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Depression and Moods- Check in! (Page 18)
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 2010-01-20 1:25 PM in reply to: #2624441 |
Science Nerd  28760       Redwood City, California |  Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in!blairrob - 2010-01-20 2:14 PM Artemis - 2010-01-20 2:42 PM I'm not thrilled to be back on drugs, but I owe it to my husband and, more importantly, myself to do something about this. Ain't that the truth! You do deserve to be happy . Nobody deserves to be unhappy. I'm glad you have seen the Doc; hopefully they're someone who cares about your health and will help you to feel better. You didn't mention if you are bi-polar, but for what it's worth I know a fellow who does, who is active promoting mental health in Canada, is a really good guy with a family, and just happens to be President of a large business with several hundred employees. He's proof that that one can be beaten with some help- that's a motivator for me when I see folks able to manage it well. Good on ya for posting! Blair I haven't been diagnosed with bipolar and I'm not sure I really am. I don't really get the mania, mostly just the depression. I get periods where I am able to function normally and I kind of see those as manic compared to what I'm used to dealing with. It's just something I worry about. |
| 2010-01-20 1:30 PM in reply to: #2624358 |
Melon Presser 52116 | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Artemis - 2010-01-21 2:42 AM Hi everyone, I finally went to my doctor today and I have a prescription for Sarafem (it's worst during my period). I'm not thrilled to be back on drugs, but I owe it to my husband and, more importantly, myself to do something about this. WELCOME, Badger Jen. {{{MELON PRESS}}} It means so much to me (that I have tears coming out of my eyes) that you have continuously supported me and reached out to me when things were so dark for yourself, too. I'm really proud of you. |
| 2010-01-20 1:34 PM in reply to: #2624502 |
Science Nerd 28760 Redwood City, California | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! TriAya - 2010-01-20 2:30 PM Artemis - 2010-01-21 2:42 AM Hi everyone, I finally went to my doctor today and I have a prescription for Sarafem (it's worst during my period). I'm not thrilled to be back on drugs, but I owe it to my husband and, more importantly, myself to do something about this. WELCOME, Badger Jen. {{{MELON PRESS}}} It means so much to me (that I have tears coming out of my eyes) that you have continuously supported me and reached out to me when things were so dark for yourself, too. I'm really proud of you. Thanks, Yanti! {{BIG HUG!}} I've been crying basically since I wrote this, but I feel a lot better having done it. |
| 2010-01-20 2:00 PM in reply to: #2624483 |
Extreme Veteran 1074 | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Artemis - 2010-01-20 1:25 PM blairrob - 2010-01-20 2:14 PM Artemis - 2010-01-20 2:42 PM I'm not thrilled to be back on drugs, but I owe it to my husband and, more importantly, myself to do something about this. Ain't that the truth! You do deserve to be happy . Nobody deserves to be unhappy. I'm glad you have seen the Doc; hopefully they're someone who cares about your health and will help you to feel better. You didn't mention if you are bi-polar, but for what it's worth I know a fellow who does, who is active promoting mental health in Canada, is a really good guy with a family, and just happens to be President of a large business with several hundred employees. He's proof that that one can be beaten with some help- that's a motivator for me when I see folks able to manage it well. Good on ya for posting! Blair I haven't been diagnosed with bipolar and I'm not sure I really am. I don't really get the mania, mostly just the depression. I get periods where I am able to function normally and I kind of see those as manic compared to what I'm used to dealing with. It's just something I worry about. Hey, welcome to the thread, I would call it the loony bin, but that might offend......Its safe here and all the walls are virtually padded. Theres a number of us and we're all here for each other. Its a great place to let things out. Once when I was doing pretty lousy, I wanted to go swim but couldnt. I sat basically catatonic on the bench in the locker room telling myself how worthless I was for the better part of an hour. Finally, finally grabbed it by the balls and swam. Felt a bit better the rest of the day. My shrink talks about depression being a-motivational: it saps your desire and energy. Our job is to fight back when we can and DO things. Periods where you can function normally, man I used to get that too. Would be like WTF? I shouldnt feel this way. Instead of enjoying it I would look for the next thing to haul my a$$ back into the dark. Depression gets very jealous when we feel good and will fight dirty to get back in control. Now, with the meds and taking the steps again, you're back in control and can kick some a$$. Stop in when you can to let us know how youre doing and especially stop in if you need to dump stuff..... |
| 2010-01-20 2:14 PM in reply to: #1319576 |
