Kids calling teachers by their first names (Page 3)

I can't imagine allowing my 8th graders calling me Kim.  A line has to be drawn between my students and myself--we are not on peer to peer terms.  Now, I have students who have graduated that will call me Kim, but more often, even if they're well into their 20s STILL call me Mrs. R....they say they just can't call my by my first name.

One thing that really bothers me at my school is that some teachers allow students to call them just by their last names.  I have never allowed that either.  If teachers want to be considered on equal footing with other professionals, we need to maintain a professional distinction/formality  between ourselves and our students.  

I would find that very disrespectful.  If I want to be called Coach Robyn, Auntie Robyn, Miss Robyn or Robyn I'll request it.  I really don't want to be called Miss LastName.  As others have mentioned I cannot imagine going against what someone specifically requests to be called.  

i lof u

Yeah, I can see you doing that, and that's fine......but mine won't.  

My children will not address adults by their first name.  So far, it's worked well.  My children are respected by their peers and their teachers/coaches, and my kids respect their teachers/coaches as well.   

Then again, I have 5 kids, you have none.....so I have some experience to draw on.  

I'm not saying your way won't work, in fact, it would fit rather well for you.

Couldn't that have the effect of teaching your children that your own opinion is the only one that matters and there is no room for discussion?

Yes, when it comes to respecting their elders, my opinion is the only one that matters.....you have it exactly right.

ETA - and no, there is no room for discussion.

Sorry.....if we ever meet, I will let my kids know that they can address you as "Dumbazz"....but it will still be Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Dumbazz.

It doesn't matter what you want, they are my children. I don't care what you request.  You aren't raising them, I am.  You have no idea what lessons or experiences we are teaching them from day to day.....how dare you assume that you can request my children do ANYTHING!  Your opinion, or requests, when it comes to raising MY children, means nothing to me.  I don't give a rats arse if you find it disrespectful or not.....your opinion doesn't count when it comes to raising my children.

ETA - we are talking about addressing adults.....there are certainly times when you (the collective you), as a responsible adult, may have occasion to teach my children a lesson, and I'm good with that......as long as I agree.  But if I don't......like it or not, they are MY children, I have the ultimate say in their upbringing.

I'm not sure that undermining the teachers authority on the first day of school is the best way to teach a child respect.

I agree....but it might teach a teacher something.  

My children will address adults by their last name, prefixed with Mr., Mrs., or Ms. or Coach, or Sir, or Ma'am.

Get over it.....it's not your call.  It's worked for generations......I'm good with it.  If you aren't.....teach your children the "dumbazz" surname......it seems to have some steam.  

Lemme know how that works out for you.

I have no illusions that it is my call. And I am a bartender, I have been called far worse things than Mr. Dumbazz.

Maybe I am idealistic in my views, but I would hope that kids can understand a world that has grey as well as black and white.

Really?  I have to teach my children grey by the way they address adults??  Your example is ridiculous.  I've been a cop for 25 years.....I don't even keep track of what I've been called....it has NOTHING to do with this discussion.

I'm sorry.....my kids will address adults as I have stated.....as a matter of respect.  Your's can address adults as "dumbazz" if you please.  I don't care.

Surprisingly few teachers chiming in here. I've taught elementary and middle school for most of my career, both in the US and in international schools overseas. In most cases, there's a policy or just an unwritten norm for how teachers are addressed. At most schools, it's Mr./Mrs./Ms. and last name. I'm used to this, and prefer it for the reasons others have mentioned--we're there to be guides and instructors, not BFF's,  In some international schools, it's common for teachers, esp. of younger children, to be addressed as Mr./Mrs./Ms. plus first name. This is done in my current school but seems to fade out at the upper grades--by grade 4 and five most prefer last names. The first name thing sounds odd to me, but clearly it varies regionally; addressing people this way is also common in some Asian languages so it feels comfortable to many of our students.

I worked for several years at a small, alternative-type school where teachers were addressed by their first names; I found it odd at first but I didn't find it interfered with respect or learning. There are plenty of other ways to build respectful and productive student-teacher relationships. I'm still in touch with some of those kids as adults and they do still call me by my first name. If a parent or child had an issue with the preferred way of addressing teachers (a few have, over the years; some students find it difficult to pronounce my last name, too), I'd suggest they just call me "Teacher". That's respectful, appropriate, and won't embarrass the child in front of peers.

