Other Resources My Cup of Joe » Becoming Sober Rss Feed  
Moderators: k9car363, the bear, DerekL, alicefoeller Reply
Show Per page
 
 
of 34
 
 
2014-01-03 11:16 AM
in reply to: tuwood

User image

Pro
6837
5000100050010010010025
Tejas
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Great work everyone!


2014-01-08 5:26 PM
in reply to: mdg2003

User image

Regular
328
10010010025
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
I have been on BT for about two years, but didn't know about this thread Just stopping by to say congrats to everyone on there sobriety! You guys rock! I have been sober for about 5 1/2 years...one day at a time


Looking forward,

Todd
2014-01-20 9:31 PM
in reply to: RushTogether


498
100100100100252525
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
5 years today.
Went skiing with my kids.
Stoked.
2014-01-20 11:38 PM
in reply to: skibummer

User image

Master
4452
200020001001001001002525
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Originally posted by skibummer 5 years today. Went skiing with my kids. Stoked.

Congrats!

2014-01-21 7:37 AM
in reply to: skibummer

User image

Elite
4372
200020001001001002525
Connecticut
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Originally posted by skibummer5 years today.Went skiing with my kids.Stoked.
Congrats!
2014-01-21 9:07 AM
in reply to: skibummer

User image

Melon Presser
52110
50005000500050005000500050005000500050002000100
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Originally posted by skibummer 5 years today. Went skiing with my kids. Stoked.



2014-01-21 9:09 AM
in reply to: skibummer

User image

Melon Presser
52110
50005000500050005000500050005000500050002000100
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Originally posted by skibummer 5 years today. Went skiing with my kids. Stoked.

2014-12-16 10:01 AM
in reply to: IndoIronYanti

User image

Extreme Veteran
342
10010010025
Colorado
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Bump ... because, well, I needed to. And the holidays. Blech. How's everyone?
2014-12-16 11:07 AM
in reply to: smarti

User image


360
1001001002525
Ottawa, Ontario
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Ah yes, the holidays. I'm a little nervous about the holidays due to all the socializing and the fact at I'll be hanging out at my folks' place and christmas always goes hand in hand with drinking (Mimosa on christmas morning, single malt scotch in the evening, lots of great wines with dinner) and this will be my first christmas without alcohol. Further, we've never really had "that conversation" over the 6 months I've been sober. I'm not worried about falling off the wagon as my family keeps me strongly motivated in my sobriety (and overall health), but it does facilitate some awkward situations and the possibility of having to explain myself, which I admittedly have been putting off.
2014-12-16 4:08 PM
in reply to: SenatorClayDavis

User image

Pro
6837
5000100050010010010025
Tejas
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Congrats on 6 months. If I might offer some advice. I know you probably didn't literally mean that you HAD to explain yourself, but... you don't! I simply tell people I don't drink. If they feel it is their business to ask why, I just tell them I was never very good at it. That usually breaks the ice and everyone will move on to the next subject of conversation. Now when it comes to your family.... they already know you weren't any good at it!
2014-12-17 2:48 PM
in reply to: mdg2003

User image


360
1001001002525
Ottawa, Ontario
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Yeah, I certainly haven't been explaining myself for the last six months, just saying "no thanks" and if necessary adding "I'm taking a break from drinking" but, as I'm sure many of you can relate to, I have a reputation as a heavy drinker and my teetotalling has gotten me quite a few raised eyebrows. It's like if the cookie monster swore off cookies, people would be all "what?!"... although I seem to remember hearing that the cookie monster was into vegetables now or something... so maybe it's not that far fetched.


2014-12-17 3:03 PM
in reply to: SenatorClayDavis

User image

New user
1351
10001001001002525
Austin, Texas
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

That's one of those questions I wish people would think about before asking, along with "So why'd you go to the doctor?" and "So why haven't you two had kids yet!"

2014-12-17 5:07 PM
in reply to: SenatorClayDavis

User image

Elite
5145
500010025
Cleveland
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Originally posted by SenatorClayDavis Yeah, I certainly haven't been explaining myself for the last six months, just saying "no thanks" and if necessary adding "I'm taking a break from drinking" but, as I'm sure many of you can relate to, I have a reputation as a heavy drinker and my teetotalling has gotten me quite a few raised eyebrows. It's like if the cookie monster swore off cookies, people would be all "what?!"... although I seem to remember hearing that the cookie monster was into vegetables now or something... so maybe it's not that far fetched.