Expert 1158 Chicagoland | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Welcome. I think it is great that you are reporting in and I hope everything starts picking up. I have been reluctant to chime in with my situation because I don't want to whine. (Which I guess is what I am doing right now!) A month ago I told myself that I had enough. I was mentally and physically beat after 30 years of this black hole. It wasn't a way to live. I got talked down from that cliff but really only thought it was best for my family not me. I really enjoy hearing the success stories here but have come to a realization that I am stuck in this hole and I should make the best of it. Despite my depression I have always liked hearing the victories. I don't feel sorry for myself or seek pity from anyone. This is my lot in life. I have worked hard to get better but I get nothing. So I will trudge along and hope that I don't bring anyone down with me. Maybe I will try to fight again but my spirit is just spent. The whining that I do even bums me out further. My family and triathlons keep me focused so I have that. I am not trying to give a dark picture of depression because I really believe that you can prevail. The right meds, therapy and support can pull almost everyone through. Just not me. It's just that I have waited, struggled, and fought so long that I am just tired of hoping for the best. Fortunately, I love my wife and kids and want to be around for them for a long time. Apologies for my whining. I guess I just wanted to tell someone besides myself. |
| 2010-01-21 1:23 PM in reply to: #2624642 |
Melon Presser 52116 | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! TeddieMao - 2010-01-21 4:14 AM Welcome. I think it is great that you are reporting in and I hope everything starts picking up. I have been reluctant to chime in with my situation because I don't want to whine. (Which I guess is what I am doing right now!) A month ago I told myself that I had enough. I was mentally and physically beat after 30 years of this black hole. It wasn't a way to live. I got talked down from that cliff but really only thought it was best for my family not me. I really enjoy hearing the success stories here but have come to a realization that I am stuck in this hole and I should make the best of it. Despite my depression I have always liked hearing the victories. I don't feel sorry for myself or seek pity from anyone. This is my lot in life. I have worked hard to get better but I get nothing. So I will trudge along and hope that I don't bring anyone down with me. Maybe I will try to fight again but my spirit is just spent. The whining that I do even bums me out further. My family and triathlons keep me focused so I have that. I am not trying to give a dark picture of depression because I really believe that you can prevail. The right meds, therapy and support can pull almost everyone through. Just not me. It's just that I have waited, struggled, and fought so long that I am just tired of hoping for the best. Fortunately, I love my wife and kids and want to be around for them for a long time. Apologies for my whining. I guess I just wanted to tell someone besides myself. Ted darling, Never be afraid to speak your truth. For some, their illnesses are chronic and refractory. I am so very, very sorry for your struggles. For what it's worth ... YOU have (several times) been that one voice that kept me off the edge. Though I am surrounded by many amazing people, several of whom truly understand, I know that YOU really understand. I find your fortitude in the face of terrible darkness incredibly inspiring. Always remember--though there is no mitigating the persistence and profundity of bad feelings--the power that your example and your remarkable active encouragement of others brings to them. Is it fair that you're a kind of sacrificial lamb? Does it make the suffering "worth it" just because others are so helped? No, of course not. Nothing neutralizes this type of difficulty. I just wanted you to know how very much you mean to me, how very much your journey in the darkness has allowed me to continue mine, and how deeply touched I am that time and time again you have been there for me no matter what you were going through. |
| 2010-01-22 11:33 PM in reply to: #1319576 |
Extreme Veteran 1112 Las Vegas | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Welcome Artemis to our little corner of the Tri forum. I too have my up and down days, although being in a sales type job, I have perfected the fake smile and have the ability to act. I actually have to become another person that is happy, upbeat, and positive. It is all very fake and takes quite a bit of effort. For the longest time I didn't talk about it to anyone including wifey. She knew something was wrong, because I was always tearful, and would sit crying for no reason. I finally told her and she made me go to the doctor (typical male I know). For quite a few years it was sleep all the time and cry at the drop of a hat. This beast that whispers in our ear, and waits for us in the dark shadows of our mind is a liar, but is relentless and worms its way into our lives. I hate the way I feel. I spend most of my days in a fog of semi reality almost day dreaming of death. I can see in my mind the car running off the road, or flying over the handelbars of the bike, or something else as .......oops sorry didn't mean to go on a rant. anyway welcome Edited by SWIM2LIVE 2010-01-22 11:42 PM |
| 2010-01-23 11:21 AM in reply to: #2624358 |
