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2019-11-09 10:02 PM


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Subject: Need motivation
I’m an age grouper triathlete. I’ve completed several triathlons of all distances. Between March and September of this year both my parents passed away. I began stress eating and I’ve lost training motivation. Any help or advice would be appreciated.


2019-11-10 9:55 AM
in reply to: rick

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Subject: RE: Need motivation

Hi, Rick.  So sorry for your loss.  Been there - mom passed away suddenly in 2016 and I'm still not totally the same but better than the mess I was for a while afterwards.  I found routine to help me with training and so forth, but time really is the ultimate healer. 

As for getting back into it, maybe you could pick a race somewhere that your parents enjoyed and dedicate your race to their memory?

2019-11-10 11:34 AM
in reply to: #5263963


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Subject: RE: Need motivation
Thank you for caring enough to reply. I felt stupid posting something but these 2 losses, 1 unexpectedly has really thrown me off. I like your idea of picking a race. I live in the Chicago area and they lived in Kentucky and I always did a sprint race at scales lake. Didn’t even think of doing that. Thanks again and I’m sorry for your loss.
2019-11-10 1:06 PM
in reply to: #5263971


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Subject: RE: Need motivation
Saddened to hear about your losses, Rick. Losing parents is such a hard thing and it takes time to adjust. Everyone goes through the grieving process differently.

I would say to not rush or feel like you have to race or compete right now. The sport isn’t going anywhere and focusing on your mental and physical well being is important. Adding the stressors of training for a race may not be the best thing if you are still dealing with the stress of losing both parents in such a short time.

My mom passed away in 2006 from breast cancer. Doing 5k run/walk events is what got me into running and eventually triathlon. I’ve had custom race shirts and triathlon kits made in her memory and those are what I race in.

I guess I would just say take it slow, no need to rush back into training. Just going for an easy walk, run or ride may be all you need right now. But, if you feel like you’re ready for a training plan then I agree with the above suggestion. And you’re racing where they lived would be a lovely tribute to their memory.

Prayers for you and your family.
2019-11-11 10:01 AM
in reply to: rick

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Subject: RE: Need motivation

Originally posted by rick I’m an age grouper triathlete. I’ve completed several triathlons of all distances. Between March and September of this year both my parents passed away. I began stress eating and I’ve lost training motivation. Any help or advice would be appreciated.

I have never lost a parent so I can't even begin to understand what you have gone through this year but as a missionary, I have seen a lot of healing that comes with faith in God and an understanding of his eternal plan. Your parents are not gone.  They are just in another place right now.  They can still be a part of your life as you remember them.  You can even feel impressions from time to time that they are watching over you and impressions of what they would want you to do or tell you if they were present. 

As far as motivation goes, the scientific studies of the brain show that motivation come from doing.  Lots of people feel that they have to mentally work themselves up to do something and will try music, stimulants, inspirational word of others, etc.  The science shows that the best motivation is doing. You may not feel motivated when you start a project, start a task, start a workout, etc. but once you get going something happens in the brain and you feeling of being unmotivated turns into feelings of motivation. 

It sounds like your brain is defaulting to its emotional mode of operation.  That is the mode that reacts to what is happening without going through a thought process.  It reacts to keep us safe, to keep us functioning in a comfortable state, etc. The emotional brain, however, by-passes the thinking/reasoning process.   We have another mode of operation which is the reasoning mode.  The reasoning mode does not control our reflexes, automatic responsive, or survival mode.  It governs based on our thought process and critical thinking.  When things get tough the emotional brain is the voice telling us this is too hard I might as well give up.  The reasoning brain, however, knows that you can do hard things.  It also knows that by doing hard things you will be happier and better off in the long run or the big picture.   The challenge is getting out of our emotional operating mode into a reasonable thinking mode.  The hardest part is always starting.  Your reasoning brain knows that the less motivated you feel the more important it is to do something.  Giving in to un motivation will make you more unmotivated.  doing something even if it is small when you feel unmotivated will keep the unmotivated feeling from getting stronger.  Some tips I have seen are never missing a work out on a Monday and to start a training streak.  These rules help your emotional brain know what to do without thinking to push you out of the autopilot mode back to doing what you know is best.     

2019-11-12 7:23 AM
in reply to: BlueBoy26

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Subject: RE: Need motivation
Tie your shoes and go for a walk.

