Getting married vs Oly

Having survived 29 years of marriage (to the same person), my advice is:

Forget the race.  There will be others (if you live).

Make it about her for the weekend.

Women never forget anything. (I think it's genetic).  Paybacks are hell.

Mark

Hmm Shaun should you really even be thinking about something like that? 

Just my opinion but its just the start of the season down here plenty of tris to pick from.  But only one wedding!

My sisters getting married in April and there is a tri I would like to do the day after and I'm not even thinking about doing it and its not my wedding.

She is totally awesome to even consider this. The fact that you still have your cojones means you've caught yourself a winner. That being said, don't be a fool. There will be other tris. This is the person you'll be spending the rest of your life with (um, right?) Invest a day now, reap the rewards later.

(I've been married for 11 years.)

Since everybody else has ignored this one: I believe the day AFTER your wedding is to be spent in bed, expressing your love for each other.  And the couch, the table, several appliances, and the neighbor's deck chair.  It's not like she's going to be DOUBLE-PREGNANT. 

If you do the race, you're likely to wake up, and find your bike mangled under the car, your tri shorts on fire, and your lovely lady holding your running shoes over the toilet sweetly smiling and saying: "You bastard..."

Is she a triathlete?  So that's why she said "go ahead".

oh yeah she'll probably bring it up later.  Hey, my CSection is this weekend.  But, honey, there's a race.  LIKE HELL! 

um,,, when in relation to the wedding is this race?  Day before?  Day of?  Day after?  If it's the first, I say go ahead, no problem, it's your bachelor party.  Day of? Definitely not.  Day after?  Definitely not again.  I wanna wake up with my new husband at my side.  I don't care if we've done it a zillion times already, I'm now Mrs. Downunderman and I wanna relish in this moment.

congratations on the new one and the impending nupitals.  Hope all goes well.

awww now see that sounds so much better then we gotta get married coz I knocked her up!

That is a really good idea!! Very sweet.

However, being a triathlete, I would love to incorporate a race into my festivities.

Do you have a brother?

I'd chime in with the general consensus: don't do the tri. Getting married may not seem like a big deal right now (or are you just in denial?), but you'd better believe its freakin HUGE. It is an important ritual, a once in a lifetime thing, and it's worth taking the time and consideration to make it special. If you are not planning a honeymoon, consider this wedding weekend as your honeymoon, and pack it with lots of sappy, romantic stuff. Flowers, slow dancing, breakfast in bed, lots of kissing and priase for your wonderful woman. Ya big dope, she's marrying you and having your kid!

Does anything in life get bigger than this?

Shaun,

Perhaps if you changed your perspective, the way you are viewing this ceremony, the answers will come to you of their own accord.

Instead of seeing this as an act of bowing to convention, a convention you don't value, look at it as a new beginning or journey that you and your SO are embarking on. It's a day to honor the bond you two have, a day to proclaim to each other that the little life growing in her deserves the committed and avowed unity of a Mom and Dad committed (emotionally and legally) to each other, not just in word but for all the world to see. You are morphing from single-man-committed-to-single-woman to a Family Unit. Take the weekend to ritualize your union and honor your newly formed Family Unit.

There will be so many other days to tri but only one weekend to do this right the first time. Congratulations and good luck.

Since you did not ask for advice regarding the choice you are making about your personal situation, I won't offer any - although not doing so is giving me a pain behind my eyeballs.

Since you did ask: Do NOT do the triathlon.  Decide together what you two will do and spend the day doing it and don't act like you're making any great sacrifice, you're not.   There will be plenty of triathlons in your future if you have a good marriage.  You need to start working on acting like a responsible adult and setting priorties, because your relationship is doomed if you don't.  Now is a great time to start.  Treating your wedding like it is stupid and unimportant does not bode well for the esteem in which you will hold your marriage.