Master 2429 Falls Church, Virginia | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Artemis - 2010-01-20 1:42 PM Hi everyone, I decided it's probably time for me to say hi in this thread and share my story. I was first diagnosed with depression my freshman year of college 10(!) years ago. I was on anti-depressants for awhile and was doing a lot better. I also found out I was having panic attacks and got treatment for that. I was off meds for the year after college and doing quite well. Then, I got married, moved across the country, and started grad school all within a month of each other. Unsurprisingly, depression decided to make an appearance again and I went back on the medication. This time was for about 18 months. That was about three years ago. I've been managing grad school ok - I'm in my 4th year of a PhD after finishing a Master's - and I have some great friends now. But, I've noticed over the past 6 months or so that I'm kind of miserable. I randomly start crying or getting angry at my husband for tiny things. I've kind of resisted treatment because I've always been concerned that I'm bipolar. I don't know if that's actually true as I tend to just have the really bad without the really good, but there's family history and I worry. I have no energy or motivation and I really just want to sit on the couch all day watching trashy TV. I'm sleeping a ton, although I have nights where I can't sleep at all. It's not a good situation and it's definitely putting a strain on my relationship with my husband. I finally went to my doctor today and I have a prescription for Sarafem (it's worst during my period). I'm not thrilled to be back on drugs, but I owe it to my husband and, more importantly, myself to do something about this. Hi and welcome. I got diagnosed with bipolar, and I never really thought the description fit. When you described yourself, depressed but just assuming the normal functions were manic, that sounds more like me. I never really understood the mania thing. My doctors all saw it though, so go figure. It can be hard to see the true self when you don't have a mirror, right? Yeah being on drugs sucks sometimes, but good for you for deciding it was the right decision for you right now. Keep us posted. |
| 2010-01-23 11:22 AM in reply to: #2624642 |
Master 2429 Falls Church, Virginia | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! TeddieMao - 2010-01-20 3:14 PM Welcome. I think it is great that you are reporting in and I hope everything starts picking up. I have been reluctant to chime in with my situation because I don't want to whine. (Which I guess is what I am doing right now!) A month ago I told myself that I had enough. I was mentally and physically beat after 30 years of this black hole. It wasn't a way to live. I got talked down from that cliff but really only thought it was best for my family not me. I really enjoy hearing the success stories here but have come to a realization that I am stuck in this hole and I should make the best of it. Despite my depression I have always liked hearing the victories. I don't feel sorry for myself or seek pity from anyone. This is my lot in life. I have worked hard to get better but I get nothing. So I will trudge along and hope that I don't bring anyone down with me. Maybe I will try to fight again but my spirit is just spent. The whining that I do even bums me out further. My family and triathlons keep me focused so I have that. I am not trying to give a dark picture of depression because I really believe that you can prevail. The right meds, therapy and support can pull almost everyone through. Just not me. It's just that I have waited, struggled, and fought so long that I am just tired of hoping for the best. Fortunately, I love my wife and kids and want to be around for them for a long time. Apologies for my whining. I guess I just wanted to tell someone besides myself. You're supposed to come whine here. This is the place to do it, and not feel guilty about it. |
| 2010-01-23 11:28 AM in reply to: #1319576 |
Master 2429 Falls Church, Virginia | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Just ramblings... Do you ever feel like if you think about the depression it might make it come back? I tell myself I'm healed, that I beat it, that its gone. I tell myself I was better than this demon, that all I needed to do was decide not to be depressed anymore and it would go away. And it did. That's what's weird. It really went away. I convinced myself I was depressed because my mother's awful, and my ex was terrible, and it wasn't me it was them. This is who I really am, this person now. And I'm happy, for lack of a better word. Sure, I wish it rained money and that I didn't have to work. I wish I didn't owe on my taxes this year and that I had a better car. Little things, normal things, not depression. So why am I worried? Why do I think I'll never be happy, that I'll always be alone, that it will come back and get me? Why do I think that when I feel happy, I'm not alone, and I see only brightness ahead? Does thinking about being depressed make you depressed, or is it something else? I just don't want to get sucked in again. I'm more terrified of it now that everything's fine than I ever was when I was feeling bad. |
| 2010-01-23 12:08 PM in reply to: #2630416 |