 

When you're early in sobriety and going to holiday parties, I think it's important to have an Escape Plan.  For real.

 

Make up something before you even get there that if things get too difficult or too edgy for you, you can just invoke it as "oh, crap... blahblahblah, I gotta run.  Great seeing you all!  Be sure to write, don't eat the Fruit Cake."... and get out of there.  I never needed it when I was young in sobriety, but having it in my pocket, so to speak, when I went out was a big mental help.  It was like an extra layer of armor... I knew that if I got uncomfortable, I could just play that card and get out of there and things would end well that day.  

In time, being around that sort of an environment won't be a challenge, in fact, it won't be anything at all, but especially early on you should make efforts to take whatever steps you need to take to protect your sobriety.

 

Congrats to everyone on another day.  I hope your tomorrow is always better than today.

Merry Christmas, y'all.

2015-04-19 4:40 AM
in reply to: cgregg

Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Thread is to far down

I hit three years a few weeks back, March 29, 2012 last drink. At this point I am not even looking at the beer section in the store anymore
Joe
2015-04-19 10:00 PM
in reply to: Puppetmaster

User image

Master
2800
2000500100100100
Minnetonka, Minnesota
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Thanks for resurfacing the thread. :-)
2015-04-20 12:49 PM
in reply to: RushTogether


14

Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Hi everyone,

Just thought I would let you know that we started a group at FB called Sober Triathlete. It's at www.facebook.com/groups/sobertriathlete if anyone is interested. We have about 30 members from here and slowtwitch.

It's a closed group meaning folks which according to FB is:

The difference is that closed groups can be seen by the public, while secret groups can't. If you create a closed group, the name of it, its members, and its description can be seen by the public—basically everything but the posts in the group.

I hope you all join!

James.


2015-11-03 3:29 PM
in reply to: RushTogether

User image

Extreme Veteran
342
10010010025
Colorado
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Anyone interested in reviving this thread? After years of back and forth, I' finally have a record-for-me 46 days of no alcohol. I don't know what will happen long term (I'm trying that whole "one day at a time thing"), but for now, I am feeling really good - better sleep; losing weight; more energy to exercise and make healthy food choices; more interest, energy, and patience with my daughter so I'm able to give her the quality attention she deserves; a stronger spiritual connection; a more focused and productive work environment ... the list of benefits goes on and on.

I would love to reconnect here, especially with holidays (re: family) coming up. And personally, I have a hard surgery coming up in early December, and I could use all the support possible to make it through that time sane and sober.

Hope everyone is doing well!!
2015-11-03 4:01 PM
in reply to: smarti

User image

Elite
4372
200020001001001002525
Connecticut
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Originally posted by smarti Anyone interested in reviving this thread? After years of back and forth, I' finally have a record-for-me 46 days of no alcohol. I don't know what will happen long term (I'm trying that whole "one day at a time thing"), but for now, I am feeling really good - better sleep; losing weight; more energy to exercise and make healthy food choices; more interest, energy, and patience with my daughter so I'm able to give her the quality attention she deserves; a stronger spiritual connection; a more focused and productive work environment ... the list of benefits goes on and on. I would love to reconnect here, especially with holidays (re: family) coming up. And personally, I have a hard surgery coming up in early December, and I could use all the support possible to make it through that time sane and sober. Hope everyone is doing well!!

46 days is amazing!  Congrats!!  How have you done it?

I love this thread.  It is always great to see the success stories of others in our situation.  I have 3+ years sober now and remember posting in this thread very early on in my journey.  It gives me such inspiration to read how other people handle situations.  It would be great to keep this thread alive for the holidays and beyond.  The trifecta of holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's) are upon us and it is often the most difficult time of year for people.  Having extra support is always a great thing.

