Dog and Cat Diaries

Excerpts From The Dog's Daily Diary"
>
>8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
>
>9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
>
>9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
>
>10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
>
>11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
>
>12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
>
>1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
>
>4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
>
>5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
>
>5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
>
>6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
>
>6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
>
><>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
>
>
>"Excerpts From The Cat's Daily Diary"
>
>Day 283 Of My Captivity.
>
>My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
>dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
>while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing
>that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
>mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
>piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
>house plant.
>
>Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
>around their feet while they were walking almost
>succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In
>an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
>oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
>on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.
>
>Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
>body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am
>capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
>They only cooed and condescended about what a good
>little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
>
>There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
>I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However,
>I could hear the noise and smell the food. More
>importantly I overheard that my confinement
>was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what
>this is and how to use it to my advantage.
>
>I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
>maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and
>seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
>a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be
>an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am
>certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
>placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
>But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. . . .