Extreme Veteran 1074 | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Atlantia - 2010-01-23 11:28 AM Just ramblings... Do you ever feel like if you think about the depression it might make it come back? I tell myself I'm healed, that I beat it, that its gone. I tell myself I was better than this demon, that all I needed to do was decide not to be depressed anymore and it would go away. And it did. That's what's weird. It really went away. I convinced myself I was depressed because my mother's awful, and my ex was terrible, and it wasn't me it was them. This is who I really am, this person now. And I'm happy, for lack of a better word. Sure, I wish it rained money and that I didn't have to work. I wish I didn't owe on my taxes this year and that I had a better car. Little things, normal things, not depression. So why am I worried? Why do I think I'll never be happy, that I'll always be alone, that it will come back and get me? Why do I think that when I feel happy, I'm not alone, and I see only brightness ahead? Does thinking about being depressed make you depressed, or is it something else? I just don't want to get sucked in again. I'm more terrified of it now that everything's fine than I ever was when I was feeling bad. I go thru that often too. I get where I am just friggen CERTAIN that the other shoe is going to drop, and drop hard, at any moment. That "when life looks like easy street there is danger at your door." I dont know why, but sometimes it is like things are too good and have been for too long, somethings GOTTA change. That's the depression talking. Its what normal folks dont get about what we have. We have this insidious "voice" in our heads that constantly tries to tell us we are worthless, things will fail, things are too good, we dont deserve such happiness/serenity/reward in life. Worst of all is that it is always selling the idea that depressed is better than what we have now. That voice is always going to be there. The meds, the therapy, the exercise, whatever gets you thru the day--these are the things that help us realize the voice is BS and give us the power to tell that voice "go fu** yourself" Every day, the voice and I have words. The voice always comes back for more, but so far I am winning the battle. At least that is how I am trying to see it. |
| 2010-01-23 3:07 PM in reply to: #2630408 |
Science Nerd 28760 Redwood City, California | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Atlantia - 2010-01-23 12:21 PM Hi and welcome. I got diagnosed with bipolar, and I never really thought the description fit. When you described yourself, depressed but just assuming the normal functions were manic, that sounds more like me. I never really understood the mania thing. My doctors all saw it though, so go figure. It can be hard to see the true self when you don't have a mirror, right? Yeah being on drugs sucks sometimes, but good for you for deciding it was the right decision for you right now. Keep us posted. Interesting. The mania thing doesn't make sense to me. But, none of my doctors have mentioned bipolar even though I've described my symptoms and told them about family history. It's definitely hard to see your true self, even with a mirror. |
| 2010-01-23 3:10 PM in reply to: #2630416 |
Science Nerd 28760 Redwood City, California | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Atlantia - 2010-01-23 12:28 PM Just ramblings... Do you ever feel like if you think about the depression it might make it come back? I tell myself I'm healed, that I beat it, that its gone. I tell myself I was better than this demon, that all I needed to do was decide not to be depressed anymore and it would go away. And it did. That's what's weird. It really went away. I convinced myself I was depressed because my mother's awful, and my ex was terrible, and it wasn't me it was them. This is who I really am, this person now. And I'm happy, for lack of a better word. Sure, I wish it rained money and that I didn't have to work. I wish I didn't owe on my taxes this year and that I had a better car. Little things, normal things, not depression. So why am I worried? Why do I think I'll never be happy, that I'll always be alone, that it will come back and get me? Why do I think that when I feel happy, I'm not alone, and I see only brightness ahead? Does thinking about being depressed make you depressed, or is it something else? I just don't want to get sucked in again. I'm more terrified of it now that everything's fine than I ever was when I was feeling bad. It's very tough. I've gone through the same things. I think this is my third or fourth round of anti-depressants, so I've kind of resigned myself to the fact that it will come back. And, I've been in denial about it for at least six months this time. It's not good. I think there's a line we have to walk between being aware of the depression (not ignoring it) and obsessing about it. Does thinking too much about it cause it? Maybe. I don't know. I'm not very good at appreciating when times are good, either. I tend to always feel like it's waiting for me around the corner and sooner or later it's going to jump me. I don't know how to deal with that. |
| 2010-01-23 9:43 PM in reply to: #2630669 |
