Triathlon Dating Thread (Page 20)

Welshy is some good stuff.

As others have also pointed out, online dating for men is a numbers game. It's not about how long you've been active on a dating site; it's about how many hundreds of contact messages you've sent out.

And yes, that would be hundreds, not dozens.

while in your case (although you've never online dated so I think you may be underestimating the # of messages you'll end up reading in a day that all sound the exact same...) you may be 100% correct. However, you are 1.

and I assure you, what I suggest above has been tried much more than once.

K.I.S.S. is good advice in a lot of situations, and probably good advice in the world of online dating as well.  

That may be what wins a nice young man a date with you (and in fact what would win a nice young woman a date with me), but the reality is on a huge site like match or even the general dating pool, being mildly aggressive and assertive has more value than being clever. Smart and witty guys lose all the time while their idiot DB counterparts get the girl over and over and over. I'm not saying clever is wrong, just that it's not necessary.

As a nice guy I can say this is VERY true.

Very true but if a girl goes for the DB counterpart then I never wanted to meet her anyway  Besides, I can be witty and clever in a hurry.  Err wait, I gave that crap up ages ago.

Does that make you half-witty?

This has been a fun thread this week. The one thing I learned is that it pays to take a shot. There is a certain female person who has been reading this thread who knows what I mean

I know Welshy can account for himself but ...

What Welshy said was "Don't try to be clever." He didn't say don't be clever or suppress your cleverness. I know he said his penis isn't clever, but that's a different issue. The penis is of the earth; the mind is more elusive.

I think it's good advice. He's really saying "Don't be anyone other than who you are." And it was in response to Guy B saying he was going to co-opt Guy A's witty profile. If you aren't that guy, don't pretend to be that guy. Don't be a guy you think women want. Be the guy you are. That is always more attractive, regardless of how clever you are or aren't.

I don't agree, however, that being aggressive has more value than being clever. It has more value with some women; not so with other women (obviously, as you can judge by the reactions). But he's not wrong in pointing out that women do respond more to an assertive man. Unfortunately, they also respond to aggressive men. Does that make it a good match? No, not necessarily. It just means we're animals and we will respond unconsciously at primal levels. Which is not a bad thing for the more brainy or clever guy - women will also draw a dotted line from sufficiently intelligent to reliable provider.

Whether you are assertive or clever, just be who you are. Don't tie yourself in knots trying to figure out what someone else wants you to be; that's exhausting work. Be who you are and let the chips fall where they may.

You are absolutely right. But so am I.

More like a half-wit

"I know Welshy can account for himself but ...

What Welshy said was "Don't try to be clever." He didn't say don't be clever or suppress your cleverness. I know he said his penis isn't clever, but that's a different issue. The penis is of the earth; the mind is more elusive.

I think it's good advice. He's really saying "Don't be anyone other than who you are." And it was in response to Guy B saying he was going to co-opt Guy A's witty profile. If you aren't that guy, don't pretend to be that guy. Don't be a guy you think women want. Be the guy you are. That is always more attractive, regardless of how clever you are or aren't.

I don't agree, however, that being aggressive has more value than being clever. It has more value with some women; not so with other women (obviously, as you can judge by the reactions). But he's not wrong in pointing out that women do respond more to an assertive man. Unfortunately, they also respond to aggressive men. Does that make it a good match? No, not necessarily. It just means we're animals and we will respond unconsciously at primal levels. Which is not a bad thing for the more brainy or clever guy - women will also draw a dotted line from sufficiently intelligent to reliable provider.

Whether you are assertive or clever, just be who you are. Don't tie yourself in knots trying to figure out what someone else wants you to be; that's exhausting work. Be who you are and let the chips fall where they may.

uh huh.

It's official, this is the greatest thread in the history of BT.  I look forward to seeing the comedy included in the witty rhetoric and sarcasm.  I thank you all!

Oh and from this thread I have learned that I am never wasting my time with on-line dating, for that I thank you also.

I am so glad something good came out of this.  IMHO - It is a complete waste of money.  

More than likely the next woman I end up dating will be someone I bumped into - the sparks started flying, the sheets catch fire - and it will have had nothing to do with MuckFatch.com.  

YES!!!  My work here is done. 

After 20 years, we could burn this house down!!  We just get each other.....the "what we have in common" is just fluff.

Find her!!

Truly.....GOOD LUCK!

Someone on hear mentioned "How About We" dating site... I created a free profile over there - and instantly there were a ton of women that wanted to "chat" with me.  They were mostly out of state, and when I did a search for my area, very slim pickings.    Of course - there is always one or 2 a person could be interested in, but if you want to do more than look, you have to break out the credit card....

Another waste of time / money (I didn't pay) dating site.  

I am convinced online dating is a joke.  

Meh, it's not a joke but it seriously is a huge numbers game like has been said numerous times before.  It's certainly possible to meet good people online as my brother is married to a girl he met on match, but it does zap that initial in person chemistry/spark.  I guess if you're not quite outgoing in public and hesitant to try and meet people while out and about, online probably has an even greater draw.  I always thought of it as supplemental dating

That's the truth.  I've seen some of the inboxes of my female friends that are on various sites and it's creepy as hell.  Seemingly a bit more filtered on pay sites (like match) but not completely void.  The biggest problem I had with match was that in order to respond both parties need to be paying members, total bonk.  Not to mention there's no indicator that the one you are emailing even has paid for a membership.