Triathlon Dating Thread Ver 2.0 (Page 23)

Hint: guys may want to BE that but a lot of us don't want to hear that.  It makes our gold-digger spider sense go on full alert.  On the other hand if he's just looking for fun and not a marriage, you might get a different reaction...

It is not gold digging when I will have more own career and contribue my own money to the relationship.  We already had this convo in here. 

And I know many do not agree, but I am ok with that.  I did the bread-winner and took care of my ex and still do now, nicely.  It did not work for ME personally, may work for others. 

Just saying that a wrong perception could be limiting the pool, so to speak.

Maybe I shouldn't even chime in, since I'm not on the market...  But I still pretend I'm chasing the wife.  I don't take her for granted.

I hope with all the talk about what you want from someone else, you think just as hard about what you can provide.  I'm always thinking what I can do to provide what my wife is looking for in a guy and not only what she can provide me.

Just because she can mark off all my list items -  sweet, loving, beautiful, hard working, fun, loves to travel, etc...  Doesn't mean I can sit on my but and drink beer, get fat, play video games, and quit my job.  I need to keep working to be the guy SHE can get/deserves.  It's not one sided.

DeannaS - 2012-09-21 9:52 AM

turtlegirl - 2012-09-21 11:37 AM

hmm I'm fairly simple then.  Umm guy can't be an alcoholic or druggie or gambler, has a good job and is smart, ambitious, likes animals and sports (sorry golf is not a sport. I mean football, baseball, hockey) and does some of his own.  Oh and can't be currently married.  Kids, as long as exwifey is involved is ok. 

I've basically decided that there's no "perfect" guy, and there's lots of "what I will put up with" guys. Right now, I'll put up with different things than I would if I were looking for a live-in life partner. No job? Meh. I'm not paying his way for stuff. But, if he can figure out how to pay his way, I'll pay my own. Doesn't like working out? Meh. I'll do that with my friends. Likes to go see bands with me and knows how to make me feel good? Sweet. You're in (until the morning when I say, "see ya next week - I'm going to run with my friends now.")

I think everyone has a "checklist" in what they are looking for, but there is some compromise as no one is perfect.  Boil it down to the Top 3 things that are a MUST.

Here's my checklist:

1. Fun

2. Funny

3.  Genuine

4. Ambitious

5. Active

There are other qualities that help, too, but those are my non-negotiables.  And a few deal breakers: smoking, drugs, super religious, kids (in most cases).

6. Firefighter Calendar Model

That definitely helps!  Of course, he's never going to be my bf, even if he is fun to look at...and touch.

I relapse when she goes to LA.

Fun, Fit, Funny and Adventurous.  (opening line on my OKC profile)....

No smoking, drugs, and I am an atheist (not one of those militant "hey you stupid god lover" types)

I have a kid - oh well.....on to the next.    

Holy sh*t - You must be my soul mate....

I am not an alcoholic, druggie or gambler (although quarter poker night is fun).  Love to golf - but it's not a sport like Football and Baseball and HOCKEY.  (Liking to watch Hockey and Football gives you BIG BONUS POINTS).  (likes sports - and not an addict of any type - check)

I own a cat and a dog. (likes animals - check)

I have a good job (although I don't like it, so I'm looking to improve it). (ambitious - check)

I have an 11 year old child - but not looking for a baby mama - he already has one of those, and she is involved in his life.  (we 50/50 split custody and all related costs associated with having a child together).  (baby mama involved - check)

I shave with a spoon (more manly than you - check)

What are you doing Saturday night?  

Only because I'm waiting on you!  Shhhh - don't tell the other women I'm flirting with.  

You would love my kids!  My wife too, but I assume that's a limiter.

Depends on how hot she is

That's hot.

Too funny!

One thing on my checklist, which I thought would be a "given"...MUST have a bed!  Yes, kids I went out with a guy who told me

Date: "my wife took everything when she moved out, other than the couch.  But I love my couch!" 

Me "Umm, haven't you been divorced about  2 years?"

Date "Yes and the couch is great, no need to buy a bed"

I would have cut him some slack if he said it was a futon as least, bu maybe I'm just picky, LOL

I love lamp.

Hmmm, with that many beds, you must sleep around a lot   Sorry could not help myself!

I may or may not be off the table / out of this thread - been seeing a guy for 6ish weeks. Met him on Match

I'm going to be in Jamaica - solo - for the big before-Halloween weekend when all the parties are happening. Made the plans before I met the guy, but a solo beach vacation has been on my bucket list forever.