The hardest thing about starting, is starting. But it's embarrassing to get yourself kitted up and sit on the couch looking like a buffoon watching sports center in the morning...hahahaha. I have been there. Kids would come down and ask how my run was. It hasn't happened many times.

When I work with others in positions like you are in, the one thing they have all been able to relate to is just to tie your damn shoes. Once you've done it the first day, the next hardest day is every day after that, until the habit is reformed.

You can do it, and you can do it today. Just tie your shoes.


2019-11-12 1:32 PM
in reply to: rick


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Subject: RE: Need motivation
Sorry for your loss, Rick. I'm in agreement with others that getting started is the hardest part but that what comes after that is easier as time progresses. I've been knocked out of fitness and triathlon for 15 months due to a health issue but it is improving and I am about to get back on the horse. I've set a lofty goal: A 70.3 early next summer.

I will be thinking about you as I slowly regain fitness bit by bit, day by day. Good luck to you.
2019-11-13 3:09 PM
in reply to: rick

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Subject: RE: Need motivation
Best advice I can give is to just start a workout. Usually if you make as far as to get dressed for it and start, you'll finish it and feel better for it. Don't worry about the quality of it. Just get some, even 1 a day for 30 minutes, done.

Also I made a video on some motivation tips. Not as applicable to the loss of a loved one, but something.

https://youtu.be/dGW4Sormoi8
2019-11-14 7:36 AM
in reply to: #5263972


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Subject: RE: Need motivation
I lost my father unexpectedly about two months ago, and in some ways this helps. There isn’t a magic solution, just tie your shoes, know it’s not going to feel like it used to and wade through the grief.

Here’s to a season of easily accessed motivation until a sense of normalcy returns.
2019-11-19 12:54 PM
in reply to: kbec84

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Subject: RE: Need motivation
It is difficult no matter how you go about it and I am sorry... I lost my dad in 2017 after almost a year of languishing. Everyone handles it differently but I can tell you, I had about a year where I couldn't consistently commit. I would say to let yourself off the hook if you can't get out there, no sense in feeling guilty about it. But do try to consistently get yourself back into a routine and find the things you enjoy about training and racing. It will come back. Dedicating a race or races will also help.
2019-11-21 7:33 AM
in reply to: TriJayhawkRyan

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Subject: RE: Need motivation
Originally posted by TriJayhawkRyan

Best advice I can give is to just start a workout. Usually if you make as far as to get dressed for it and start, you'll finish it and feel better for it. Don't worry about the quality of it. Just get some, even 1 a day for 30 minutes, done.

Also I made a video on some motivation tips. Not as applicable to the loss of a loved one, but something.

https://youtu.be/dGW4Sormoi8


^^This. I have a pact with myself that I have to get dressed and show up for every workout. After I start, I will allow myself to skip it, but 9X out of 10 I just finish it. For early morning swims I tell myself I just need to get into the gym's hot tub and I can pack up go home after that if I feel so compelled, LOL.

Sympathies for your loss. I lost my father at a young age and as a poster above said - it takes time, but that doesn't mean your life needs to be on hold.


2019-11-22 10:17 AM
in reply to: #5264056


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Subject: RE: Need motivation
Thank you for all the kind words and support. Some of you will understand this:
I TIED MY SHOES! ??
2019-11-22 11:14 AM
in reply to: rick

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Subject: RE: Need motivation
Ya you did!!!
2019-11-22 8:35 PM
in reply to: #5264293


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Subject: RE: Need motivation
Very nice! Keep it up!
2019-11-22 10:23 PM
in reply to: rick

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Subject: RE: Need motivation
Good job! The first steps are the hardest.

I was training for my first Ironman at the end of August '08 when my dad was diagnosed with leukemia in April and the doc told him "not the good kind". He had been making plans to come watch the race. He made it another 5 weeks and I gave up a lot of training to be with him when I could for those weeks. I lost a few more weeks afterward too but got back at it and completed the event. Life does go on and little by little you learn to cope.

A side note: My dad lasted as long as he did because of some blood transfusions. I'd been donating for a while before that happened and I'm the same blood type. I don't know if he would have gotten any of mine but I felt better that I'd been contributing. I've been donating as regularly as possible ever since.
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