What's a "deal breaker" for you? (Page 2)

I really only have a few that are ALL equal and have to do with someones character.  Physical appearance, quirks, whether like sushi ... who cares, not an issue but I won't waste my time on anyone who is:

Dishonest, deceitful and betrays me. 

Judgemental of how I think/what I believe or my choices. (you don't like 'em, move along)

Alcohol or drug abuse/addiction.

I am all about loyalty, honesty and full disclosure in a relationship.  No need to hide things from me or lie.  If you are lying then you are hiding something.  If you are hiding something then I ask the question, Why?.  Man up and just put it out there or move on.  I do not judge.  However, I am an adult and will make my own decisions on what is in my best interest and what I will and will not tolerate or accept. And I expect someone to be honest with their feelings and wants and issues with themselves or me.  Doesn't mean you are a bad person or I think any less of you if I don't agree or like what you're doing, it's just that I do not want it in my life.

I really only have a few that are ALL equal and have to do with someones character.  Physical appearance, quirks, whether like sushi ... who cares, not an issue but I won't waste my time on anyone who is:

Dishonest, deceitful and betrays me. 

Judgemental of how I think/what I believe or my choices. (you don't like 'em, move along)

Alcohol or drug abuse/addiction.

I am all about loyalty, honesty and full disclosure in a relationship.  No need to hide things from me or lie.  If you are lying then you are hiding something.  If you are hiding something then I ask the question, Why?.  Man up and just put it out there or move on.  I do not judge.  However, I am an adult and will make my own decisions on what is in my best interest and what I will and will not tolerate or accept. And I expect someone to be honest with their feelings and wants and issues with themselves or me.  Doesn't mean you are a bad person or I think any less of you if I don't agree or like what you're doing, it's just that I do not want it in my life.

I have no problem with this.  In my case one deal-breaker would be if some was "A Christian," which to me is different from being "christian."  BTW, that goes for any religion.  I would be equally unhappy with a devout Muslim or a very Orthodox Jew.  I am an atheist, and while I would date a person with religious faith, I would not want to be with someone whose faith was central to their life.  Similarly, I don't think a devout believer would be terribly happy with me as a partner. 

My views on male-female relationships and on marriage in particular are shaped by my faith, and I have a strong commitment to God and to my church community.  I would not choose to marry anyone with whom I couldn't be a team on these things, so for the past 14 years I've dated exclusively within one community of churches.  The guy I date now is someone who I feel helps me be my best before God.  That's important to me.

My fellow BT'ers...curious question for you....

What, when starting a relationship, would be (or was) considered a deal breaker for you?  I am thinking smoking, cheating, lying, etc....you get the point....

Most of you who know me, know that I am, unfortuantely, in a bit of a drought in the relationship area, so when a friend said that she wanted to set me up, I thought, "Why the heck not?"  We meet for drinks, 2 weeks ago, keep it casual, and we've talked a lot (even talked 2 hours one night on the phone, my ear was burning).  Everytime we talk, it's a great conversation, we make each other laugh, we have a lot in common (he's a couple years older than me, and a chiropractor, who has lots of athletes as clients), so I start to get excited at where this is going.

Until our conversation on Saturday...he not only tells me that he's not looking for anything serious right now, but we can hang out and be friends, but that the fact that I don't like sushi, is a DEAL BREAKER FOR HIM!!!  WHAT??? This has got to be a joke, right?  Drinking too much, smoking, swearing, etc, I see as a deal breaker, but the fact that I don't eat sushi, are you kidding?

Oh, and the nail in the coffin for me, he said he's really selfish when it comes to the "stuff" and he pretty much just likes to fall asleep afterwards, so I better be quick, or bring toys, and I said, "Ya, buh bye!"

My first thought was why would he want YOU to eat Sushi.  (keep in mind I have the emotional level of a 6 year old and my mind starts in the gutter...)

Ok, seriously though, the guy does sound like a d-bag.  But, props for the honesty.  Most d-bags would have let you figure out the "selfish in bed" thing on your own.  On some level, you have to respect the fact that he was honest with you.

But yeah - moving on sounds like a good move...

as for your original question - aside from either an angry ex-husband or having the nickname "The Black Widow," the only deal breaker for me would be:  CATS!

1) No smokers. No druggies. No drunks. And you have to be smart. If you can't keep up with me intellectually, its not going to last, sportsfans. She gets bored, I get bored. Why waste the time?

That works both ways...

2) 10-15 extra pounds are OK- I'm not perfect, nor do I expect a GF to be, but any more than that, you can do something about it, and I work hard to keep my weight under control.

I haven't met a woman yet who didn't think she was ten pounds overweight

3) Bathing regularly, having a cute little black dress for dress up dates, and sexual compatibility are important.

Is the order of those significant?

7) You gotta like my car's moonroof, because unless its fricking 100F or under 50, its open in my car. I live in California, after all.

Kind of like when I have the top down on the Corvette and my passenger rolls her window up because it's "too windy"

If they put themselves in that position to be that overwight, yes they should pay the full cost. No thinking about it.........But for ppl that wont take care of themselves when they clearly could, yes, bill them double. If they get the seats free, next thing u know, they will ask for a free hot dog with those seats as their right. Go figure.

And what is interesting that we all, as ppl, like to divide among us by anthing - skin color, religion, ethnicity, continent. And still we wonder why there is violence. If ppl realized they are ALL just ppl,.......I will not have a preconcieved stereotype in my head about what I will and what I will not do in a given situation. Life is to diverse to stereotype it like that.