I wish you were dead

It does not really matter what I would do. She is not my girlfriend, and I am not you. You will get any answer you want to get providing little information and asking such a broad question on the internet. Some will have no problem with it, some will complain and do nothing, some would have been looking for new living arrangments and not spending time on an internet forum.

She did do that to you. Question is: What will you do?

See... that the stuff that does not come across the internet. There is a pretty wide range of meanings to the phrase "I wish you were dead" besides of course the litteral one.

I don't know, some people talk like that no problem. I don't. But me and the wife have our way of joking around. And yes she said it in anger so I'm not trying to say she was joking. It's just that people talk to each other in a variety of ways... that really has nothing to do with how I talk to my wife and what I find acceptable in how she talks to me.

You have the same choices you always knew you had. Sit down and find out what the problems are and resove to fix them. Seek proffessional help and counseling if you guys can't do that on your own (unlikely). Realize your relationship is worth keeping and get to work fixing it.... or break up.

I know I will not accept being miserable. Break ups are hard going through them but then you get to move on to a better life... that is if the problem is not you and you take it to the next relationship... just sayin'. Life's short for you, her, and the kids to be wasting time being miserable. Move on to getting better.

But only you know the answer to that. Only you know if you have tried or are just giving up. Only you know what you are willing to put up with.

My wife would never feel that way.  She would more likely say, "Get the ef outa my life! I never want to see you again!"

I would never wish her dead, no matter what, and the feeling is mutual.

I'd book the nearest, cheapest hotel if my wife ever said anything like that!

indeed ! she does seem to have a nasty / mad streak coming out

even if she was drunk and couldnt remember ?

this is her reply or part of 

I sincerely apologize for saying that. I cant remember whether i said it or meant it about you or me. It is such a stupid and horrible thing to say. Please believe me when i say i definitely didn't mean it but I am so full of anger at the moment with our relationship or lack of, combined with drinking too much that I exploded. I wanted to hurt you so you knew how mad I was. Being vicious and mean was the way I did it.

its one thing saying nasty things but another to say this. i have said some stupid things but would never wish my worst enemy dead 

I'm a happy/silly drunk...and my wife never drinks...I just can't relate!  

Has she ever said anything like this when sober?

hmm, perhaps if that situation were to occur again, you could just throw in some GNR to the stereo...aim the speakers at the door, and crank up the volume on some "Used to Love Her...but I had to Kill Her!"  

100% agree.

sadly i do agree best find some where to live

again, this is the internet so i know nothing, but does she possibly have a drinking/anger issue?  not that saying something like that is OK, but from her explanation (i drank so much i don't remember it....big red flag), sounds like there might be much deeper issues to address.  if you care at all, therapy may be in order (primarily for her but obviously you two as a couple) but you came and kind of blasted your wife on the internet which makes me think you don't care....

Exit. Stage Right.

Shoot exit into the orchestra pit if you have to!

I will say it straight out.... LEAVE!

It is not a good environment for anyone including the kids.  If there is that much anger and resentment then at the very least a separation and a break from each other to get your heads on straight is warranted.

In vino, veritas - an old expression basically meaning what people say when they drink is what they are actually thinking. Yes, she might not wish you were dead when she is sober, but if she gets drunk, she says (and therefore may do) things that cannot be unsaid or undone.

I'll second the thought of looking into a drinking and/or anger problem. But also that telling your wife to "shut up" may also be a signal into the mutual lack of respect that may mean the relationship is troubled at a more fundamental level.

x2 - there was a thread last year along these lines - of cussing at your significant other.
For those who curse in everyday language it was no biggie, for others it was an immediate red flag.

For EVERYONE it seemed, when the words were used in a serious and pointed manner (even when drunk or stressed), it was much less acceptable. Seems that's what we're dealing with here?

Do you mean forget what was said and resume to normal, or move on from the relationship?

Move on from the relationship......quickly.

Everyone is awefully quick to suggest getting a divorce/out of a relationship over this sentence...  Odd.  Unless the phrase was "I'm sleeping around on you" or "I killed someone"...  I don't think I would instanty leave them.  But it's worth a LONG conversation and getting help.  Serious red flag, but I'm not going to instanty draw up divorce papers.

You are smiling about a wrecked relationship that involves kids? Sorry but it sounds to me like you both have issues.