Biggest Lies Ever

Just a few more minutes until I figure out this computer issue

We're from the Government and we're here to help

..and we're glad to have you

This user's post has been ignored.

"Non-drowsy formula"

"Ok, just one more drink."

"sorry honey, I have a headache."

"I love my job"

I feel like I'm in confession but here goes:

"Ooops, I forgot!" - used by me daily. I am very absent minded but also easily distracted so this is not always a lie

"My husband didn't tell me you called" - people with young children can not talk on the phone, just send me an email LOL

My dog ate my HW

"You're almost there!" at mile 20 of a marathon.

"I did not have sexy with that woman....that Lewinsky woman"

You look great in that.

it wont hurt, you just have to relax

"You're going to feel some pressure"  Pessure my a$$ that's pain!

" It's your baby"....

and it's companion:

No honey those pants/skirt doesn't make your butt look big.

Yes I'm waiting for you to get back from your tour in Korea

I love you and if we have sex, I will love you even more. 

Though, of course, I've never used that one. 

I didn't inhale

"Who her? No...she's ugly! She's just a waitress, a swimming waitress, and I was just ordering in some fish for you and Audrey, and your mother..."

Clark Griswold/Hotel pool scene/Vacation

Good un...

"I'll call you" 

We don't need a condom

"it's not you, it's me"

We can still be friends.

No officer I've only had like 2 maybe 3 beers