% to myself. 

I am going to start setting weekly goals in my log.  I will accomplish these goals.  I will measure progress.  I will demand more of me.  

I have let this get in my head all weekend.  Enough is enough.  Time to move on, learn and grow.   

Thank you for listening.  Head is clearer.  So happy I have a pod to help me process through this.  {{{MELONPRESSES}}}, and they are big melons, to everyone!!!   Thank you all!!!   I am making a promise to myself and you all to set goals and put the work in.  Enough whining.  Relentless forward progress!

Originally posted by Muskrat37



What? Someone reads that blog? LOL

Thanks very much for your support. I really appreciate it. It was a very tough decision to change. Felt kind of like I was failing at my original goals, however Joanne helped me see the light. She said to me - do you want to suffer through and IM, or kill a half?

I want to compete this year. My goal is not to just finish - so I decided to change to the 1/2. Life has just been to crazy and hectic for me to have any consistency in my training this year. I was worried that if I stuck to my guns, I would end up injured. My base fitness is good, so I don't think I will have any issues being ready in 12 weeks. I'm also doing an Oly on 6/30.

Some of you know - I did a road trip to Denver. I took my bike, and did a couple runs and swims along the way. I took a lot of pics and I made a slideshow. Feel free to check it out.

Skrats Road Trip Slideshow : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AsfYW5ikj4&feature=youtu.be

Originally posted by Richardsdrr Stick me on the DL, I can't walk

Originally posted by jobaxas

I am this person!  If a relationship - professional or personal fails for whatever reason, I will feel like this.  It's tough to deal with I know and I empathise.

Talking it through with yourself each day helps, logically you know it's not you.

Think of the positives you did get out of the relationship and the training.  I'm sure it wasn't wasted at all.

Us Manatees are certainly here for you albeit virtually.

Keep your chin up, self esteem is a tricky thing to manage - we all have those days where we don't feel worth much.  I go through that at least daily!

Anyway - you are not in the wrong, but you're right to analyse and work through what happened because if there are things you wish you'd done differently it's good to identify them and not make the same 'mistakes' again.

my 0.02