Need mid-life advice - (beer in one hand, typing with other, banging head on wall)

My friend just graduated from Veterinary school last year. He is 45. I have another friend who is working on her dissertation at 43. i have a couple of other frineds who got MBA's in their 40's

A regular patron here in my library is just finishing his dissertation at 70-something (this guy is a retired oral surgeon)

I went to grad school when I was older ( late 20's early 30's) as well.  It was hard. I did not have kids, but I was supporting myself and my wife by working two jobs 7 days a week. It took me nearly 4 years to finish a degree that on-campus folks usually finish in 2.

So. my advice is that yes, it is entirely possible to go back to school as an adult, and it is very hard. Should you do it? I can't answer that for certain, but I am glad that I did it, and I don't know any one else who has who thought it was a waste.

Find a few local Physical Therapists, call them, offer to buy them lunch while you talk to them about their jobs.  What do they like, what don't they like, what do they actually do at work, what gives them satisfaction, etc... 

Now, if this job still sounds like you, think about what it will mean for your family.  Then, get them all together and ask them what they think.  Then listen.  Don't speak.  Listen.  Keep reapeating this until you can explain their thoughts better than they can.  Now you can explain your desires and wants to them.  How will you as a family overcome all the challenges this will bring?  Not can.  How.  Then do it. 

You will need your family's support to make this change now.  The only way to get it is to show you understand what they think it will mean to them. 

It can be done.  My wife discovered baking after we got married.  She started to study baking/pastry arts after our son was born.  She's now in high demand and competing internationally in a trade she is passionate about.  It still challenges us as a family but we work our way through it.  Getting paid to do something you love is amazing.  Go for it. 

I just wanted to say, please, don't spill the beer.

There are many persons that go through this, and they somehow manage.  You'll be fine.  It sounds like maybe you need a support person or group to talk with close to you.

I'll preface this by saying that I'm still (marginally) doing what I went to college for (20+ years ago). 

If you're convinced PT is where you want to be, then make it happen.  What would it take?  Maybe you'll be 45 when you finish.  SO WHAT!  If you wait another 8 years until the time is right, guess what, you're far less likely to start because now your looking at finishing when your 53. 

Do some creative thinking with the Mrs.  What would it be like if you could finish school in 2 years?  Might mean being a full-time student while the Mrs. works part-time (or maybe full time).   Why do I ask this?  First, it helps answer just how committed you are to the degree.  Second, (and this is based on your post) it immerses you in the program where you're more likely to complete the degree before changing your mind (again).  One thing to consider is what are the job prospects for a BS in Physical Therapy?  Do you need a Masters to be employable?  Would you pursue a Masters degree?  (Maybe part-time?) 

Now might not be a great time to sell a house, but would you need to move to go to school?  Don't know what kind of equity you might get out of it, but $50K would be enough for a frugal family to get through 2 years in many parts of the country.  (You'd probably have additional loans to cover school.)  If you can go to school close to where you live, can you find a job that would reimburse you for educational expenses (like a hospital, or a medical practice)?  Yeah, it puts you back on the "slow-track" but isn't that still getting you where you want to be? 

How much (more) of your life are you gonna drag yourself into work rather than pursue what you really want to do? 

From the time I took my first college course till I graduated, it took me just over 15 years to get my degree.  I've never regretted doing it.  While I was working on my degree I worked a full time job, a part time job, coached my kids soccer teams and made sure I was home for dinner (when not at work), helping the kids with homework, and tucking them in bed.  It was all a lot of hard work.  Rewards?  Kids had a good example for them,  I have a much better job now which pays enough to only have to work the one job, I only work 8 to 5 now, and I have time to TRI!!

 I guess I would say this... if it is college or anything else you want to do, never stop trying to make yourself a better person. 

Neither of my parents started their Bachelor's degree until they were in their forties.  Mum was 50 when she received her teaching degree. 

Both my parents completed their study part time and externally.  Something to keep in mind

 They had three kids (ages 8-12 when they both started) and worked full time.  My dad was retired Navy (25 years) at that stage as well. 

The fact of the matter is -  If this is something that keeps niggling at you then YOU need to do it!  

1: Will your parter support you?? (if you're in a long term relationship?)

2: Will you still have time for your kids?  

3:  Will your employer support your study?  Will they give you time off around exams?  

4:  Do you have someone you can leave your kids with when you need time to complete your study work??

I say go for it if you can!  

