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Someone 'splain men to me
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 2011-01-09 12:00 PM |
Champion  6046    New York, NY |  Subject: Someone 'splain men to meSO I went out to dinner with this guy I met, he is a few years older than me and clearly not athletic. He knows I am into tris. this was a second 'date' (though not really interested more as friends on MY end). We sit at dinner, and he asked about my week, and part of what was described was training - and the next thing out of his mouth? " so are you planning to retire from this soon?" uh no. and then at end of evening (dinner was pleasant enough but cemented that from my end ONLY friends) he wanted to make plans for next weekend - and I said I had to see what training would be (bike team workouts moving target as weather makes us go indoors vs out....) and his response (mind you we had drinks once and dinner once) was "so let me get this straight, you have your kids, work, training..." (the implication being that he comes after) and I said - yes. So I know I have to do the your a nice guy but... routine - just please explain to me WHY bother to ask me out and act all interested if the first thing you want to do is change me?????? argh |
| 2011-01-09 12:08 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Pro 4827   Plano, Texas | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me |
| 2011-01-09 12:21 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Resident Curmudgeon 25290 The Road Back Gold member | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me First of all, it's that man, not men. Find someone who's into you and your interests and you won't have this problem. Don't we hve dates to find out what those shared interest might or might not be? |
| 2011-01-09 12:32 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Extreme Veteran 605 Centennial, CO | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me I definitely think the guy should have thought more carefully before speaking. You do have to admit though that from the view of a sedentary person putting training as a priority probaby is a completely foreign concept. Where I work we have two types of people, sedentary and complete training addicts. The two worlds don't even speak the same language and I see it dailly. |
| 2011-01-09 12:33 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Champion 8936 | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me Ok. So people have different interests. Is this news to anybody? You date to see if you're compatible with somebody. You're obviously not. |
| 2011-01-09 12:35 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Pro 3804 Seacoast, NH! | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me Soooo, why did you go on a second "date" with this guy? Isn't the idea of dating to see if it will work or not? Seems to me like you're leading him on. But seriously....I understand from experiend. Some people just assume that if they think it's too hard to work out that why would anyone else not get sick of it? You basically have a out of shape needy boy on your hands. Do not give up. Single mom's are hot. Edited by jgerbodegrant 2011-01-09 12:37 PM |
| 2011-01-09 1:15 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Veteran 698 | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me Not long ago there was a thread about a guy who went on a date with a young lady who also didn't "get" the whole triathlon concept. I'd suggest that the problem might be not men (or women, for that matter) but rather that some people consider anything more then a brisk walk to the bus stop excessive. |
| 2011-01-09 1:36 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Champion 10668 Tacoma, Washington | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me I could explain "men", but then you'd still be scratching your head as to why this ONE man acts the way he does. |
| 2011-01-09 1:38 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Elite 2729 Puyallup, WA | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me I can't really explain men to you...but I can explain this man is not for you. Just because he WANTS to date an attractive & extremely intelligent women....doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him... |
| 2011-01-09 1:42 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
| Expert 732 | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me All I want is a woman who I share some interests with and none are more important than fitness and tri right now. Waiting for a triathlete to fall into my life :/ I don't understand men like that either, though... |
| 2011-01-09 1:47 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Expert 1146 Johns Creek, Georgia | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me If you go on a "dinner" date with a man, especially a 2nd date, if the chemistry lacking for the magic date isn't there, then don't waste your time even going, or his. This has nothing to do what your question but the question would have been avoided if you follow my rule. On to your question, he is lost, doesn't understand your dedication, move on, find another date. Good luck, there's lots of triathletes in the sea, hope you hook a good one. By the way, post a pic so we can see what he is missing! |
| 2011-01-09 3:33 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