Expert 1690 | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Artemis - 2010-01-23 4:10 PM Atlantia - 2010-01-23 12:28 PM Just ramblings... Do you ever feel like if you think about the depression it might make it come back? I tell myself I'm healed, that I beat it, that its gone. I tell myself I was better than this demon, that all I needed to do was decide not to be depressed anymore and it would go away. And it did. That's what's weird. It really went away. I convinced myself I was depressed because my mother's awful, and my ex was terrible, and it wasn't me it was them. This is who I really am, this person now. And I'm happy, for lack of a better word. Sure, I wish it rained money and that I didn't have to work. I wish I didn't owe on my taxes this year and that I had a better car. Little things, normal things, not depression. So why am I worried? Why do I think I'll never be happy, that I'll always be alone, that it will come back and get me? Why do I think that when I feel happy, I'm not alone, and I see only brightness ahead? Does thinking about being depressed make you depressed, or is it something else? I just don't want to get sucked in again. I'm more terrified of it now that everything's fine than I ever was when I was feeling bad. It's very tough. I've gone through the same things. I think this is my third or fourth round of anti-depressants, so I've kind of resigned myself to the fact that it will come back. And, I've been in denial about it for at least six months this time. It's not good. I think there's a line we have to walk between being aware of the depression (not ignoring it) and obsessing about it. Does thinking too much about it cause it? Maybe. I don't know. I'm not very good at appreciating when times are good, either. I tend to always feel like it's waiting for me around the corner and sooner or later it's going to jump me. I don't know how to deal with that. I dont usually poke in this thread but i see its become active lately again (unfortunately) so i figure id read the last few posts. I was put on anti depressants when i was 13 and have not gone off them since, I'm now 24. Ive been on more than I care to name. I usually get a good year before its time to switch. I was always told not to expect the drug to be a cure all, as in i'll never be depressed. the mediciine is just supposed to "take the edge off" as my dad always stated it. It made the depression hours instead of days or longer and it also made it less dabilitating. The only way i learned to cope was to see the skills and talents that came around because of the depression, to see some good in it whatever it may be. Im far more perceptive of others than they are of themselves, Im amazing at reading people, and usually have alot of insight without even speaking to someone (all that time tearing yourself apart gives alot of practice) I also have awesome reasoning ability and am a great bullshitter, every depressive needs a reason regardless of how silly and they need to be convincing with it. Your depression provides you a depth that most people will never know and that makes you special. As for artemis post, it will jump on you again it is just around the corner, you just need to be ready for it. Know that you've been there before, know that you've delt with it before and know that you will once again get passed it. cherish it while it lasts because its more than most people will ever experience. |
| 2010-01-27 2:26 PM in reply to: #1319576 |
| 7 | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! I am so glad that this thread is going. I have been terribly depressed for two weeks. The worst of it was that I went to a great yoga retreat and there was an acupunturist doing a demostration, so I was like I will just tell her about my fibromyalgia and asthma and not about the depression. She looked at my tounge and said I had a congenital mental illness. Wow I was impressed but also devastated. I know, I have a congenital mental illness when all of the family evidience points to it but boy does it sting when someone else says it out loud. I handled it okay at the retreat and was saying yeah I have a family history of mental illness, not that we all have the same disease, but it appears in every generation that I have history from. I get suicidal when I am in the dumps but never go through with it. I thank God for holding on to me during these times. I am single and suffer on my own. I get lethargic and self lothing, cry for hours. You know what is great, one of my dogs is totally tuned in to me and comes and lays on my chest while I cry. I start to think I am here on this earth for my nieces and nephews if they have a mental illness. I can be a role model that I did not turn to alchohol or illegal drugs like my forbearers. I chose not to have kids to stop that cycle, I regret it though so maybe I will still have a child someday. I stay on my meds because there is no cure for my depression I only have management tools. I had to jump around to find a therapist that could help me think through the bad thoughts and silient voices that try to convince me I am worthless and a waste of skin and bone. So I am glad I am back out of a low point and continue on the road of life until the next time, it will come that is the cycle of the disease, maybe I will be in a better place to handle it better. Oh and I started getting acupunture to see if it will help. |
| 2010-01-27 9:04 PM in reply to: #2638074 |