2015-11-04 12:10 PM
in reply to: ebshot

User image

Pro
6837
5000100050010010010025
Tejas
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Originally posted by ebshot

Originally posted by smarti Anyone interested in reviving this thread? After years of back and forth, I' finally have a record-for-me 46 days of no alcohol. I don't know what will happen long term (I'm trying that whole "one day at a time thing"), but for now, I am feeling really good - better sleep; losing weight; more energy to exercise and make healthy food choices; more interest, energy, and patience with my daughter so I'm able to give her the quality attention she deserves; a stronger spiritual connection; a more focused and productive work environment ... the list of benefits goes on and on. I would love to reconnect here, especially with holidays (re: family) coming up. And personally, I have a hard surgery coming up in early December, and I could use all the support possible to make it through that time sane and sober. Hope everyone is doing well!!

46 days is amazing!  Congrats!!  How have you done it?

I love this thread.  It is always great to see the success stories of others in our situation.  I have 3+ years sober now and remember posting in this thread very early on in my journey.  It gives me such inspiration to read how other people handle situations.  It would be great to keep this thread alive for the holidays and beyond.  The trifecta of holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's) are upon us and it is often the most difficult time of year for people.  Having extra support is always a great thing.




Nice work you two!! Hang in there Marti. It gets easier with each thirty day increment. Once you hit ninety you'll look back and go "what the heck was I doing that to myself and my family." That is how it all clicked in place for me anyway. You'll always have to deal with the 'horned bastard' sitting on your shoulder telling you that you could have just one drink and stop, but it gets easier to ignore him/her as time goes by. Don't you feel awesome on the physical and mental fronts?
2015-11-04 4:03 PM
in reply to: mdg2003

User image

Extreme Veteran
342
10010010025
Colorado
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Thanks for the encouraging words! How have I done it? Failing and continuing to pick myself back up time and time again over the last few years. Also, I have gone to a 12-step program for an eating disorder since 2001, and I finally got sick enough of my cycle of behaviors (binge drink, feel sick and hungover, binge eat, enter shame spiral, repeat) that I began applying that program to my drinking. And I got really honest with myself and my sponsor in that program. For some reason, it seems to have stuck a little better this time.

Yes, I feel a TON better mentally, emotionally, and physically. This may sound crazy, but I see a different person when I look in the mirror. Like, not just the physical changes of lost weight and clearer skin, but like my old self has woken back up. I look brighter and healthier, and I think a lot of that is my insides shining out.

While I've cut alcohol out completely for now, my husband has cut way back, too, and is also loving the changes in both of us. But we're struggling to find a healthier way to achieve what having drinks on the back porch accomplished - it was our unwinding, downloading, connecting time. We have a 5-year-old daughter, so we're in constant motion from 6am until she goes to bed at 8:30pm. Any ideas of ways to connect and unwind sans alcohol would be appreciated!
2015-11-04 7:36 PM
in reply to: smarti

User image

Pro
6837
5000100050010010010025
Tejas
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
That's a tough one. My wife drinks and we both miss having drinks together. I just have an iced tea or a soda while she enjoys her drink of choice. I really miss having drinks when we take a trip. Upside is I can function the next day and enjoy the rest of the trip! I see your dilemma, but I really don't have a solution other than to suggest that he didn't drink at all while you two have your time on the porch at the end of the day. It won't have the same dynamic, but 6Am will be a lot easier for both of you without a hangover!

We have a much different situation than yours, but my wife and I have coffee together in the AM when I wake up. I work till 1AM so we have the house to ourselves when I wake up around 10ish. We discuss issues and plan things over coffee in the morning instead of over drinks at night. Maybe you guys could wind down over an espresso each evening. If you're worried the espresso might keep you up all night, don't. You'll get a much better night sleep than you would of had you gotten half lit instead!


2015-11-06 8:24 AM
in reply to: smarti

User image

Extreme Veteran
3025
2000100025
Maryland
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Originally posted by smarti Thanks for the encouraging words! How have I done it? Failing and continuing to pick myself back up time and time again over the last few years. Also, I have gone to a 12-step program for an eating disorder since 2001, and I finally got sick enough of my cycle of behaviors (binge drink, feel sick and hungover, binge eat, enter shame spiral, repeat) that I began applying that program to my drinking. And I got really honest with myself and my sponsor in that program. For some reason, it seems to have stuck a little better this time. Yes, I feel a TON better mentally, emotionally, and physically. This may sound crazy, but I see a different person when I look in the mirror. Like, not just the physical changes of lost weight and clearer skin, but like my old self has woken back up. I look brighter and healthier, and I think a lot of that is my insides shining out. While I've cut alcohol out completely for now, my husband has cut way back, too, and is also loving the changes in both of us. But we're struggling to find a healthier way to achieve what having drinks on the back porch accomplished - it was our unwinding, downloading, connecting time. We have a 5-year-old daughter, so we're in constant motion from 6am until she goes to bed at 8:30pm. Any ideas of ways to connect and unwind sans alcohol would be appreciated!

have a lemonade instead, it wasnt the alcohol that meant something, it was the time together.