| Atlanta, Georgia | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me Seems like this guy could might idea of what he's looking for in a relationship and knowing that there's always some give and take, he's poking around to find your limits. Although the tone he uses to ask that question is kind of important. Or he could be a little insecure about where he'd fit in your busy schedule. Guys like feeling needed, just stand around a party with a capped beer bottle and see how long it takes before someone offers to open it for you. Folks don't have to understand why we do the things we do, but it is important that they respect it. Just my $0.02 |
| 2011-01-09 3:37 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Master 2014 Ohio | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me I wasn't there and can't properly read the inflection in his voice or the vibe you were getting from him at that point but, I have a bit of a different take on this. Assuming that he was looking for more than a "friends" relationship, I took his comment to mean that he was trying to find out where he might fit into your life. Now he knows. Again, I was not there and I could be completely off base-but there's a plausable explaination that's completly different. |
| 2011-01-09 3:38 PM in reply to: #3288370 |
Master 2014 Ohio | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me shunami - 2011-01-09 4:33 PM Seems like this guy could might idea of what he's looking for in a relationship and knowing that there's always some give and take, he's poking around to find your limits. Although the tone he uses to ask that question is kind of important. Or he could be a little insecure about where he'd fit in your busy schedule. Guys like feeling needed, just stand around a party with a capped beer bottle and see how long it takes before someone offers to open it for you. Folks don't have to understand why we do the things we do, but it is important that they respect it. Just my $0.02 Look at that, I got beat by 4 minutes.  |
| 2011-01-09 3:51 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Expert 1258 Marin County, California | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me And it isn't just men either! Women can be just as bad....at least gay women can. Zanne. |
| 2011-01-09 3:57 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Master 1441 North edge of nowhere | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me All I can do is reiterate what everyone else has said: it's not all men, it's just some individuals. I've encountered women who reacted similarly. By contrast, when I started dating the woman I'm with, she was racing with Colavida New Mexico and riding 200+ miles/week. I'm great with it, encourage it, and don't mind having to side-line dinner plans when she needed to ride. I'm even disappointed that she's not riding much anymore. It's all up to individual quirks. |
| 2011-01-09 4:14 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Champion 4942 Richmond, VA | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me |
| 2011-01-09 6:10 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Champion 6046 New York, NY | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me I just got an email asking me out again!!! and I will be saying no. good to know there are men who can dig it. |
| 2011-01-09 6:19 PM in reply to: #3288209 |
| Alpharetta, Georgia | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me JG_GreenCoast - 2011-01-09 1:42 PM All I want is a woman who I share some interests with and none are more important than fitness and tri right now. Waiting for a triathlete to fall into my life :/ I don't understand men like that either, though... May I direct you to the BT Singles thread... Please post age, location, full body shots, etc.  |
| 2011-01-09 8:12 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Master 1890 Cypress, CA | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me This is an easy one. He's interested in sleeping with you, and hoping the rest of the stuff will work out. Have you seen "When Harry Met Sally"? |
| 2011-01-09 8:17 PM in reply to: #3288102 |
Veteran 179 | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me DerekL - 2011-01-09 10:33 AM Ok. So people have different interests. Is this news to anybody? You date to see if you're compatible with somebody. You're obviously not. Agreed... ps.. The fact this guy is emailing you trying to schedule ANOTHER date is all the more reason to look elsewhere. He obviously doesn't want to face the obvious.. NOT COMPATIBLE. He needs to learn to "get over it"..  |
| 2011-01-09 8:29 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Champion 7558 Albuquerque, New Mexico | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me In his defense, he was sitting across from you, and if I were sitting there, I'd be so mentally overloaded that what my mind wants to say and what comes out of my mouth would likely be worlds apart. Don't change because of him. |
| 2011-01-09 10:24 PM in reply to: #3288042 |
Expert 1006 Kansas City, MO | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me He is definitely not the right guy for you, I will give you one hint with men....tell this fella straight up you only want to be friends or less....we do not take hints well. BTW, nice guns!!!
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| 2011-01-10 1:02 AM in reply to: #3288660 |
Master 1903 Portland, Oregon | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me TriToy - 2011-01-09 4:10 PM I just got an email asking me out again!!! and I will be saying no. good to know there are men who can dig it. Ask him when he's going to start getting active and tell him he can meet you for a quick 8 miles at 4:45am Wednesday morning... |
| 2011-01-10 2:52 AM in reply to: #3288042 |
Champion 34263 Chicago | Subject: RE: Someone 'splain men to me It's not him, it's you. And your training. |
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