Do you ever just want to kick someone's....

kjlee8 - 2008-08-11 8:57 AM OK, I'm not usually a competitive person (aside from with myself that is), but when it comes to this one person I just want to annihilate them when racing! Let me explain the scenario…. We have a group of friends who do triathlon together to stay fit and have some fun. Don't get me wrong, we all train hard when training for a race, but it still remains quite casual and fun. No one is competing with each other and no one cares if you have a bad day and get dropped or if you don't know the slightest thing about triathlon…that's the beauty of it…it's about getting together with friends, having a good time, and staying active. But…there is one person in the group that is super competitive and is constantly comparing herself to others in the group – and telling you just how awesome she is and what an expert she is at each discipline!!!!! I know I can kick her @ss and I want to hand it to her!!! Is that wrong? It totally goes against everything I believe in and the reasons I do triathlons, but I just can't help it. I feel like someone needs to knock her down a notch. I'll be honest…sometimes on rides I pick up the pace a little just because I know she is too proud to admit she is suffering . I guess it does make me a better racer in the end, but I can't help feeling guilty about being so mean. Anyone else know someone like this?

There is ALWAYS that one person, in every group. If can't identify who that person is...then it is probably you.

I think that feeling the way you do is perfectly normal for most humans. any kind of motivation is good, if you use it to your advantage. Use your "disdain' for her, to push your pace, to punish her and to push yourself. An make sure to thank her for what she has brought to the group. She maybe thinking it's one thing, but you'll know it's something else.

there is a difference between being competitive and thinking you are better then everyone else.

I know a guy like this.  He thinks he is God's gift to the sport and knows everything about it because he ran a 6+ hour HIM, has a coach and is going to sign up for IMKY this fall.

If her were just enthusiastic about the sport, and recognized that he doesn't know everything (and listened to the advice others give him) it would be one thing.  But instead he insists he knows it all, and gives (often wrong) advice to other beginners and complains that he's slow because of overtraining (off of < 10 hour weeks).

So on the group rides he does, a large group of other rides make sure he is with us...them right before the known sprint spots, just so we they can obliterate him.  In the long run, it's probably making him a better rider, but it's still fun.

There's only one thing worse than the "egomaniac poser" and that's the "I have no pulse, speed demon".

No, it's not wrong.  Trash-talkers need to be able to back it up, if they can't, they deserve to be chopped down to size.  Go ahead and kick her @ss, don't feel guilty and stick it to her.  She needs to learn to not be so arrogant.

When I first read your post I went "oh crap, is she talking about me?"  Haha.  I know that sometimes I can get a little overzealous in the sport and am excited to share something new I learned with others.  That can probably be misinterpreted by some people.  However, I don't compare myself to my training partners or act like an expert.   I just think that some people who started at the beginner level with me are sometimes resentful of my progress.  What they don't realize is that while they are sleeping in, I'm pounding out 2-3 hours of training before they have their first sip of coffee...

Anyway, yeah, use her as motivation and kick her heiny in the next race if you can.  But maybe give her a little benefit of the doubt too.  She could either be super insecure and that's her way of dealing with it...or maybe she's just really excited about triathlon and it comes off the wrong way.

Its not like anyone would expect you to take it easy on her in a race. If you enter a race, do your best, if she's in the race too, everyone will know who is faster.

I should probably find someone like the that to motivate me to train harder. I just try to beat my time from one year to the next, not really as much of a motivater.

kjlee8 - 2008-08-11 6:57 AM OK, I'm not usually a competitive person (aside from with myself that is), but when it comes to this one person I just want to annihilate them when racing! Let me explain the scenario…. We have a group of friends who do triathlon together to stay fit and have some fun. Don't get me wrong, we all train hard when training for a race, but it still remains quite casual and fun. No one is competing with each other and no one cares if you have a bad day and get dropped or if you don't know the slightest thing about triathlon…that's the beauty of it…it's about getting together with friends, having a good time, and staying active. But…there is one person in the group that is super competitive and is constantly comparing herself to others in the group – and telling you just how awesome she is and what an expert she is at each discipline!!!!! I know I can kick her @ss and I want to hand it to her!!! Is that wrong? It totally goes against everything I believe in and the reasons I do triathlons, but I just can't help it. I feel like someone needs to knock her down a notch. I'll be honest…sometimes on rides I pick up the pace a little just because I know she is too proud to admit she is suffering . I guess it does make me a better racer in the end, but I can't help feeling guilty about being so mean. Anyone else know someone like this?

Reading posts like this, while I understand (I think), just makes me glad I was born a man. I don't have such qualms about being mean to overly aggressive people. If I can drop them, I drop them - and share a beer with them afterwards - or not!

Bob Roll says

"Bike racing is about two things, suffering and revenege"

Heh, we have one of those in our group, and another who is the polar opposite.  Always the slow one, always the late one, always the first to blow up, crap out, fall down, get tired, show up unprepared etc, and is ALWAYS apologizing for it.  Quit apologizing then, and FIX IT.

I'd like to take the two of 'em and knock their heads together, Stooges-style.

do it in a legit race!

good luck!