How old is too old to start a family? (Page 3)

KeriKadi - 2011-01-26 2:21 PM



You didn't quote me but I did ask what risks you are talking about?  You've said it twice now so surely you know.

momo - 2011-01-27 1:54 PM Lets see... Down Syndrome, Aspergers, Birth defects..etc.. Not saying it would happen, but chances are greater.. As a single guy, i meet women that want to have children.. So I'm 37.. women im meeting range from 34-42(so athletic some not).. so im a thinker.. example scenario: so say i meet a lady same age as me.. ripe age of 37.. two years later we are serious thinking of future. so 39, then forty, less have a baby.. my answer would be have you bumped your head. 40 and pregnant ummm no. this is just me though.

Whizzzzz - 2011-01-26 1:10 PM

I had almost the same experience. My sister and I are both adopted. I was adopted when my Mom was 42 and my Dad 43. My sister was adopted when I was 6... therefore my Mom was 48 and my Dad was 49!

I used to go into my Mom's bedroom and watch her breathe. Because I was afraid of her dying. (She was only in her late 40's at that point...and didn't have any health concerns... but I saw my parents as OLD.)

I was lucky enough to have my Dad with us until I was 34. He was 78 when he died... just shy of his 79th birthday.

My Mom is still with us... and we're making plans to celebrate her 83rd birthday.

lisac957 - 2011-01-27 11:58 AM

So a 40-year-old woman who wants to have a baby has "bumped her head" and is presumably crazy?
Wow.

Yes, it's just you.
 
 

lisac957 - 2011-01-27 2:58 PM

So a 40-year-old woman who wants to have a baby has "bumped her head" and is presumably crazy?
Wow.

lisac957 - 2011-01-27 2:58 PM



So a 40-year-old woman who wants to have a baby has "bumped her head" and is presumably crazy?
Wow.

Yes, it's just you.
 
 

momo - 2011-01-27 1:54 PM Lets see... Down Syndrome, Aspergers, Birth defects..etc.. Not saying it would happen, but chances are greater.. As a single guy, i meet women that want to have children.. So I'm 37.. women im meeting range from 34-42(so athletic some not).. so im a thinker.. example scenario: so say i meet a lady same age as me.. ripe age of 37.. two years later we are serious thinking of future. so 39, then forty, less have a baby.. my answer would be have you bumped your head. 40 and pregnant ummm no. this is just me though.

KeriKadi - 2011-01-27 2:50 PM

I'll give you Down Syndrome - we birth at home and although I have prenatal care we do not do any testing so we have no guarantees. I'm a firm believer that you get the baby you are supposed to get. Not saying testing is bad, just not for us.

r1237h - 2011-01-27 5:37 PM

There are plenty who would say that Down syndrome is enough of a reason to worry. The risk increases with age, and we did do the testing. I'm happy that we did not have to make a hard choice.

KeriKadi - 2011-01-27 7:02 PM

I have two friends that have children with Downs Syndrome, both birthed in their 20s and are happy to have their children in their lives.  I am one that does not understand why having a baby with Down Syndrome would be horrible. 

The Occurrence of Down Syndrome

Most of the time, the occurrence of Down syndrome is due to a random event that occurred during formation of the reproductive cells, the ovum or sperm. As far as we know, Down syndrome is not attributable to any behavioral activity of the parents or environmental factors. The probability that another child with Down syndrome will be born in a subsequent pregnancy is about 1 percent, regardless of maternal age.

Down syndrome increases to 1 in 400 for women who become pregnant at age 35. The likelihood of Down syndrome continues to increase as a woman ages, so that by age 42, the chance is 1 in 60 that a pregnant woman will have a baby with Down syndrome.

Its Only Money - 2011-01-26 3:58 PM She's 42 and I'm 36, we are hoping to start in 2011, god willing. I don't think we are too old. I don't think we will short change our kids. I think/hope we are actually putting ourselves into position to maybe be retired when they are at the ages where we will be taxiing them around to games and practices and what not. I know that is a stretch goal, but we can dream. That's one of the reasons we waited, we have a decent nest egg already and several things in the fire that could really set us up. I think I will try to get things started tonight.

KeriKadi - 2011-01-27 4:02 PM I have two friends that have children with Downs Syndrome, both birthed in their 20s and are happy to have their children in their lives.  I am one that does not understand why having a baby with Down Syndrome would be horrible.

Whizzzzz - 2011-01-27 7:15 PM


I am 40 and Chris is 35. We are in the same sort of situation as you are. I hope things work out, but if not, then it was not meant to be. I'm willing to go through some "assistance" but I'm not willing to do IVF. Some acrobatics, but not a full blown Olympic gymnastic repertoire.

We'll see.

I wonder what your wife thinks. If her response to this is the same as yours is. I FEEL the pressure of "getting too old to have kids" much more than Chris does. MUCH MORE than he does.

I know my situation was not right before... it might be right now, but am I too old? (I mean purely PHYSICALLY. Are my eggs and tubes and is my uterus fit and spry enough to handle this all?) Who knows. I guess we won't know until we try.

And we won't be trying until after IMWI. It's in the future, though. I hope.

ChineseDemocracy - 2011-01-27 8:25 PM

Just the fact folks are choosing to start a family makes me happy.  
Choosing to start a family means there is thought and planning behind the decision.  
The fatalistic "what will happen will happen" is the thing that sticks in my craw the most.

As for the "how old is too old" question...it's a personal decision.  Communicate as a couple and understand the risks. (as per marchofdimes.org)
the risk of having a baby with Down's Syndrome:
at age 40: 1 in 100
at age 45: 1 in 30
at age of 49: 1 in 10

about 10 percent of recognized pregnancies for women in their 20s end in miscarriage.
About 20 percent at ages 35 to 39
About 35 percent at ages 40 to 44
More than 50 percent by age 45
The age-related increased risk of miscarriage is caused, at least in part, by increases in chromosomal abnormalities.

There are clearly risks associated.  Read more at marchofdimes.com

That said, there are a lot of potential advantages I see with older parents.  With age comes wisdom.  With increased savings accumulated, a parent may have a better chance to stay at home raising their own child.  The fact you are choosing to have a baby at that late an age speaks volumes about your desire to be a great parent. 

btw, I don't buy the whole "short-changing" theory.  Quality trumps quantity in my book.  
Good luck!


 

Its Only Money - 2011-01-28 6:55 AM Yes I think she probably feels more pressure than me. As a guy I don't think I can understand it quite the way she does. We are going to try for a few years and if nothing happens we will adopt. I try to help her not worry about it, we are very much a "What is meant to be will be" type of couple. If it happens naturally we will be thrilled, but if it doesn't we are ok with that too.

tricrazy - 2011-01-27 5:12 PM



I agree with you on that one Keri.