Need motivation

Hi, Rick.  So sorry for your loss.  Been there - mom passed away suddenly in 2016 and I'm still not totally the same but better than the mess I was for a while afterwards.  I found routine to help me with training and so forth, but time really is the ultimate healer. 

As for getting back into it, maybe you could pick a race somewhere that your parents enjoyed and dedicate your race to their memory?

I have never lost a parent so I can't even begin to understand what you have gone through this year but as a missionary, I have seen a lot of healing that comes with faith in God and an understanding of his eternal plan. Your parents are not gone.  They are just in another place right now.  They can still be a part of your life as you remember them.  You can even feel impressions from time to time that they are watching over you and impressions of what they would want you to do or tell you if they were present. 

As far as motivation goes, the scientific studies of the brain show that motivation come from doing.  Lots of people feel that they have to mentally work themselves up to do something and will try music, stimulants, inspirational word of others, etc.  The science shows that the best motivation is doing. You may not feel motivated when you start a project, start a task, start a workout, etc. but once you get going something happens in the brain and you feeling of being unmotivated turns into feelings of motivation. 

It sounds like your brain is defaulting to its emotional mode of operation.  That is the mode that reacts to what is happening without going through a thought process.  It reacts to keep us safe, to keep us functioning in a comfortable state, etc. The emotional brain, however, by-passes the thinking/reasoning process.   We have another mode of operation which is the reasoning mode.  The reasoning mode does not control our reflexes, automatic responsive, or survival mode.  It governs based on our thought process and critical thinking.  When things get tough the emotional brain is the voice telling us this is too hard I might as well give up.  The reasoning brain, however, knows that you can do hard things.  It also knows that by doing hard things you will be happier and better off in the long run or the big picture.   The challenge is getting out of our emotional operating mode into a reasonable thinking mode.  The hardest part is always starting.  Your reasoning brain knows that the less motivated you feel the more important it is to do something.  Giving in to un motivation will make you more unmotivated.  doing something even if it is small when you feel unmotivated will keep the unmotivated feeling from getting stronger.  Some tips I have seen are never missing a work out on a Monday and to start a training streak.  These rules help your emotional brain know what to do without thinking to push you out of the autopilot mode back to doing what you know is best.