Expert 1158 Chicagoland | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! mttriagain - 2010-01-27 2:26 PM I am so glad that this thread is going. I have been terribly depressed for two weeks. The worst of it was that I went to a great yoga retreat and there was an acupunturist doing a demostration, so I was like I will just tell her about my fibromyalgia and asthma and not about the depression. She looked at my tounge and said I had a congenital mental illness. Wow I was impressed but also devastated. I know, I have a congenital mental illness when all of the family evidience points to it but boy does it sting when someone else says it out loud. I handled it okay at the retreat and was saying yeah I have a family history of mental illness, not that we all have the same disease, but it appears in every generation that I have history from. I get suicidal when I am in the dumps but never go through with it. I thank God for holding on to me during these times. I am single and suffer on my own. I get lethargic and self lothing, cry for hours. You know what is great, one of my dogs is totally tuned in to me and comes and lays on my chest while I cry. I start to think I am here on this earth for my nieces and nephews if they have a mental illness. I can be a role model that I did not turn to alchohol or illegal drugs like my forbearers. I chose not to have kids to stop that cycle, I regret it though so maybe I will still have a child someday. I stay on my meds because there is no cure for my depression I only have management tools. I had to jump around to find a therapist that could help me think through the bad thoughts and silient voices that try to convince me I am worthless and a waste of skin and bone. So I am glad I am back out of a low point and continue on the road of life until the next time, it will come that is the cycle of the disease, maybe I will be in a better place to handle it better. Oh and I started getting acupunture to see if it will help. So glad you are here. Being single and depressed is not fun, I've been there. You are NOT worthless that is just that little voice in your head, I've been there too and still am. You have friends here and out there that can help, just ask! As for kids, my wife and I both suffer depression. With this experience and knowledge, we are able to closely monitor our children for any signs of depression. This is something our parents did not have or chose to ignore. So don't count out having children, you have the ability to help if need be. (I sound like my grandmother, sorry!!) I am also looking for a cure, it's 30 years of pain. But the people here and my family have given me hope. Take care and I am here to help! Ted |
| 2010-01-28 8:27 AM in reply to: #2638074 |
Master 2429 Falls Church, Virginia | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! mttriagain - 2010-01-27 3:26 PM I am so glad that this thread is going. I have been terribly depressed for two weeks. The worst of it was that I went to a great yoga retreat and there was an acupunturist doing a demostration, so I was like I will just tell her about my fibromyalgia and asthma and not about the depression. She looked at my tounge and said I had a congenital mental illness. Wow I was impressed but also devastated. I know, I have a congenital mental illness when all of the family evidience points to it but boy does it sting when someone else says it out loud. I handled it okay at the retreat and was saying yeah I have a family history of mental illness, not that we all have the same disease, but it appears in every generation that I have history from. I get suicidal when I am in the dumps but never go through with it. I thank God for holding on to me during these times. I am single and suffer on my own. I get lethargic and self lothing, cry for hours. You know what is great, one of my dogs is totally tuned in to me and comes and lays on my chest while I cry. I start to think I am here on this earth for my nieces and nephews if they have a mental illness. I can be a role model that I did not turn to alchohol or illegal drugs like my forbearers. I chose not to have kids to stop that cycle, I regret it though so maybe I will still have a child someday. I stay on my meds because there is no cure for my depression I only have management tools. I had to jump around to find a therapist that could help me think through the bad thoughts and silient voices that try to convince me I am worthless and a waste of skin and bone. So I am glad I am back out of a low point and continue on the road of life until the next time, it will come that is the cycle of the disease, maybe I will be in a better place to handle it better. Oh and I started getting acupunture to see if it will help. Welcome! What a wonderful role model you will be for your nieces and nephews if they need you. You've broken the cycle of drinking and drugs that came before you, and that is something to be proud of. Have you had the acupuncture treatment before? I would be interested to know others who have tried the treatment and had success. Visit often, vent as much as you need to, and know that everyone here understands. |
| 2010-02-02 3:01 AM in reply to: #1319576 |
Extreme Veteran 1175 Langley, BC, 'Wet Coast' Canada | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Hello.... uhh.... hello..... is this thing turned on?? |
| 2010-02-02 7:18 AM in reply to: #2649121 |
Master 1675 Suwanee, Ga. | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! triosaurus - 2010-02-02 4:01 AM Hello.... uhh.... hello..... is this thing turned on?? Of course it is OK. You will not be judged in this forum...only encouraged. Glad you are in the participation mode. It is easy to sit and read and sometimes easy to type the words, but is takes courage to hit the "submit" button. Welcome. Steve |
| 2010-02-02 7:31 AM in reply to: #2649121 |