Ah, yes, I can see how your children would learn respect from you seeing as you seem to have no respect for others. They may be your children but it's MY name.  

I'm laughing hard Left brain!  There are undeniably strong opinions here although one can certainly debate the level of respect demonstrated.

I grew up in probably the most informal area in the US or (perhaps the world) so we called our teachers by (Mr/Ms) last names or first names and sometimes students used either ie Miss Sanchez was also called Susan.  There was one teacher whose last name and first name were unknown to most people.  Everyone called him by a nickname.  It was years before I knew that it WAS a nickname.  This was the culture of the community.

I became a teacher myself and my first job was in a conservative Catholic School so of course I was called Miss Pausback.  One of the school's kindergartners taught me a lesson about names.  Although she wasn't in my class, we became friends.  At one point, she was demonstrating her new ability to write her name and asked me if I wanted her to write my name.  I asked if she wanted to write my first name or last name.  She responded in surprise, "I thought Miss Pausback WAS your first name!"

I have taught or lived in several different countries.  One country did not have last names ie family names.  I can't remember but I believe students there called me by my first name or "Seyagi" meaning teacher.  Another time in Puerto Rico, I worked in a homeless shelter.  The family that ran the shelter spoke both English and Spanish.  The adult children had grown up on the island and although fluent in English the English swearwords did not hold the power that they do for someone raised in a monolingual English family.  They periodically called their beloved and much respected mother a motherf____r.  It made me want to crawl under the table but absolutely no disrespect was meant in the word.

From these experiences I try to be sensitive to the culture of where ever I am.  Many people feel as strongly as Left Brain about these things.  To me it has more to do with custom and language than respect but it is respectful to be aware of cultural differences and act accordingly.

Excellent use of personal attack to strengthen your argument. 

Excellent. 

An example: my cousin raises her 2 children a certain way. There is one area where we disagree greatly. This said area, is how the children talk to me & other adult relatives. (yes, relatives and teachers are different, however, these are young school age children amongst adults) Anyway, my cousin sees some of the behaviors of her children as 'ok'. I do not. When they address other people, I do not give my opinion. However, when they speak to me or my husband a certain way, I do NOT allow it, and I correct them. That behavior is not acceptable to me or him. 

So, I do not care if they're "HER" children, but it takes a village. And I believe kids should be taught that not everyone agrees with your "right" way. 

For the record, if the roles were reversed and I wanted to be called Ms. LastName and a child normally was taught to call adults by a first name I would expect the same respect of them calling me by what I ask to be called by.  

Growing up most of the adults (not teachers) in my life preferred first names.  However, if they introduced themselves my a specific honorific (Mr, Mrs, Ms etc) that is what I used.  There was never any question.  

My experience has been that when children are taught discipline on a small level, and certainly addressing adults with their last names after an appropriate surname qualifies as a small lesson/level, they have little trouble moving that same discipline to a larger level.  It's really not about how they address adults, but more how they learn to obey/follow ideas passed by their parents, who have also been passed lessons/ideals by previous generations.

In our home, our children learn to address adults by their last name, prefaced by Mr., Mrs., Ms., Coach, or whatever.  Yes, I agree it's not all that important by itself, but that's not why we teach it. We teach it as a way of instilling discipline in our children.  That discipline then follows over to homework, athletics, etc.  Again, our opinion is that the small, easy stuff, like how they address adults, leads them in the proper direction for the harder stuff, like being responsible for homework, athletic endeavors, friendships, etc.

My children range in age from 31 to 12.....they are all very accomplished in some way, and each of them can stand alone in their chosen field/endeavor.  

My children will address you, as an adult, by your last name......I understand that you may not be comfortable with it, and may wish to be addressed in another way.....but you're not responsible for my children's upbringing......  I am, along with my wife, and we will decide, based on a broader set of ideals than a simple address, how they will address you.

We don't care what you think......get over it.

ETA  - uclamatt, you're right, I don't type as fast as I think, I apologize.

How respectful.
The irony in this thread is amazing. 

How are you teaching your children respect when they are disrespecting me by calling me something I PASSIONATELY do not want to be called. Mrs. LastName is my MIL, NOT me. My name is Ann, that is what I want to be called. I'm cool with Ann, Miss Ann, Nekkid, Ms. Nekkid, but NOT Mrs. LastName. I just DO NOT want to be called it, by anyone regardless of age.

YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!