The run started out with 5 of us from HMW dialed in together. Mark Strasser, Tyler Smith and I decided to work together through the course to offer support. All of us were looking for very similar times so this worked well. The other 2 guys, I was told, would try to hang on for a while and then they planned to drop.
At the sound of the cannon, which brought back memories of Boston, we began the slow shuffle toward the start line and then out to the course. The congestion at the start was normal but it cleared quicker than bigger races that I've run (obviously). The 3 of us that decided to stick together were trying to navigate the crowd rather quickly and we got separated for a minute or so, but we were together before we reached a quarter mile.
The first mile seems like it is always a bit of a sufferfest as I get my HR up to what I expect the race effort to be. Once there I seem to be able to settle in and find my groove. We also brought a lady into our group that had come to town from Grand Haven, Michigan and was looking for a really strong race. She hung on for 5 miles and we dropped her. But she was a very strong! She had run the Flying Pig while pregnant last year and went 3:22.......Very solid!!! However, she was JUST pregnant. She didn't even know she was pregnant until she finished the race.
For the first 5 miles the course rolled up and down and I employed the race strategy that has become my hill running norm. I felt very good and pretty strong through mile 5 but then I was struck with some sharp pain in my left knee. It has become a norm for me to have this pain on occasion and I know exactly what it is when it occurs. The pain was somewhat short lived, only 25 yards or so, but it was definitely a concern.
At this point I was just behind Tyler and Mark and pacing with them. After only another quarter mile I experienced the pain again only a little more intense. I continued to try to keep the pace. Now I was past mile 5 and I tried to maintain my running form knowing improper form would only cause me to have more problems. From here I was able to hold onto the pace for the most part but it was becoming harder. I believe I was actually not running with good form and it was going to catch up to me.
I have come to learn that when I have this bout with pain it will, most of the time, subside and I can continue. This time wasn't looking like most of the other times in the past. The pain was more intense, although not crippling, and I was growing concerned about the number of miles left in this race. Was I going to be able to hold on?
Up to this point I was still running a 1:29 pace and feeling good but beginning to wonder if I was going to be able to hold the effort even without knee problems. This was one of the reasons I was looking forward to running with Tyler and Mark, mental support. About 7.75 miles in I was turning a corner and I felt some pretty excruciating pain in "the sweet spot" and I fell hard off the pace. I tried to hold some semblance of hard pacing but the pain was to debilitating. I kept running but watched as my partners kept running ahead without knowing what was going on with me. As I passed the aid station at mile 8 I was so far off the pace that I knew there was absolutely no way of finishing close to my goal. It was time to dial things back and just keep running at an effort that would remove some of the pain.
I made it only about a tenth of a mile into the 9th mile and decided to stop. I could already feel some mild swelling occur but I thought it wouldn't get too bad. I had been wearing my calf sleeves at this race and decided to pull the left one up to and across my knee to reduce the fluid. Once I did this, taking as much as a minute to readjust the sleeve, I began running again. I did experience some relief with the sleeve providing some support but I was still very far from the goal pace.
Most of mile 9 was still a struggle but it was greatly reduced from where it had begun. All of the pain up to this point was 3-4 on a 10 scale except for the harsh onset at 7.75 miles.
Mile 10 brought on more pain at a very slow pace. I began to think about DNF-ing but it is such a foreign thing to my mind that I was unable to entertain the thought for any long term contemplation. Having stopped twice at mile 9 I struggled to keep my run going without stopping but the war was about finishing without an embarrassing time.
I struggled throughout the rest of the race, the details are many and I'll spare most of them. But machismo proved to be more than I could bear. Many times I thought about calling Lis and asking her to come get me, I knew she had been done with her race by now, but I couldn't make myself admit "defeat." To me, the warring was about giving in to something that I have never been able to do, "give up." I don't think I have ever given up on anything in my life. I have been able to work, force, battle and struggle my way through just about any other adversity in my life and a DNF at this race would be admitting defeat. I indeed waged a war, mentally, to keep running to maintain a foolish notion that I can accomplish anything and be tough enough to manage it completely.
I finished the race with much encouragement from so many spectators who witnessed my physical struggle and maybe they contributed to my false sense of toughness. I heard so many people trying to verbally encourage me to stay with it and finish strong.
I came into the finishing chute and was almost completely exhausted from my physical fatigue, yet somehow having a better half marathon than my first 3 HM's.

The short!..................DNF!
The long; My character is to "never, never, never give up" but sometimes giving up in a race would prove more strong than continuing. And this race is a really good example and a lesson for me to learn.
As I told Lis, I wasn't going to get an award, paycheck, newspaper article or an interview on TV because of some heroic effort! I was going to get a medal for crossing some line in the sand that was somewhat meaningless for a person who has already proven I could cross these types of lines almost whenever I want. All I proved at this race was that I think too much of my image of strength and toughness to allow common intelligence and physical health to be the most important factor at any race or event.

No warm down was required. I finished the race at a pace and effort that was slower and easier than most of my easy runs.


My limitations were common sense. I do feel I would have been able to have gotten further into the race and maybe have completed it without pain if I had worn different shoes. I chose to wear my Wave Musha's that have 160 miles on them and there is virtually no cushioning in them. They are much lighter and I thought I could use the reduced weight to maximize my goal.


This was a great race! I just wish I could have really enjoyed the race in my hometown.