Negativity warning - what follows will include ranting, self pity, doubt, determination and perserverance and gratitude. For upbeat, skip to the bike. If triathlon were golf and your "realistic" goal time were par, I would have to say this swim was a double bogey. To start with, the water was cold, I heard rumor that it was 59. I really don't know how to judge, but it was brisk. They sent the clydesdales and the young pups off in the first wave and then in 5 minute increments. I had great hopes and expectations for this swim. In the taper period I had my two best swim workouts ever. We got to get things started and everyone was moving the outside left at the start. Waded in trying to let things clear up a little. Got started swimming nothing great, nothing bad, just felt pretty good. I was staying close to several people and manage to round the first turn bouy only about 5 ft off and then hit the small bouy still within about 10 ft. Things were going well. By this time, some cold water had seeped into my goggles. It was bothering me and I didn't want to swim with that for another 30 - 35 minutes so I paused to clear them out. I struggled to get comfortable and balanced in doing this. At this point, I wish I could say someone hit me or ran into me or something because then I would have a tangible outside influence for what happened next, but alas I was in clear water way from traffic. All of a sudden, I could not catch my breath and after a stroke or two, there was no way I was going to put my face in that water and proceed forward. I turned over on my back to try and regroup and breath and relax. (Gratitude #1, you can float effortlessly in a full wetsut). I could not breath deep enough. I don't know if I was hyperventilating suffering a panic or anxiety attack or what since I have never had any of those. All I know is I was not going to go anywhere. I wished I could burp because my chest felt so tied up I felt I just needed to relieve pressure to be able to get a full breath. I tried breast stroke a little without really getting my face in the water, I did side stoke. I knew that would lead to an incredibly long day. I returned to my back. If someone would have offered me the chance to quit, I would have jumped at the opportunity. I was wondering if it was too late to join the duathlon instead. I would not have been quitting just this race, but triatlon in general, but even more, I would have been shutting the door on my God given dream. Then words from the FCA creed repeated in my head "I will not give up, I will not give out, I will not give in". (Gratitude #2) Even though I still had about a mile to go and could not see the turn around buoy, I knew I had to press on toward the goal. I still couldn't do freestyle. I tried breast stroke and still could control my comfort level, I went back onto the back for more regrouping. At this stage, I released the fantasy of being able to place in the Clydes category and just wanted to survive the swim and get on my bike. I was also thinking not to try and make up time on the bike but just race the bike and run as planned and put this swim behind me. Now I did the backstroke for who knows how long. I thought about what I had read about this type of fear or panic coming over others - some in books and some from people sharing their struggles in their race reports on this site. That was encouraging to know that this was not unique to me but others have encoutered something similar and overcome it. That gave me hope that I could do it too (Gratitude #3 - thanks to all who have shared their stories of the struggle and if not triumph the perserverance to complete - without that, I would have been hitching a kayak ride back to shore). Also, more from the FCA creed went through my head, "I am a disciple of determination", and I was determined to finish this swim. Time felt like it was flying by and I was standing still I was wondering if there was a swim cutoff time. I don't know how much time has transpired but now I am getting passed by wave B. So maybe it just seemed like this was going on for hours. I was able to regroup and freestyle. Now it was just my normal navigation skills. I drifted way left of the bouys and had to correct - adding to the frustration and poor self esteem in my swim. I did not feel smooth and every stoke and breath was a mental struggle. Then I drifted way right, during a pause a kayaker was encouraging and pointed me in the right direction (Gratitude #4, the guys on the kayaks were great and friendly). Finally, forever after I started, I hit the turnaround - in 24:40. I paused there to regroup, another kayaker checked on me to see if I was alright. Considering all that had transpired it really wasn't so bad, but I only see that now looking back, at the time I was frustrated disappointed and self condeming. On another note, while wave C was going by me, there were actually a few people from my wave around me. As we came back, we were going against the wind and waves. I didn't remember any on the way out. I was slowly making progress actually swimming fairly well when I was stroking, but was still drifting away from the straight and narrow. I would do the breast stoke to sight, regroup and catch my breath and more often than not as I was about to get started again, I would open my mouth to take a deep breath, a wave would come up and I would get a nice drink and have to catch my breath again. At some point I finally realized all I had to look for was the beach house. That was a lot bigger object to identify. Things improved but I was spent and frustrated. Now also I had to relieve myself but I didn't feel right doing it in the wetsuit as I have read about. Maybe I should have, it would have improved several other things on the day. I finally made it around the last buoy, but I could not get myself to bear down and just complete the last stretch. At this point, I was getting passed by wave D. Finally, I get out of the water. Disappointment with the swim led me to walk up the beach. I saw my family and gave my wife a kiss - my oldest girls didn't want a hug from wet daddy. At this point my wife told me about the long course, she was proud of me and very encouraging (Gratitude #5). Looking back now, with the course being long, I would have been happy with that time as a straight swim if you would have told me in March that I would do it. But in the moment, I wouldn't say I was crushed, but demoralized, YES. I had much higher hopes - and a lot of swimming to do in the next year.

Swim more throughout the year, learn to swim straight, stay in the moment. Deal with a little cold water in the goggles. NOT DRINK A CARBONATED ENERGY DRINK 30 MINUTES BEFORE SWIMMING. Rely on God more.

Don't know where the official time was taken. I stopped my swim and started T1 time when I got out of the water. My wife was so encouraging and I was so relieved to have that swim overwith. Rinsed off the feet and walked by the port-o-pottys still in my wetsuit. I walked up to my spot and was getting everything together, deliberate and not rushed. Why rush after how I had spent the last 50 minutes. At this point I realized I still needed to pee. Looked and saw how far away they were and figured I would just use one on the bike course. Even though I was 2:45 slower than the fastest individual I was 80th out of the 206 individuals in T1 - I made my goal of top 1/2.