To add to this - my sophomore year, we had a 39-year old woman transfer in; she'd done some general coursework 15 some-odd years prior but never finished her degree. I should also add that I was at a very competitive performing arts conservatory - she recieved her BFA in Musical Theatre with the rest of us in 2003. I'm SURE there were people who thought "why is a 40-year old woman wasting her time getting a theatre degree?". She worked really, really hard and the teachers all liked her. And she was sweet, and our class grew to respect her (she was actually one of my better friends at school) - at first, there were people who said mean things behind her back, but I add the caveat that this was a VERY small program where you are on top of your classmates 24/7, and fully of btitchy divas. A larger college isn't like that. Anyway, she was fine - it was what she really wanted to do - now she's in NYC doing some smaller productions and having a good time.

So no, it won't be weird

From my perspective, it was 110% worth it!  I graduated last year with a B.S. at 31 yrs old, married, one child.   I didn't take college seriously enough the first time around out of high school, didn't know what I wanted to major in, ended up leaving early.  Regretted it for many years.  I felt as though I was missing something, not achieving one of my dreams, a college degree.  Sounds corny, eh?

Anyway, filled with rewarding and difficult times.  As an older student (and yes, everyone thought of me as OLD), it was a much better experience than when I was 18-21.  However, there were times that, if not for a VERY supportive husband (and mom/sis who helped with daughter), I may not have continued.   Having your spouse's support is the most important thing, esp. with having children.

My daughter's favorite books are my anatomy and physiology books... she would do her "homework" right beside me...it has positively influenced her life.  I built a great relationship with many of my professors, not afraid to walk into their office and pick their brains or discuss something confusing.   I really got a lot out of it. 

If you plan on working f/t during the day and going to school p/t during the evening, I would advise no more than 2x nights, and a Saturday morning class, if possible.  My worst semester was when I took evening classes in order for my husband to be home with daughter.  He would walk in the house, I would rush out, come home late to him asleep, study in the morning before daughter was up=no time with husband, not even a conservation. It was very hard.  If I had to do another semester like that, I am not sure I would have survived either college or our marriage. 

There were times when I would sit in the parking lot at school with tears of frustration, trying to study for an exam in 15 mins because I spent the day with a sick child, or a closed childcare center, or working all day.  I remember taking my second Organic Chem exam after spending the last 24 hrs awake due to my daughter going to the hospital.  I arrived at the exam exhausted, unprepared, and annoyed with everyone else who knew what was going on.  

 Most days I went to bed at 12am and woke up at 5am.

I spent the last 9 mos "working" for free in a post-grad clinical internship 1-1.5 hrs away, 40hrs /wk. Didn't go to one kindergarten event, the teacher doesn't know me, never been to a PTO meeting, forget girl scouts or anything after school.  The only way I got through the past year was knowing that this coming year, and every year after, I would be able to make my own schedule around my daughter's. I am now able to see her in the morning before she wakes up, get her off of the bus, and even join girl scouts!  Getting through this past year was only possible knowing the end is near.  I would not have been able to do it for more than that.

But now, actually working in this dream career of mine, having patients to see, people to help, it was worth it!  I am doing something that I LOVE, that I enjoy to learn about, that I read about in my free time, that makes me feel good inside, with the income I had desired.   Would I do it over again? ACK---yes!

 Good luck with your decision...I am sure it will be a difficult, well-thought out one.

1.  Two kids, mortgage, wife, is alot to be proud of
2.  You can be quite the example without a degree... trust me, I work with many with high degrees... and they don't show an example as close to as some of the ones I hang with who don't. 
3.  You will be in your late 40's anyway, so why not be there with what you want... in other words, stay on track for your degree, and get it... if that's what you want.  Trust me, I'm 45yo, late or mid 40's come quick!
4.  Ultimately do what's in your heart.  Stop the what-if's, I can't, if only, etc, etc... and go forward with your goal.  Life is not always about the result, it's also about the journey.  If you feel good going to school from now until your late 40's to get your degree, then do it... gosh isn't it better than being 49yo and wishing you had

This is really funny... but I was 27 when I went to college.  Isn't it funny to think that I felt old, LOL!!... and I "was!" old compared to some.  ... but I didn't care, I forged forward with what I wanted and I graduated at age 30 with a BS degree... it changed my life.  If I let the "age" thing get in my way I would have quit day one... but age is only a number, your life and how you live it is infinite.. at least as far as we can see it.
Do what's in your heart... and don't look back...