Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 10)

I didn't say you made a blanket assumption. I was suggesting that if you were to do so, it wouldn't necessarily lead to understanding or insight into these men.

Circumstances vary. Everyone's reasons are different. Take people one at a time; that's how you'll find them.

I agree that living conditions are something to consider when assessing. As you said, not a deal breaker, but something to consider.

Capito?

Sure, throw us Apt dwellers under the bus (smiling)...

What if they are former home owners, who are now apartment dwellers?    

Some of us are still helping pay for those homes, too

And what if you live in an urban area where most people are apartment dwellers? One can only wonder how she feels about condos!

Ok, I will finally chime in on the roomate/apt comments...   

I do live alone and in an apartment.  It's a transition time for me and wasnt ready to make another purchase while still paying another mortgage.  More importantly though, not ready to call one part of town home so liike idea of renting at the moment.   I'm 36 and couldn't imagine having a roomate at this stage of the game.   I keep too busy a schedule and lifestyle to worry about anyone else in my place.   Sometimes just nice to come home to the peace and quiet.   Your right though in that is is usually a financial reason why someone (outside of thier 20's) would have a roomate IMHO. 

DeannaS - 2012-05-07 3:32 PM

Muskrat37 - 2012-05-07 5:20 PM

DeannaS - 2012-05-07 3:04 PM

lisac957 - 2012-05-07 3:18 PM

Question for the single guys. Something I've noted with the past... MANY guys I've dated.

None of them live alone.

I tend a bit older than you (guys in their 40's), and it's a relatively small pool of guys that I have gone out on more than 1 date, so take it for what you will. But, of the ones I've dated, they either own their own home and have a room mate to help pay the bills (2) or own their own homes and live alone (1), or own their own home and live with their kids (2). I've had first dates with apartment dwellers, but generally found that we are incompatible on multiple levels - home ownership being but just one.

Sure, throw us Apt dwellers under the bus (smiling)...

What if they are former home owners, who are now apartment dwellers?    

I'm not throwing apartment dwellers under the bus - only saying what my limited personal experience has shown. I went on a date with one apartment dweller that I would have dated again, but he wasn't interested, if that helps. (Though, truth be told, he was probably right in his assessment of our compatibility more than I was. I just happened to find him smokin' hot.)

It's ok...I have found that I am not compatible with carrots that own homes.

Naw, just teasing. But there is a major difference between a grown-up apartment and a college apartment. The adult apartment has nicer bikes in the living room

How much is normal rent in your area? My area a 2 bedroom apartment runs from 1300 to 1900 depending on the area. A house is 2000+

Homes on my street go for around $575k and up. That would be no parking, single-family rowhome, around 1600-1800 sqft. Parking or a yard adds $50k to the price of a home.

I rent the first and second floor of a restored 1870's row home, two bedrooms, backyard and parking. There are definitely no college students who can afford to live here, unless you count my son

That's how my city is, too. I don't expect every person to be ready for home-ownership by XX age, but the whole roommate thing just perplexes me.

I've dated:
30-year-old who has a 40-year-old roommate
32-year old living with his brother
30-year old living with his brother and sister in law
33-year-old living with college buddy's brother 
33-year old living with 35-year-old roommate
32-year old living with 35-year-old roommate
28-year-old living with married couple friends 

ALL of these guys have steady full-time jobs with good income. Two are even junior executive level professionals. Of all of them listed above, only one is divorced. The rest never married, so the settlement theory does not apply. Some of these own their own homes, but still have roommates. Weird, eh?

I'm 32 and own my own home, and I have a roommate.  I guess I don't get why it's weird.  It's not that I haven't lived alone before, or I can't, but when my mortgage is $900/mo, and I'm getting $700 to rent a room out, why is that bad?  I guess part of it is also I haven't been in a real relationship for 5 years, so I really haven't had the need to have a place by myself.  I like having a roommate, who will feed my dog so I don't have to come home right after work so I can train, and paying for my mortgage is a huge plus.  I will say, though, that when I get in a serious relationship, the roommate goes.  Plus, my friend who's my new roommate, just bought a road bike and is starting to train for her first sprint tri later this year.  It's nice because we can make sure we eat healthy, get up for training, etc, and we kinda push each other when we need to HTFU and go do a workout. 

I was hoping someone would chime in who fit the bill - thanks for your insight. 

I am assuming from your pic you are a guy and your roommate is a gal? Are you both heterosexual? Do either of you date? I am super curious about that dynamic.

Also what part of the country do you live in? This may be a regional or size of city thing?

I'm not closed to the idea of dating someone with a roommate (obviously... look at my list ). But the impression I get from those I have dated (not you) in that situation is they are not quite ready to be a grown up - in more ways than one - not just financially.

I have a very similar view (and experience) to TJ, just 12 years married, not 18...

Yes lol I'm a guy and my roommate is a girl.  I'm single, and she has a boyfriend, and yes, I do date and I'm straight.  I live in Arizona, but I moved here from Chicago about 2 1/2 years ago, and actually most of my friends there had roommates too.  I've never had a problem with dating a girl and having a female roommate, but I also make sure that my roommate and I have an understanding.  If I bring back a date and make dinner and want to watch a movie or talk, she goes up to the loft or her bedroom, and vice versa.  Or I'll go to the gym, or bring my pup to the dog park for awhile.  Also, I make sure that I introduce a girl I'm dating to my roommate, mostly have a group go out to dinner or something, so she can see that we're JUST friends and nothing more. 

I completely understand the "not grown up" part of having roommates.  That's not why I have one, but my first roommate when I bought my house was, and still is, not ready to get past the college-party mind frame.  Needless to say, although we're still great friends, he lives elsewhere now.  He wanted to have a roommate so he had somebody to party with ALL the time, and he wanted my house to be a "bachelor pad."  I want neither. 

Hey Lisa... I'm 32, bought a house a couple years ago, own 2 cars, 4 bikes, a 4 Wheeler, and I live alone... I wish I had a roommate, just not a guy! haha.

Although I'm also in a different age range, I don't think I would find it that strange.  I think it's a tough economy and it can make financial sense.  I'm a grad student and I know many grad students that are in their 30's that still live with roommates.  Now as long as they're not still living with their parents I'm fine...