2015-11-17 9:20 AM
in reply to: dmiller5

User image

Extreme Veteran
342
10010010025
Colorado
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Day 60 for me :-) To be completely honest, it seems like an eternity.

Re: the last comment about drinking lemonade. You're right. It's making that mental switch. Last night, we sat on the couch and drank hot tea and had a needed conversation. I can't say it's comfortable yet. I have a lot of feelings and anxiety that I seem to be scared or unable to articulate, and I guess alcohol used to loosen the tongue and numb the feelings when I needed it.

So today I am struggling. I'm uncomfortable, anxious, and in some emotional pain. I have a big surgery in a couple weeks, and my husband is having some sort of mid-life crisis. I'm talking to my HP and sponsor about it, but I guess I need to learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings without acting. This is hard. It's 8am and I have already thought "Man, I could have a drink - or 17 - or a cigarette right now to take away these feelings." I know it's not the answer, and I'm not going to do it. Just venting ....



2015-11-17 11:21 AM
in reply to: 0

User image

Master
1699
1000500100252525
Malvern, PA
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Hang in there Marti! You've made it 60 days! That's awesome!

I'm in a similar situation - two months ago stopped drinking beer and pretty much alcohol in general - and I feel great and have lost 10-12 pounds and want to keep it up but...

My wife and I sit on our back porch and have drinks pretty much every weekend! And we talk things over or just talk about our week and the alcohol does make it more relaxing and may even help us to be more open with each other.

Could we do it without it? I'm sure...

It's really enjoyable for both of us but what started out as a nice infrequent intimate evening has now become something that we've been doing Friday AND Saturday nights pretty much every weekend!

I'm not so much concerned that we can only have great conversations if we're drinking but we're drinking ALOT!

I'm sure we'll address it at some point but just wanted to let you know you're not alone!



Edited by maxmattmick 2015-11-17 11:25 AM
2015-11-17 6:51 PM
in reply to: smarti

User image

Pro
6837
5000100050010010010025
Tejas
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Originally posted by smarti

Day 60 for me :-) To be completely honest, it seems like an eternity.

Re: the last comment about drinking lemonade. You're right. It's making that mental switch. Last night, we sat on the couch and drank hot tea and had a needed conversation. I can't say it's comfortable yet. I have a lot of feelings and anxiety that I seem to be scared or unable to articulate, and I guess alcohol used to loosen the tongue and numb the feelings when I needed it.

So today I am struggling. I'm uncomfortable, anxious, and in some emotional pain. I have a big surgery in a couple weeks, and my husband is having some sort of mid-life crisis. I'm talking to my HP and sponsor about it, but I guess I need to learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings without acting. This is hard. It's 8am and I have already thought "Man, I could have a drink - or 17 - or a cigarette right now to take away these feelings." I know it's not the answer, and I'm not going to do it. Just venting ....





I still struggle when it comes to talking and carrying on a normal conversation with people I know. I'm pretty introverted and am not the type to just fire up a chat with a stranger either. Give me three beers and I would babble on like no tomorrow! Some stuff is just going to be awkward for you from now on. I can go to parties now and not feel a need to drink. I just get bored pretty quickly and want to leave when people start to get lit. Oddly enough, drunk people tend to annoy me!! No irony there, huh?

None of this is easy and you just have to accept that you are wired differently than other people. Congrats on hitting 60. Here's a little incentive that might make it easier for you. Consider that your daughter is only five right now. She's still young enough to grow up and not remember seeing Mom or Dad drunk. Neither of my kids can remember seeing Dad drunk or even drinking. I wish I could say that about my Dad.
New Thread
Other Resources My Cup of Joe » Becoming Sober Rss Feed  
Show Per page
 
 
of 34