Master 2429 Falls Church, Virginia | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! triosaurus - 2010-02-02 4:01 AM Hello.... uhh.... hello..... is this thing turned on?? Welcome! So sorry that the funding for your therapy was cut, it sounds like it was really helping for you. Consider yourself vibed and slapped. Wow, that sounds really wrong. Anyway, welcome and feel free to check in an often as you like. |
| 2010-02-02 9:22 AM in reply to: #2649121 |
Extreme Veteran 1074 | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! triosaurus - 2010-02-02 3:01 AM Hello.... uhh.... hello..... is this thing turned on?? Hey man, welcome to the thread. Youre doing the right thing letting it out and moving from lurker. We are all here for each other. Feel free to come in and dump whats on your mind and offer what you know to everyone else. No one can get thru this crap all alone. Hang in there bro! |
| 2010-02-02 8:46 PM in reply to: #1319576 |
| Expert 626 | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Hi all - I wanted to offer this, passed along by a friend who writes on mental health issues, and thought it was helpful: Best to you all |
| 2010-02-06 1:33 AM in reply to: #1319576 |
Extreme Veteran 767 Alexandria, VA | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! So, stuck at work because of the snow, and finally got caught up on this thread. I really appreciate everybody’s openness. It seems our society is beginning to frown more and more upon people who discuss how they feel. And this little oasis offers a refreshing perspective on the struggles some wonderful people are going through. |
| 2010-02-08 1:29 AM in reply to: #1319576 |
Extreme Veteran 1175 Langley, BC, 'Wet Coast' Canada | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! Reno, Atlantia, and Chicago... |
| 2010-02-13 9:07 AM in reply to: #1319576 |
Pro 4189 Pittsburgh, my heart is in Glasgow | Subject: RE: Depression and Moods- Check in! So I don't know if this is just a "winter blues" thing or...but man, I've had a rough time this week. We were snowed in this week, not having to go to work for a few days. I spent the majority of the time applying for jobs and looking for PhD funding opportunities in the UK. I spent an entire day writing a proposal (which I thought was good) doing a bibliography, contacting my references, writing a great cover letter, and then sending a preliminary inquiry and started working on the application. The next morning I was able to go to my one job. First thing I saw when I turned on the computer was a one line e-mail response. "We are unwilling to support your research. Best, University". No suggestions for improving my proposal, no ideas for where else to turn, no further dialog or invitation to dialog. Just no. Rejected before I even submitted my application. Yes, it is my second choice school, but there were way more funding opportunities...so then I'm sitting in my freezing freezing freezing cold, dark, windowlless work space (so cold that I wear my coat and a blanket and fingerless gloves) making $8.50 an hour doing a project that no one cares about, that has no bearing on anything in life, and then going to my retail lackey job where I get treated like crap by customers (thank god for my wonderful co-workers)....and I just keep thinking to myself..."wow, if I didn't show up today, if I didn't work today, no one would notice. No one would care. This project is the lowest of the low in terms of priority. Wow...and this is what I have to look forward to?" And it didn't help that I pretty much got ignored by a group of coworkers when I said good morning to them...because they're all a group of friends. I sit in the library at work and eat my lunch, alone, most days because everyone else goes out to lunch because they can afford it or they have their own office to eat in. I don't even have a desk of my own. I guess I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. Just grinding hourly work for which I get no respect and no recognition. I have no big life milestones to look forward to because, let's face it, I don't make enough money to reach any of them. Early this week there was this big discussion on if you should date someone who "works at the mall" after college. I can't believe some of the things I heard. "Has no ambition other than to ask if you want ranch or balsamic on that", or "works for less than $10 an hour, who can live like that?" or "made poor choices in life that landed them in the service position for which they are only minimally qualified." And I want to scream or put up a billboard that these people doing these jobs DO have ambition, DO have education, DO want more...what would they have me do? Welfare? What, so then they can criticize me for being a drain on society? So I do a job that pays peanuts so that I can pay my bills and have some food on the table. I don't love it. I don't enjoy it, but I do it so that I can keep my head barely above water. I would kill to have a salary. I would kill to have a vacation (don't get any vacation...just get days of no pay, because, no work, no pay, so I have to keep working and can never have time for myself). I would kill to be debating between a 50 and a 52 inch TV, buying a Cervelo or an Orbea, between making $150k and $170k. I'm just tired, and sad, and feeling really defeated and judged and hurt. And all my husband says (and I know he means well) "it will all get better". WHEN? BLOODY WHEN??????? And what am I supposed to do in the meantime? |
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