Men vs Women (Page 3)

Drawer with a battery charger and spare rechargeables waiting and charged.

Yeah, but dude, why the hell would you want to hurt her more? I mean, assuming you love her and all.

as usual, the wife comes out looking good here... AGAIN....  

how do these things always get turned around on us guys?

we're all getting caught up on the OP's hypothetical of why shouldn't he get angry with his wife about the tri mishap when his original gripe was about her getting on him for losing his son in the store...

these things seem to happen all the time - it's OK for the wife (love 'er to death) to criticize and second-guess my (our) actions but when we do the same I'm (we're) SATAN...

I feel your pain....

sorry, it wasn't OP's gripe... it was kproudfoot"s

No...it goes both ways. Petty arguing just to argue is dumb, no matter who initiates it. If it were the guys fault about the kid running into the bike, she shouldn't harp on him about it.

that's the best solution, obviously...

but I think the original point is that it never seems to work that way...

The battery can't tell you, "You don't look fat in that dress at all, honey!"

I agree.

Took me a couple years to figure out 2 rules.......   #1What's her's is her's and what's mine is her's   and #2  She is always right (she hates it when I don't fight back).

And one rule that she told me, Do not ever mess around or you will get a Philippine Haircut.   Didn't want to become a second John Wayne Bobbit.

Why, Keith, I'll take that as a compliment.

Several others have iterated this line of thought ...

This ain't a Men vs. Women issue, it's a "how do I disagree fairly" issue.

I am only responsible for my own actions. If someone treated me poorly, and either my anger or the way I expressed it is unreasonable, then I need to apologize.

At that point, the ball's in the other person's court. Then, if I allow them to continue treating me poorly, that's disrespectful to both myself and the other person. It isn't okay to let other people practice their bad behavior on me.

I will make my expectations very clear. If the other person can't respect them, that person, essentially, is choosing to end our interaction because I will distance myself. If I tolerate it, I am choosing to continue the interaction as is.

A very wise woman once suggested to me three questions to test my behavior:

1. Is it loving?

2. Is it honest?

3. Is it necessary? 

it shouldn't be a "Men vs. Women" issue but, again, I think the OP is asserting that it all too often is... and us men always end up being the puppy dogs...

it shouldn't be that way but unfortunatley it is...

i'd rather be happy than right also....

can you guys figure out from the tone of my posts that currently at this exact moment in time my loving wife and I are engaged in one of these little tangles...

... so the fact that this post appeared is proving to be extremely therapeutic...

x -vs- y

always ends badly

I prefer

x + y

Sometimes we are happy, sometimes sad, sometimmes angry...etc.
the point is that we are we

right and wrong is counterproductive to teamwork

Ya want to be a "man"? shut up when you are right, and own up when you are wrong.

It is often how folks maintain some control when they know they've made a mistake but must maintain some control.  They learned that behavior somewhere.  It doesn't matter man or woman.  

-Brian 

that might be the best post on this entire thread!

HAH! That was funny. Or, maybe the actual experience of it wasn't so funny.

My point is that the OP is entitled to expect his wife to behave like an adult. An adult who knows how to reconcile disagreements.

I hate being badgered, I hate harping, I hate nagging and I hate it when old disagreements that were reconciled are used to take shots at me. I expect better than that and I give better than that. Not happy? Tell me what the problem is and give me the chance to make it better, if it's something that is my responsibility to make better. Let me reconcile. When an issue is reconciled, it stays reconciled. I will not revisit old arguments and I will not apologize just because my partner has his knickers in a knot - unless I have something to apologize for. I won't be emotionally blackmailed.

When you do wrong, say you're sorry. When you make a mistake, say you're sorry. It's not rocket science.

(Lots of the post deleted.) 

There are some questions that just shouldn't be asked, and if they're asked, they shouldn't be answered.  I don't have any problem responding with "I'm not answering that question." 

 ...which generally means 'Yes'

Yep, people don't plead the Fifth unless they're hiding something.