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ok all the guys were right
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 2011-02-05 5:06 PM |
Champion  6046    New York, NY |  Subject: ok all the guys were rightOn your advice to be clear, because the guy who I thought took the 'just friends' thing to heart sent the longest diatribe email yesterday and had not accepted that I meant that.... I was clear this time - very short - not interested. |
| 2011-02-05 5:08 PM in reply to: #3340863 |
Iron Donkey 38643   , Wisconsin | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right The boot to the head worked. |
| 2011-02-05 5:26 PM in reply to: #3340863 |
Pro 4277 Parker, CO | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right "Just be friends". I would hear that occasionally when I was single. Really would pizz me off! My wife even told me that the first time I asked her out. I'm not sure what made me ask her again months later...but I guess I looked more like dating material then. Just curious...are you not interested in dating or just not dating him? (maybe that was a previous thread that I missed) |
| 2011-02-05 6:46 PM in reply to: #3340863 |
Champion 6046 New York, NY | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right Just not him. his kiss of death (besides my lack of any physical attraction to him) was when he asked if I would be retiring soon from training/racing. Followed at the end of the evening by concerns over my schedule. Clearly too needy. |
| 2011-02-05 10:12 PM in reply to: #3340863 |
Master 2346 Dayton, Minnesota Bronze member | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right Please do post a modified/sanitized/edited/non-identifying version of said diatribe for our entertainment. |
| 2011-02-06 6:23 AM in reply to: #3341135 |
Champion 6046 New York, NY | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right Here you go Kelly - it actually continued, talking about my younger son - so off base as to be laughable. This is the guy who when I talked about training on our one "date" asked if I was going to retire soon, and then at the end of the evening when asking if I would like to get together, I said I would have to see what my schedule was. He then motioned with his hand - starting high going low and said 'let me get this straight - you have the boys, work, training, and....' the implication being he would be the bottom (true). cat: If you are ready to play well with others, to wit, with me, then I would like to try going out with you again. But first: I did not appreciate your walking past me at the corner of 81st and Broadway last Friday afternoon, without stopping to chat a moment, especially after I offered to carry your "heavy packages." indeed I had been walking for 10 blocks with bags that were VERY heavy (groceries) and with momentum said that I had to keep moving - he chose to interpret however. I did not appreciate your calling me "nothing" at AG, especially when I was just joshing with you about the gentle griping Noah did during your swim as to the diet you and he were on (which he appreciated) and the restraints it would place on his going out for dinner (which he did not) -- resulting, not only in the inappropriate and insulting comment, but in the patently passive-aggressive cancellation of dinner altogether. Noah has a weight problem. I have been working with him on it - and as I try to get to race weight we have been eating the same and together. This guy, who is overweight tries to interject about dinner like he had a say regarding Noah - which more than pizzed me off so yes I made it clear that in regards to my son he was nothing. This guy volunteered to join Noah to count the one hour postal for me - I made it clear what the task was. That is the only reason he got to meet Noah. I also did not appreciate your email of January 10th,(the email you all told me to be clear in) in which you wrote in part: "I should also be clear that [1] I am not looking for more than friendship -- as you have ascertained, my life is quite busy -- we are still in transition from Boston, still in boxes still without much (really any) furniture, I am busy building a practice, doing media being a single mom and getting back into training - a VERY important part of my life that is absolutely non negotiable. . . . [2] I get the impression you need someone who puts you higher on the list -- and given that right now I am really not looking for a relationship I need to be clear." First, as to point one, more than two weeks earlier, I wrote you an email, apropos of nothing more than my own awareness and appreciation of the "busy-ness" surrounding your life, which expressed the exact same things you did in your email (other than the facts that you were still in boxes and without much or any furniture -- two facts I knew not, and could know not, anything about). Second, it is indisputably untrue that when we first met that you were not looking "for more than friendship," (wow he is a mind reader???) even if it was true when you wrote it on February 10th, but which I also find very hard to believe, as evidenced by your subsequent willingness to "go out" (after my counting for you at AG -- and before we knew that Noah would also be attending). Notably, when I met you on the street corner some Sunday morning a couple of months or so ago walking your Welsh terrier (Tootsie, I think???), I started to ask you, and you finished my question, whether you were "seeing anyone" and you proceeded to answer "no." I then asked if you would like to go out and you said "yes." Clearly, it was not an invitation to become "just friends"; and it was not an indication on your part that it was what you wanted. (I am not addressing your unequivocal right to change your mind, which, of course, you do and always have the right to do.) Next, in response to my "meow" email, you wrote, and I think I recall it verbatim: "I have been known to purr . . . under the right circumstances of course," which is palpably not "just friends" talk, but overtly sexual banter.(actually it was a reference to when my back is scratched - including by my kids so clearly not sexual) As to point two, I find it concerning that, after being in each other's presence a mere five hours over two dates spanning three weeks, you were so perceptive as to have gotten the "impression [that I] I need someone who puts me higher on the list"(see comments regarding our 'date') and, concomitantly, your need to note, with emphasis no less, that training was "a VERY important part of [your] life that is absolutely non negotiable" -- as if I had any opinion as to such latter matter, let alone an objection to it. For the avoidance of doubt, I did not. However, if I did, I would not have asked you out a second, and surely not a third, time, for only a troglodyte would want to go out with someone he expected would be willing to change who she was and what she wanted after just two dates or, indeed, consonant with my values, at any time whatsoever. Moreover, I should also be clear that I did not then, and especially do not now, have any interest being high or higher up on your totem pole of commitments. Indeed, I did not then, and I especially do not now, know if I even want to be on your total pole. It is what I am trying to find out. I like you principally because your mind and, if I had and have any expectation at all in respect of it specifically, or you generally, it would be that you would use it always and well. I have no interest and no right, nor in my opinion would it ever be right for me, at any time, to try to change who and what you are. I am not even trying to change your hypomanic behavior. I am just asking if you are willing to try to change the persistent and pervasive irritability and rudeness that you have exhibited, in other words, that you try playing well with me. I debated responding as I did above, but instead simply wrote back not interested. |
| 2011-02-06 7:00 AM in reply to: #3340863 |
Melon Presser 52116 | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right Wow. He kind of lost me right after "cat:" I think "not interested" was a very smart response, and good of you to give credit where credit was due.  Edited by TriAya 2011-02-06 7:02 AM |
| 2011-02-06 7:27 AM in reply to: #3340863 |
Expert 2189 Dodge County, MN (out in the corn) | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right I love how he says he'd be willing to go out with you again, BUT first..... Then goes off on a huge list of transgressions. Like he'd be doing you some kind of favor. Glad you told him to pound sand. Toolbag... |
| 2011-02-06 7:42 AM in reply to: #3340863 |
Extreme Veteran 837 Wellesley, Massachusetts | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right Who writes like that?! No wonder you don't have time for him. It took me 10 min just to get through half of that email. Good riddance. This guy is self- absorbed, whiny and seems to need to be right all the time when he should just give up. |
| 2011-02-06 7:46 AM in reply to: #3340863 |
Extreme Veteran 837 Wellesley, Massachusetts | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right Who writes like that?! No wonder you don't have time for him. It took me 10 min just to get through half of that email. Good riddance. This guy is self- absorbed, whiny and seems to need to be right all the time when he should just give up. |
| 2011-02-06 8:15 AM in reply to: #3341274 |
Champion 4835 Eat Cheese or Die | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right rowdypaint - 2011-02-06 7:27 AM I love how he says he'd be willing to go out with you again, BUT first..... Then goes off on a huge list of transgressions. Like he'd be doing you some kind of favor. Glad you told him to pound sand. Toolbag... I concur, what a Toolbag. This dude has issues. He's probably going to reply back to you're "not interested" email. Don't feed the Troll applies here as well. He seems to be looking for attention even if it's negative. |