Use the john

From the transition and out of the Resevoir, my legs were asking me why am I not covered up and warm, the rest of your body is. Then we hit Quincy and started heading east to the turnaround of the spur. This was going well. I was reminding myself to be patient and stay in control, there is a half marathon ahead if I didn't work hard enough on the bike. Things were going smooth and started warming up. After 20 minutes I pulled out my bar - the only solid food I planned for the bike. I couldn't open it with my long finger gloves on. So I am carrying it in my mouth on a 30+ mile downhill. As we start to go up again, I take off a glove and get it open. It felt comfortable, so after I finished and was going uphill again, I took off the other glove and stuffed them in my pockets. I hit the turnaround and got smacked in the face. Where did that wind come from. Everyone I spoke with was shocked by that rude awakening. I should have kept the gloves on for a little while longer. Sometime during this, the road was rough enough that the sensor on my wheel was askew and not fully registering. It was enough to keep the time running but the mph was suspect. So I had no clue of my pace and only a guestimate of how far I had gone/had left. Maybe that was a good thing, I don't know. I had no HR data and no speed data. Just had to watch my cadence and RPE. Rolled through the first aid station and picked up one bottle (no pottys). Rolled onward,staying within myself I believed. Hit the 9 mile I70 section at 1:02 and figured there had to be pottys set up in Bennet when we go there. With the tailwind we should have, I thought I could easily be off that stretch by 1:28. There is one point where they route the racers down and up the exit so there is no contention with cars wanting to exit there. On the way down that my bike number came loose. In all the communications they emphasized the importance of matching up the number on the bike to your bib in order to claim it afterward, so I stopped to reattach the number, this took about a minute thirty. If there wasn't a cop directing traffic there I would have found a tree, but it wasn't worth a ticket. Had about 6 or 8 people pass me while I was fixing the number. Pedaled onward and got off in Bennett at about 1:25 so that was a good fast run. There was nothing set up in Bennett so I proceeded onward. We got onto Hwy 36 and headed back into the wind. Don't know how fast I as going but it went quicker than the my test ride of the course the end of July (similar type of wind didn't sense it when it was at your back but a rude obstacle when turning around into it.) Got back to Watkins at about 2:02. I couldn't take it any longer. I pulled into the shell station. What relief. I should have done that long ago. I was concerned that would negatively impact my fuel replacement, but seemed to do alright. Took it easy on Watkins Road, patient and within myself and then when I got back to Quincy I let it go a little more, took my next gel at the 2:30 mark of the ride (basically did a bar 20 minutes into the ride, a gel at 1:00, 1:45 and 2:30 - and hydrated every 10 to 20 minutes - that seemed to work well). Road into the resevoir strong but comfortable. Tried to stretch periodically on the bike. Was ready to get going and see what I had left. To continue with the golf analogy, the bike would have been a birdie.

Go to the potty early, ensure the number was securely attached before the race.

Good transition for me, I still didn't get the shoes tied well and had to stop and retie my left shoe within the first mile. This included another potty stop so I am very happy with this T2. 94th out of 198 individuals through T2. Again top half. First time I have ever done that!!!

Tie my shoes well

I got going and had a good stride rate, kept it steady and was very happy with the first couple of miles, I felt good and felt I could maintain that for a while, but I was getting passed and passed and passed. I am like what is up with this, but I was running my race and plan so I just let everyone go. I wanted to stay within myself. I planned on walking the aid stations where I got a drink - running and drinking from a cup don't work well for me right now - I drank at the mile one station, picked up a gel at mile two and ate it right before #3 so I could wash it down. I was suffciently hydrated and it was cool so I was doing an everyother station for drinks. I picked up a banana at mile 4, drank at mile 5 and hit the outhouse between 5 & 6. Picked up a gel at the turnaround and ate it before mile 8. Then got my last drink before mile 10. I figured it was just a 5k and I would be better off just running to the finish. Overcame some strange sensations in the hip and feet, but I call this body strong an not week. Chased away mental an physical demons and replaced them with thoughts of purpose strength and wholeness. My mantra was repeated often - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. On the dam, I ran into a friend I met at the races last year, on the way back I started passing people but was still getting passed some, not as much. I tried to stay with one woman who passed me but it was just a little quick. I was running at the hardest pace I could push my cardio vascular system, anymore I would have redlined and been walking very shortly. Another woman came up on me slowly and passed, I stayed with her or close for from about mile 8 to the last aid station. We would drift closer and farther apart on the inclines and stay close on the flats. She stopped for water at the last and I kept going, I almost felt guilty passing her there because she had been such a help, but we were within the last mile I was just wanting to finish. It was great when I saw she was among the top three in her age group. I was able to pass a couple of more people toward the end. Then from about 250 yard out there was noone within reach to pass, but then my eyes caught the clock, I had missed my goal time, but it was possible to be within a minute of it. I picked it up by the end I was sprinting or at least it felt like I was and I did it, I crossed in 5:45:59 or 59 seconds slower than my realistic goal. To close out the golf analogy, the run was just about par, so I finished out 1 over for the round

I was very happy with the run, the only thing might have been to use the potty sooner

Walked around looking for my family, they got back about 4 minutes after I finished, stretched, looked for a friend to finish and finally went through the food line.


Endurance base, open water swimming and navigation,