| 2011-02-06 9:44 AM in reply to: #3340863 |
Veteran 416 | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right Wow! It's a testament to our endurance that you survived TWO dates with they guy! Based on his email, I think I would get a headache just talking to him. |
| 2011-02-06 9:54 AM in reply to: #3341361 |
Melon Presser 52116 | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right InnerAthlete - 2011-02-06 11:44 PM Wow! It's a testament to our endurance that you survived TWO dates with they guy! Based on his email, I think I would get a headache just talking to him. Yeah ... as I said, he lost me right after "Cat" and the headache set in within the first line. Heh. |
| 2011-02-06 9:59 AM in reply to: #3341243 |
Extreme Veteran 392 Raleigh | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right TriToy - 2011-02-06 6:23 AM I debated responding as I did above, but instead simply wrote back not interested. I give you credit for tact, 'cause I would have written back "F**k off and seek therapy." Needy, pretentious, and psuedo intellectual people annoy me. P.S. Time to change the email address... sounds like a potential stalker. Edited by bullyboy 2011-02-06 10:02 AM |
| 2011-02-06 10:00 AM in reply to: #3341255 |
| Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right TriAya - 2011-02-06 5:00 AM Wow. He kind of lost me right after "cat:" I think "not interested" was a very smart response, and good of you to give credit where credit was due. What TriAya said. I almost didn't read past the opening part where he said he would be willing to go our with you again if you changed, or at least that's what I read. One of or possibly two things come to mind. He has DSB and/or he is an insecure needy lil girl trapped in a mans body,,,,,
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| 2011-02-06 10:12 AM in reply to: #3340863 |
Elite 2793 Denver | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right This guy needs to learn to use more paragraphs. Then maybe he'd be better dating material. |
| 2011-02-06 11:39 AM in reply to: #3341274 |
| Iron Donkey 38643 , Wisconsin | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right rowdypaint - 2011-02-06 7:27 AM I love how he says he'd be willing to go out with you again, BUT first..... Then goes off on a huge list of transgressions. Like he'd be doing you some kind of favor. Glad you told him to pound sand. DToolbag... Fixeded. |
| 2011-02-06 11:40 AM in reply to: #3341395 |
| Iron Donkey 38643 , Wisconsin | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right wavedog - 2011-02-06 10:12 AM This guy needs to learn to use more paragraphs. Then maybe he'd be better dating material. He missed the term "Keep It Simple S...". |
| 2011-02-06 11:46 AM in reply to: #3340863 |
Champion 10668 Tacoma, Washington | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right To say the least, the guy's got issues... |
| 2011-02-06 12:29 PM in reply to: #3341243 |
Master 2346 Dayton, Minnesota Bronze member | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right *blink* *blink* Wow. That is, uh...what's the word?...nuts. And can we say "pretentious??" Sheesh. How many big smart words does he need to include to establish he intelligence? As others have said, you showed much greater restraint than I would have. Good for you. (And thanks for the entertainment. |
| 2011-02-06 12:36 PM in reply to: #3340863 |
| Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right Ick, just............ Ick. I can't imagine what a date with him would be like. Hopefully he will leave you alone now! |
| 2011-02-06 12:57 PM in reply to: #3341582 |
Pro 4909 Hailey, ID | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right Cat, you're crazy. You missed out on a winner here. |
| 2011-02-06 2:10 PM in reply to: #3340863 |
Veteran 297 Lomma | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right It puts the lotion on its skin... That guy is a major weirdo! Who the heck goes on and on like that just because a girl say she just want to be friends? |
| 2011-02-06 2:27 PM in reply to: #3340863 |
Champion 6503 NOVA - Ironic for an Endurance Athlete | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right He just likes you for your "brain"? He doesn't like your personality? Or your looks? Weird. Just weird. Meow. |
| 2011-02-06 2:32 PM in reply to: #3340863 |
Elite 2729 Puyallup, WA | Subject: RE: ok all the guys were right Ok...I gotta be honest, I stopped reading about halfway through his e-mail. Is he a lawyer, by chance? He is referencing your prior e-mails (with dates) and quotes.... Also, you're in the largest city in America...and you're worried about not being able to find someone else :-D (Even if someone else is good looking and brain dead, but tolerable of your lifestyle....That would kill some time!) |
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